Religion is being forced upon me, and can I just get advice?

My parents asked me to come to the mosque and I'm going, I'm listening to the lectures. I went again today to a women's gathering at my mosque and they talked about Ramadan there.

I love being able to talk to people but I could not concentrate on anything. Anytime I thought about how my parents don't want to accept that I don't believe I God, I want to burst out crying. So I went into the bathroom and washed my face, so I don't look an idiot in front of anyone.

I honestly don't know what to do at this point. I don't feel strong at all. I can't sleep anymore at night either.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Unfortunately there isn't much you can do until you have the means to live away from your family. I understand how overbearing it can be just from my extended family but it is harder when it's your immediate family. You're a strong young woman so I know you can persevere. Feel free to message me anytime you want to vent too.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Are they going to disown you or something if you don't go? You're 24, so they really shouldn't have any say in what you do, or if you choose not to believe. I get that it can be tough, though.

    Try to talk to them about it again, and include how their lack of acceptance about who you are is negatively affecting your emotional and physical health.

    Also, even when you go to the mosque, remember that in your heart and mind you don't believe in any of it, and that will be true regardless of where you are, so don't let going there and listening to it affect you. I had to go to church for a while after I stopped believing, and I just thought of it as being told nice (or boring) stories, participating in some harmless rituals, and interacting with people.

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What Guys Said 15

  • You're 24, you say you don't go and you don't go. They can't force you. I know that situation in your house can get serious for a while, but eventually they'll have to accept it or at least learn how to live with it.

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  • I'm sorry this is a difficult time for you. I'm not the right person to advise you on this but you have my GAG friend support. :)

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  • It's hard to give advice since you're muslim and they tend to be more conservative and harsh towards people who have come to their senses.

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  • Not much you can do really unless you are independent. Only advise anyone is going to be able to give you is find a decent job, stand on your own feet, move out and live your life as you see fit.

    There really is no other solution. "Devouts" in any religion have this mentality others must comply to their way of thinking. You're not going to be able to change thier minds if you still haven't.

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  • I chose to follow you, because i have been there and i can tell you its never easy. You have to be steadfast. Eventually your parents will accept you. Have a sit down chat with them, Explain to them your beliefs. Explain your feelings and reasons. I personally have many, but mine will likely differ from yours.

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  • What sort of advice do you need? What can I do for you?

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  • You're 24. As long as you don't live with them just don't do what they say. If you do live with them just go to the mosque or whatever. Just because you have to go there doesn't mean you have to believe in god. And try to move out as soon as possible.

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  • What I don't understand is, if you cannot force someone to convert to Islam, how can you force someone to stay Muslim.

    Your problem is that you are torn between trying not to hurt your parents and your own disbelief.

    You have to just tell them that you don't to be forced to go to the mosque. Girls are not required to go to the mosque anyway.

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  • : (
    I hurts to hurt our parents. It's a really shitty feeling. For them we do stupid things to ourselfs.

    Don't force yourself... don't give them hopes...
    But please, give them a hug. Always the hug.

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  • All you can really do is study some religion and see what you agree with most. If you don't agree with any, then don't identify with one. It's up to you and only you. But I would at least study some before you just completely deny everything.

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    • It doesn't work that way. When someone concludes that God isn't real, it's not a choice or even a decision, it's a conclusion based on the available evidence. Sort of like concluding that the Earth is 4 billion years old, not 6,000. Once someone reaches that conclusion it would take new evidence to change their mind. People who don't believe in God are unable to follow any religion that practices prayer. Anyway, her parents are Muslim and I don't think they would be any happier if she adopted any other religion.

  • Convert to Christianity? 😆

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  • Move somewhere else?

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  • There's nothing to do. You don't believe. That doesn't mean you can't pretend to.

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  • fuck islam religion of peace making girls cry.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I know how you're feeling. My family is very similar. And while I do believe in the existence of God, I often question and disagree with what my church teaches. Finding out what you believe or don't can be a very painful and scary experience. You must take it one step at a time and try not to be too hard on yourself. If you can, talk to someone you are close to. If you don't have anyone like that in your life, there are all sorts of online free counseling that can help you keep your head on. Heck, you can even talk to me if you need to vent. But I'm afraid that it ultimately falls on you. If you decide to tell your family and it is met with an undesirable response or one that causes you harm, it may be necessary to cut ties. Keeping silent may seem easier, but it will continue to tear you up inside. Like I said, the choice is yours. I wish you the best!

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  • Will they make you leave the home if you refuse to go?

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  • While I am not religious religion in a way was once forced on me. I was a kid at the time so I just listened but as I grew older and had more freedom I knew I would never be religious and its really no ones business as to why some are religious while others are not or dont believe in a god. If you really feel you dont want to be religious thats your choice. Maybe just talk to your family about it as calmly as possible.

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  • Muslims are a bit different... from what I know, they are a lot stricter about their beliefs than others. Unfortunately, you just have to be an adult and tell your parents no. No, I'm not going to Mosque. No, I don't believe in God. No, there's nothing you can do about it.

    There's not much else you can do.

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  • Just be honest and explain your reasons; it's the best you can do.
    My parents were also upset when I told the that I don't believe in the God of Abraham.

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  • My advice is to save up money make share you have a stable job and move out

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  • Have you straight up told them that you don't believe in a god?

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    • I have, they refuse to believe I'm telling the truth.

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    • I'm going to try whatever it takes. Thank you ☺️

    • No, problem. :)

      This is when you have to give them tough love and be blunt each time they try.

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