My friend is 38 years old, he has a 44 year old (baby-mama) ---as they call it. (I hate the term, but it's the one he uses). He is unattracted to his baby mama because of her age. He made it clear to me he met her at her peak, and now in the looks department she has fallen off of the cliff. I guess, he hates the mature look. It makes me wonder, why did he decide to date a little older?
He has cheated on her with her best friend and even tried to cheat with me.
Anyway, this guy has known me since I was 20 years old. He says I still look the same as when he first met me. We are really good friends, and share a lot of deep information with each other. I advise him a lot, and he always tells me I am wise beyond my years.
He knows I am going through difficulties in my relationship, some of which I am uncertain of where it will lead me with the person I've been with for over 10 years. He asked me, what do I think about him (dating wise).
I was truthful, and let him know that I don't see him in that way. He let me know the rejection hurt him. I told him I feel so horrible, and that he's such a great friend but i can't see us together. He responded by telling me, if things don't work out with his baby mama the one person in the world he'd want to be with is me. He said he couldn't think of one bad thing to say about me.
Since then, he hasn't been acting like himself. Why ask for the truth if you can't handle it?
I like him as a person, but I'd do myself an injustice if I ever considered dating him. He smokes weed all day every day. He cheats. He still lives at home (has never ever moved out) and can't even provide for his own kid.
Most Helpful Guy
Your whole first paragraph listed huge red flags. By saying he was unattractive to his baby mama because of her age basically means he will leave you in 10-20 years. I personally think you shouldn't care about his intimate feelings at this point, keep him as a friend no matter what. Even if he says he is "changed"
"He has cheated on her with her best friend and even tried to cheat with me"
He is a super cheater on top of that, he cheated with HER best friend. Wow, thats crazy.
If i was a potential boyfriend for you i would actually tell you to cut him off cause he is relentless with his sexual targets. He is a threat to any relationship. You should probably be careful with who you call your friends (i didn't say cut him off but distance yourself a little cause y'all are too close).
38 hasn't move you RED FLAG, Smokes weed EVERY DAY (or at least most days) SUPER RED FLAG, can't provide for kid (WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU EVEN DATE THIS BOY).
For real, distance yourself a little (still be friends but this guy is trippin) because he is a bad influence.4
Most Helpful Girl
You are doing the right thing. You don't owe him anything. Hopefully, he can get over it and you can still be friends, if that is what you want. Personally, I don't think I could be friends with someone like that (smokes weed every day, cheats, doesn't provide for his kid...) There is definitely no way I would date someone like that and I don't think you should have to settle for that either. Also, the fact that he is leaving his "baby mamma" because her looks have faded. No way. What's stopping him from doing that to you down the road?0