How to explain not me not being attached (buddhism)?

As some might know ancient Buddhist believe that "attachment is the root of all suffering" and that we must never grow attached to anything.

I live part of my life by this quote because when it comes to my friendships (platonic or otherwise) I never let myself get attached; I may love my friends to death and have a great time whenever I'm with them but I never get attached/ dependent/ reliant on them.

Some of my family thinks it's bad to live this way but I feel the opposite, how do I better explain it so they understand?


Most Helpful Guy

  • People who feel needs just can't understand people who don't have them. They think you must be dead inside and you can't make them see that really you are blissfully free.

    Ask them to imagine not needing food, never being hungry. You still enjoy food as much as anybody, maybe more but you no longer need it. Would that be taking something from you or would it be a gift? Would it make you free?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You explained it the way it is. I partly agree with your family, though. If you're not attached to someone... will you care if they disappear from your life? If you don't, do they really matter, and how can that be a strong love?

    I understand not getting attached to material things, but people? We're all inter-dependent and rely on each other in some ways, that's how we build and sustain communities. If you're outside of that, that seems lonely.

    • I don't think you need to be attached to love someone or to care if they were to leave you, you simply won't be as devastated, shattered, and destroyed as someone who were attached.

      People cause just as much suffering if not more suffering than material objects (or the lust for them) could ever produce, so I think people are included in that phrase.

      I think the difference between attachment and detachment is the internal separation from oneself and the world around them, and the realization that you are essentially all you have and all you need. We may WANT others but we don't need them.

    • Isn't the point to want for nothing, though? To reach a point where you're not desiring for anything? Not friendship? Not comfort? Not love? You're just content on your own. I don't know, there are some people I would want to feel devastated about if I lost, and if I didn't, I wouldn't feel as human.

      Your beliefs are your own, though, no worries. Didn't really mean to argue about it, just thought I'd give some insight into what your family might be thinking. I think you handle explaining it well-enough, but if you go on some websites they might give you better ways to phrase it. Wanting rather than needing is a good one, though personally I don't think that's really what they're teaching.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Tell them that it's not bad because you still love them and you can take care of yourself without being attached


What Girls Said 2

  • Their is differnce denominations of buddhism. But like you saying not being attached. Very few people, only munks practice actual buddhism. Frankly, buddhism makes no sense to me when i learned from a monk buddhism. Like whats the point of being reborn thousands of times before you get to heaven?

  • you can't really love someone and not have some level of attachment to them.