Should I be a surrogate for my best friend?

hi
i will begin with telling u about my situation with my best friend well my friend is gay and we have known each other ever since we meet in year 7 of school and we have been friends ever since well now my friend has been with his other half for well over 3 years now and they would like to start a family together using a donor egg and one of their sperm but they have asked me to carry the baby for them and i just don't know if i should do it or not so i am wondering what u guys all think

thank u for reading and i hope to hear from u soon thanks


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Most Helpful Girl

  • While this would be extremely rewarding, consider these things also:

    When you find out if the procedure worked, you're going to be excited... and pregnant! So for 9 months you will have a life growing in you who is hearing your voice and responding to you. You lay a way baby doesn't like, they push on you. Certain music will make them squirm in there. Thise are things you get attached to.

    The first ultrasound when you hear their little heart beating will bring you to tears because you're so happy, and watching them grow in there and seeing them move is one of the best feelings in the world.

    Pregnancy is hard. Normal healthy pregnancy is hard. Its nausea/vomitting/exhaustion/weight loss and gain/insomnia. If it's not "normal" you can have hyperemisis where you vomit non stop, it's absolutely miserable and quickly puts you in the hospital. And we assume pregnancy will be healthy many times, some people are lucky. More than we think are not. And pregnancy loss is world shattering.

    There really is something to that motherly bond, and while you're not the mother, there will be 9 months of bonding and you don't even realize how strong that bond already is until it's threatened.

    Think about all of those things before you decide. I think it would be a very selfless thing to do for them, and very rewarding to give someone so much joy. Just consider everything before deciding. Good luck!

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    • that is what i am trying to do and i have been thinking about it over and over again

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    • Oh yeah. At least here you can. I got to watch my best friend have her son. As long as they are not in the way it should be fine.

    • oh thanks and yes we have put everything in place for the procedure so fingers crossed it all works out

What Guys Said 3

  • The hard bit will be handing the baby over once it's born. You will grow attached to it during the pregnancy.

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  • y'kno how u tell a potential dog owner to get a rescue instead of seeing a breeder... perhaps your friend should do the same thing

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  • its not easy to carry a baby, its freaking hard and very tough that you can't even imagine.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Do YOU want to be a surrogate for your best friend?

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    • Honestly, if you feel you have to ask strangers on a site like this I think you're hoping we'll say no or at least convince you you should do it so I don't think you should.

    • maybe but i was asking on this site to get opinions

  • Either way you view it this is a huge decision to make and ultimately it is your decision alone to make. Whenever I have a difficult desicion I weigh the pros and find and then base my decision on that.

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