My life is falling apart?

The few GAGers that know me probably will be surprised by what I have to say. I feel like my life is falling apart. Not that you care but I really need some help. It started 2 weeks ago: I was in school just being my lonely, friendless self as usual but then this bully kept harassing me saying racist remarks and started hurting me (bending my arm, spitting in my face, etc). After a little bit, I just exploded and dropped him and punched him until he passed out with a bloody face. I came home all bruised up and quiet and my parents kept asking why. I finally told them the truth but they just ended up fighting and now they want to divorce... What's even worse is that neither of them want to stay with me. Where will I go? I'm also afraid that I might be in trouble by the police with attempted murder. My parents don't know how hard I try to be the child they habe always wanted but they don't know how difficult it is. I know I'm a disappointment and bring shame. No one ever sees me cry including me. I'm a guy so "I'm not supposed to show emotion" and I just smile to keep me from crying. The only thing positive that has happened is that I met this amazingly perfect girl (18) for the first time ever that closely resembles my dream girl. But I don't know if I should let her go because at this point, I feel like I'm using her just to keep me happy. She needs someone that deserves her. Man I feel like I have depression and I didn't know how bad this felt until now. Sometimes I feel like putting a gun to my head and say goodbye to the suffering of this worthless life. But y'all know I wouldn't do that...

Sorry for the length of the question. and thank you if u have made it this far. I was the positive "Mario21" you all know until now sadly. Please help!

Ps. I might delete my account but I'm not sure. But you might convince me not to lol. I like GAG too much XD. I love you all 💜💜💜

Please don't flag this because I will fuckin scream


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Most Helpful Girl

  • *hug* I'm really sorry this is happening. People can be really shitty.

    The bully got what he deserved, you weren't trying to murder him and he attacked you, so if anyone is in trouble it should be him. I would chase that girl as well, she sounds like a keeper 😉

    I know what it's like to have parents like that. I try really hard to be the daughter my mom wants me to be, and it's never good enough. I can't hold my tongue when she yells at me for not doing exactly what she wants when she wants it done, and she calls me all sorts of names and then gets concerned when I express I feel worthless because "you're not worthless, who's telling you you're worthless? We need to see a doctor, you're acting up, you have anger management issues."

    The kicker is I don't think I have anything wrong (if I do a phobia, which, while not diagnosed by a doctor, is fucking obvious if you see me around bugs) and she thinks she's perfect and that everyone else is in the wrong. Every time she apologizes, it's a half assed "well I'm sorry if I offended you"

    My advice is to spend time with an adult that's not your parents that you can count on. Mine is my coach, we get along and while I'm too shy IRL to tell him if anything is bothering me, if something really started to become unbearable I could tell him. I suggest not the guidance counselor but a coach, teacher, or, if you go to a Boys and Girls club or YMCA, one of the mentors (Best. People. Ever.) Don't give up, I know it can be really hard, but remember, you only have 2 years until college, and then you move out and don't have to deal with their shit anymore.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Life is complicated & hon don't leave i may have just joined not to long ago but, we all love ya! i don't think you should hide your emotion though everyone cries !!! & guys show emotion & they are aloud to!! be yourself!! those people were over you and harassing you and it is wrong but there are many people who are like them everywhere!! it won't change for nothing... Abuse n depression is sucky and hard to get through but just keep moving on. Live your life! Be who you are meant to be... don't let those things make you who you are let the lessons you learned make you who you are!!! I should take my own advise but, i don't do it... but, take it from me it is not worth it to stay depressed and upset and worrisome and lose yourself to a monster.. Life is what you make it to be, Make your life what you know it is supposed to be!!!

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  • Oh I am so sorry Mario.😔 Don't leave , you are well liked on G@G and we will try to help and support you the best we can. This site is designed to help and support people when they feel they've no one else to turn too. Stay amongst your friends here.

    If you feel you need a break from GaG then just go inactive. If you deactivate you may regret it when you are in a better frame of mind.

    Maybe you are suffering from depression. Is there any adult at school you can turn to for support?

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    • Thank u so much! 💜 and I'm still working on those push up by the way ;) 😂

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    • Aww I'm happy you are staying.❤ Besides I don't want to be mean by making you do extra push ups 😮, just do half, and that'll be enough 😂

    • Yay! 😂

  • Oh wow! Thats so fuckin sad! Don't leave I can help!!!

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    • So i decided to stay lol.

      by the way you're one cute apple ;)

    • Aww... why everyone so nice to me? Lol what ever happen to cyber bullying lol...

    • Good stay! I have off days all the time!

  • Awww no Mario don't go, I know how ya feel, I'm just starting to get rid of my depression, if ya wanna talk you know where you can find me <3

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  • Hey Mario, is there any other family me never you can stay with after you parents divorce? You are not going to be alone in this, I promise.

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    • My aunt and uncle think I'm a bad influence to my cousins so yeah I'm pretty much alone

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    • Good luck. 🤓

    • 👍👊

  • Please don't leave gag, I don't know u very well but I promise it will be ok in the end <3

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What Guys Said 2

  • Dude, much respect for you for coming out with this stuff, it's pretty personal and not many guys would be willing to admit things like this. You say your life is coming apart right? Concentrate on the good things, I mean you were talking about that girl right? You should tell her exactly what's been going on and how you feel and if she cares for you, she'll stick with you until the very end. Also, fuck the bad things, I used to get bullied once and kept quiet like you did, right until I exploded and nearly killed the guy. You should try talking to your school counselor, they will definitely help you out. Mine did when I went to resolve my issues and I think you're in a place where support can help you out a lot. You are NOT a disappointment or a shame, to me you sound like a brave, great and honest person. I wish you the best of luck my friend.
    When you feel like life is pulling you back, remember that it's only doing so to launch you further than you've ever gone.

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    • Thanks man. Altho I'm going through this, I'm focusing on school and working hard. And you're right, that's only going to help my future. I can't get a good future I have to earn it

    • It's good to hear that because in times like this, digging deeper and thinking more about the situations will make it worse, so try and stay on track with the more important things, ok? Things like this will only build your character and person as a whole, ultimately which will let you achieve whatever you want in life. Hope it's getting better for you and remember that there's support for you from many people on GaG!

  • So much emotion going on, sounds like a mix of hormonal and shitty parenting skills. But what do you need out of this? support?

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    • I don't even know to be honest :(

    • Heavy hormones, happens all the time, though most guys your age will not admit it. What your parents do is not your doing, the trick for you is to separate what they do with who you are and not blame for whats become of your situation.

    • I don't know man I just feel like it can never be fixed

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