I didn't cry over a sad film. Does that make me weak?

I have watched a very sad film which has been recommended to me by my friend. He cried over the film and said he couldn't accept what the characters had been destined for.

Surprisingly, I didn't cry over it even though I admit I was deeply saddened. I just can't cry and be passionately carried away like the way he did. He was even outraged at how I managed to not cry even if the film is really sad.

Now I think something's wrong with me. People say people who cry are strong. Does that make people who don't cry weak?

Updates:
Thank you so much for the responses! I appreciate a lot 😊
The movie was Clannad. Like I said, it was sad all thoughout
Definitely a must-watch

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Not at all. Maybe you were just not so deep into the mindset of the movie.
    People who cry in movies/books, etc, usually place themselves into the minds of the characters, and imagine their whole life as a character in all details. By doing this, they are able to feel the emotions of the characters and sometimes a tear might pop up.

    Otherwise we don't feel so attached to those movies, or are in a different mindset, and it's just sad scenes like we watch in the news everyday and do nothing about it. It's about to do with both our state of mind while watching it, (also past experiences, and how recent they were that relate to the story) and the way the movie is presented. Some movies are master pieces in making people cry, others.. not so much. It's not so much about the story, as much as how it is delivered.

    Can you please tell us which movies they were? I'm curious here.

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    • It was only one and it was Clannad

    • Oh well... I'm not into anime. I guess it's easier to get to your feelings with real people maybe.. don't really know. But I know we can associate feelings with just about any character regardless of how it is represented.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's incredibly strong to be able to hold back tears it shows you are strong enough that you don't let small things bringyou down

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What Guys Said 4

  • Nope I would say the opposite I don't see why crying is strength just looks like you can't control your emotions to me. Try watching Earthlings it's a documentary I got sad but managed not to cry, see if you can cos it'll be tough.

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    • Oh Earthlings... I've never heard of that before but it looks interesting

    • Good luck, it was about as close as I've been to crying but even then I was just sad.

  • which movie did u watch?

    sophie's choice?

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    • Lol it was Clannad
      Sophie's Choice? What's that? Never heard of that one before

    • an extremely sad movie.

      did you not cry cuz people were around?

    • No I watched it alone and I just messaged him that I didn't cry and bam! He became curious and didn't seem to believe that I didn't cry. Thank you for asking me that

  • no, thats not so
    dont worry:)

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  • The idea of not crying over something makes a person weak is a way of shaming others for being different, and avoiding looking weak yourself. This is often why women, afraid of looking weak will accuse men of being weak for not having the same emotional reaction that a woman would be more likely to have. It is a way for these women to lift themselves up, while tearing men down for simply acting like a more stereotypical man. It sounds like you have bought into the myth that men and women should act like a stereotypical woman in order to avoid looking weak.

    There is a reason for gender stereotypes, but very few men and women will fit all of these stereotypes. Currently with our pro feminist culture, we have lifted feminine traits up to levels that get praised, and lowered masculine traits to be seen as character flaws. I believe this is why you may see yourself as weak simply for having a reaction that would be more masculine in nature. Especially if you are comparing yourself to a man that is showing a more feminine trait that is currently being praised as strength.

    Take a step back for a moment. It is just the way you feel about a single movie. This is just a single movie, and can not possibly show what kind of person you truly are based on how you react to it alone. Does crying or not crying during a movie, make you less competent as a person? Would you be less likely to protect a loved one that is in danger simply because you did or didn't cry? Of course not.

    Currently there is a big push to blur the lines between the genders, and instead of accepting that some women will have more masculine traits, and some men will have some feminine traits, but overall there is a pattern that makes men and women tend to act differently, we are instead being lied to and told that acting ways more typical to our genders is a sign of weakness. This is done to shame people into changing their behavior, and has no bases in reality. Women that want to stay home with their new babies are shamed for showing a typical woman trait, and guys are shamed for not crying at the drop of a hat. This attempt at social conditioning men is most likely the reason, you ever got the idea that not crying could possibly be a sign of weakness.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It's just a movie I wouldn't consider a true test of your strength so no it doesn't make you weak

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