Im bored. Someone tell me a joke or tell me how your day is going?

Inspired by @Ginnyweasley97 's question yesterday. I am pretty bored it's been a long day so I just want to know how everyones day was or tell a joke. Or just talk about something interesting you did today. Just let your mind roill on.


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  • A doctor is making his rounds through the hospital when he stops to talk to the head nurse. The nurse says , "By the way, doctor, did you know you've got your thermometer stuck behind your ear?" The doctor feels around his ear and says, "Great, some asshole has my pen."

    Two strangers met on a golf course and the topic came around to occupations. The first man said he was in real estate, pointing out the condominiums he sold and lived in in the distance. The second man said he was a professional assassin. When the first was skeptical, the second took a tube and some other items and assembled a high-powered rifle right there on the spot. The first man asked to see the rifle and was indeed impressed with the high powered scope. "I can see into my apartment from here... there's my wife.. and she's in there with another man!" Furious, he asked the assassin how much he charged for his services. "$1000 a bullet", he said. The first guy said "I'll buy two. Use the first to shoot my wife, and the second to shoot the guy's balls off!" The assassin took a look through the scope and said "If you hang on a minute, I can save you $1000."

    A pastor gets up on Sunday morning. Beautiful day, so he decides to call in sick from church and go golfing. God and the angels see this and the angels take umbrage that a man of God would skip church for golf. God says, "You're right, I need to deal with this."
    Next shot the pastor makes goes ricocheting off several trees, rebounds off the clubhouse and goes slamming into the cup for a hole-in-one. Angels go, "Boss, I thought you were going to punish the guy." God responds, "I did. Who can he tell about this?"
    regation at home to get to know them before Sunday's service. All goes well until he comes to one house. The preacher knocks, and rings the door bell, but even though the lights are on and activity can be seen inside, no one answers the door. Exasperated, but deciding it's best not to bother them, the preacher takes a card out of his pocket and writes "Revelation 3:20"note Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. on it, before slipping it under the door and leaving. Come Sunday, after finishing his sermon at the local church, the preacher finds the card in his collection basket, and sees that the resident of the house has written "Genesis 3:10"note I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked..

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    • I like thebone. about the doctor haha.

    • A new preacher comes to a small town on a Friday, and decides it would be a good idea to visit each member of his congregation at home to get to know them before Sunday's service. All goes well until he comes to one house. The preacher knocks, and rings the door bell, but even though the lights are on and activity can be seen inside, no one answers the door. Exasperated, but deciding it's best not to bother them, the preacher takes a card out of his pocket and writes "Revelation 3:20"note Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. on it, before slipping it under the door and leaving. Come Sunday, after finishing his sermon at the local church, the preacher finds the card in his collection basket, and sees that the resident of the house has written "Genesis 3:10"note I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked..
      sorry those last two muffled together

What Girls Said 2

  • I was being an idiot and forgot to CC someone in an email so I missed my phone interview today and had to get it rescheduled. Not a very good first impression.

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  • Though I had already replied to this question, weird.

    Anyways I suck at telling jokes but my day went fine. Had to wake up at 5am to help my family since we got chickens today. So I've mostly just been extremely sleepy.

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What Guys Said 5

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