My lifecoach suggested the cause might be down to too much stress from work, I have taken his advice without any improvement. I have been having more down time than up and it just feels like there's no way out.
I will (try to) keep it brief. I had lived abroad for several years before settling down in Asia to be close to my family. I'm the oldest child so my parents want me back to help them with the family's business (which I don't really like). I have been back for over 4 years now but still cannot get used to the life in my home country. Currently I have a great job (I work for someone else, not family) which comes with a lot of stress but manageable (to a certain degree). I just don't see myself living here and have been trying to move around. But every time i moved, my mother fell sick and i had to return. I live alone but still receive constant pressure from my family, relatives, even complete strangers for being single at 27. I date but I don't want to settle until I am ready. I don't like children either.
Sometimes I just feel like dropping everything and moving to some unknown places and avoid all contacts with my family, but then it's selfish to do such thing.
I have constant panic attacks when the stress is too high, I smoke and drink quite a lot to calm myself down. I feel like I'm always at the edge of bursting into tears and I have suicidal thoughts.
I don't have many friends because I don't get on well with people in my city, their way of thinking is very different from mine. And even those friends I think that are close don't understand my problems. They always joke about "first world problems", say my life is great with a good job, good family background, decent pay and big inheritance. I feel trapped. What should i do?
Most Helpful Guy
Do you have counselors in your area... it would help to talk through your feelings and try to come up with solutions.
It is possible to be very rich and miserable. What is happening is the way you are living, which is controlled by external forces in your family, doesn't align with your value system and what you really want. So you are living in conflict with what you desire. That or the people you are around are really not very nice and it isn't a supportive but stressful environment.
For example, your family values getting married (which translates as being only possible at a young age in Asia) and you don't value it. p. s. in other countries you can get married at much higher ages.
those are initial thoughts.
you can also read "Change your life in 7 days" to get some ideas on how to discover your values and ways to destress in your environment on your own. It should help as an escape and de-stress.1
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Most Helpful Girl
I know how you feel, I feel trapped too. I have cerebral palsy, aspergers & psoriasis, I also have depression, bad mood swings, anxiety & sometimes I hyperventilate, I find things to do to make me happy like listening to music, doing my art, singing & other stuff. If you want to talk, you can message me.1
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