Do you ever wonder why not me instead when a friend or family member dies?

In the past year my friend since grade school hung himself cause his girlfriend cheated on him, my other friend who goes to college with me got killed by a drunk driver, and my uncle from a heat attack and they were all very successful or going to be compared to myself who is kinda confused on what I'm doing with my life. In every case I thought why not me? I'm the one who is graduating with no idea what I want to do with my life and they were great students or professionals with a passion. It sucked but inthoufht it was over then yesterday the nicest kid in the department, president of the department, and a 4.0 honors student dropped dead on the basketball court in the rec centre and I can't help but wonder why am I still alive over these more worthy people who liked life mkre than myself.

Updates:
I thought not inthoufht

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