The few GAGers that know me probably will be surprised by what I have to say. I feel like my life is falling apart. Not that you care but I really need some help. It started 2 weeks ago: I was in school just being my lonely, friendless self as usual but then this bully kept harassing me saying racist remarks and started hurting me (bending my arm, spitting in my face, etc). After a little bit, I just exploded and dropped him and punched him until he passed out with a bloody face. I came home all bruised up and quiet and my parents kept asking why. I finally told them the truth but they just ended up fighting and now they want to divorce... What's even worse is that neither of them want to stay with me. Where will I go? I'm also afraid that I might be in trouble by the police with attempted murder. My parents don't know how hard I try to be the child they habe always wanted but they don't know how difficult it is. I know I'm a disappointment and bring shame. No one ever sees me cry including me. I'm a guy so "I'm not supposed to show emotion" and I just smile to keep me from crying. The only thing positive that has happened is that I met this amazingly perfect girl (18) for the first time ever that closely resembles my dream girl. But I don't know if I should let her go because at this point, I feel like I'm using her just to keep me happy. She needs someone that deserves her. Man I feel like I have depression and I didn't know how bad this felt until now. Sometimes I feel like putting a gun to my head and say goodbye to the suffering of this worthless life. But y'all know I wouldn't do that...
Sorry for the length of the question. and thank you if u have made it this far. I was the positive "Mario21" you all know until now sadly. Please help!
Ps. I might delete my account but I'm not sure. But you might convince me not to lol. I like GAG too much XD. I love you all 💜💜💜
Please don't flag this because I will fuckin scream
Most Helpful Girl
*hug* I'm really sorry this is happening. People can be really shitty.
The bully got what he deserved, you weren't trying to murder him and he attacked you, so if anyone is in trouble it should be him. I would chase that girl as well, she sounds like a keeper 😉
I know what it's like to have parents like that. I try really hard to be the daughter my mom wants me to be, and it's never good enough. I can't hold my tongue when she yells at me for not doing exactly what she wants when she wants it done, and she calls me all sorts of names and then gets concerned when I express I feel worthless because "you're not worthless, who's telling you you're worthless? We need to see a doctor, you're acting up, you have anger management issues."
The kicker is I don't think I have anything wrong (if I do a phobia, which, while not diagnosed by a doctor, is fucking obvious if you see me around bugs) and she thinks she's perfect and that everyone else is in the wrong. Every time she apologizes, it's a half assed "well I'm sorry if I offended you"
My advice is to spend time with an adult that's not your parents that you can count on. Mine is my coach, we get along and while I'm too shy IRL to tell him if anything is bothering me, if something really started to become unbearable I could tell him. I suggest not the guidance counselor but a coach, teacher, or, if you go to a Boys and Girls club or YMCA, one of the mentors (Best. People. Ever.) Don't give up, I know it can be really hard, but remember, you only have 2 years until college, and then you move out and don't have to deal with their shit anymore.1