In what way would you raise your children differently than your parents, and in what ways would raise them the same?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • My mom was a good parent in the sense that she wasn't too overbearing. Instead of breathing down our necks, she let us all have a reasonable amount of freedom, and allowed us to learn trough trial and error, rather than demanding that we do what SHE thought was best for us.

    But with 4 kids, she didn't give any of us very much individual attention. Especially since she had to work constantly to support te whole family financially since my dad wasn't around.

    When i was younger, i didn't feel like i got enough attention from my mom, and it constantly upset me. And i think that due to lack of attention when i was younger, it caused me to crave it even more when i grew up. But in my teen years, i began to appreciate her loose and lenient methods of parenting.

    To answer yor question, if be loose and lenient like my mother was, and allow my children to learn what's best for them on their own. But i would also make sure i gave my children more attention when younger than my mom gave to my siblings and I - so that my children won't be as emotionally dependent on others as they grow up.

    I think all of that would be so much easier if i could find a job with low hours, a wife who i know will stick by me, and if i have only one kid, so that my focus is undivided.

    Also, this is all assuming I even have any kids. I'm still trying to decide. Sometimes i think it'd be so much easier to just not have kids.

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    • The last part, I think that too sometimes. But then I think I might regret it in the future if I didn't decide to have children.

    • Personally I'd say two kids cus I loved my dad I really do, but at the time my age was friends and a lot of my friends ended up being backstabbers. By the time I was 13/14 I was better and I have a cousin 5 years younger. But I always felt as if I was alone. Growing up I found it hard to make friends cus I was so family oriented.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Differently:
    - I wouldn't ever spank/hit them, esp not with a belt.. none of that
    - I wouldn't yell at them in an intimidating way nor called them names out of frustration
    - I will not judge them and let them they can trust me without ever feeling they have to hide stuff from me
    - I will not allow my kids to see horrible arguments/fights between my spouse and me
    - I'll apply natural consequences and be creative when it comes to punishing whatever they did wrong

    The same:
    - Tell them that if they fall, they should get up and move on... that it ain't the end of the world
    - Make sure they don't prioritize having a relationship to the point of them doing badly in school if a break-up happens; sure it's nice having a bf/gf but don't let it affect your life in general
    - Teach them about saving money for important stuff, such as college education or to buy an apartment in the future
    - Turn something positive out of something negative

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What Guys Said 13

  • This is what I'd do different.

    To bully and be bullied I don't want my child part of this pussy generation. Were the weak stand tall

    My daughter j would raise tn be strong and iron will. I'd tell her she is the catch and she need toptove she better than everyone. don't trust men they will lie yo get what they want. and don't flock in big groups of girls cause majority of them will try to take u down. I teach her to under stand of the mind of the world and men. Never date beneath u only same level or above. and don't show weakness.

    My son I will tell the same understand the mind of the world and the mind of a woman. I need him to be compassionate and vicious at the same time.

    I need him to have the heart of a Angel but the action of a devil. Never let your friend down. and do what u wanna do in life. Lastly to surpass the mimits of his father.

    As and the same give them the freedom to talk to me and aslo instill respect and fear.

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  • Differently: I'd give them an allowance and chores to do. They'd only get as much as they completed. And whenever they wanted something (like to buy) I'd make them pay for it. In this way I'd teach them from an early age how to budget their money, how to save their money, and the value of money.
    Same: I'm gonna go all controversial here, I'd spank my kids when they're bad and I'd use a bar of soap when they have a potty mouth. I think there's a clear difference between spanking your kid and beating them. The big difference, I think, is your state of mind when you do it. If you're angry you shouldn't spank them, you're too likely to cross the line. But if you do it in clear and, yes, loving state of mind, it's not abuse, because you won't go over board.

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  • I wouldn't. I would raise them like I was raised

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  • I dont hit them. I dont judge them and i let them know they can talk to me about anything. I was battered as a kid with belt buckles and all sorts. Id never do that. I won't be a dictator like my dad was to me. I am too protective of them. If they disappear out of sight for 2 minutes i go crackers.

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  • I wouldn't verbally abuse / yell at my children. My dad thought he was doing us a favor by yelling instead of spanking, but really all it did was make us have long term negative responses to conflict.

    I want to discipline my children in a constructive way where they learn their lesson, and understand WHY they needed the lesson without having to be yelled at about it.

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  • The same way, as in "freedom to choose".

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  • I would raise them differently by being more receptive to their feelings but raise them similarly by utilizing real discipline opposed to this New Age hands-free no spanking parenting which leads to ADHD and children being more akin to monkeys.

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    • I have raised two kids. With a clear set of boundaries, and with mutual respect. In these 24 years I've only spanked one kid once because she couldn't breath due to being hysterical. You are an asshole for allready making plans for hitting your kids. It will not make them respect you, only fear you. People like you shouldn't have children.

    • @Mesmaeker Oh fuck off I'm the oldest sibling who helped my parents raise two younger ones so I know a thing or two about children. The fact that you are unwilling to hit your kids only demonstrates how selfish you are, because you care more about preserving your own moral high ground than giving your children what they need.

    • I sure hope you're trolling. Otherwise i pity your kids..

  • I would do it about the same

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  • I'd make no changes to the way my parents raised me.

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  • By actually spending time and teaching them things.

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  • I wouldn't beat them abandon them or abuse them sexually and mentally.

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  • I don't know.. I'm just worried about getting a girlfriend lol the kids talk is wayy later

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  • I would treat them as equal, with their own mind and capability to think for themselves without dictating each and every fucking little detail of their live.

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What Girls Said 18

  • I would be more open with them, i'd make sure they know they can be honest with me and they won't be as badly punished, i won't use guys to be able to have food/a house, i won't beat my child, i'll listen to them. I'll support them in being who they are while trying to help improve them

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  • I wouldn't throw things, yell in their faces then carelessly apologize later still denying things. I wouldn't stand around like its no big deal like my mother and i wouldn't use my once sick kids status as a scapegoat constantly. Nor would i use all my kids hard earned money for excessive electronics and luxury we can't afford nor do we even need. And finally i wouldn't get mad at my kid for never asking for anything.

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  • different: show pda with my husband, i've never seen my parents kiss. I don't know if they r good at hiding pda or they just don't kiss/have sex. it weirded me out bc i thought they didn't love each other

    same: same style of punishment/reward system and same amount of educational pressure

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  • I would raise them the same but just give them slight freedom. At the moment i'm speaking of future children but now i have 0% freedom at the age of 17 and it literally kills me because opportunities over opportunities goes down the drain and its been killing my soul with every piece.

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  • I'd raise them with their father in the same house as them. My parents were married when I was a kid but my father worked in another city and it was difficult to see him every day. I would want my children to see both their parents every day. Other than that, I'd do pretty much the same. My mother was a good mother to me.

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  • I would raise them 100% different, give them love and let them know that they are my everything, I would try not to yell, and never ever put my hands on them, and give them a health place to grow up and show them the love in the world instead of hate!

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  • I would raise them as my parents have raised me.

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  • Way more open to the western culture than my middle eastern parents. Teach them to value themselves though, just like mine have taught me.

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  • I have raised them mostly the same, with the exception of church on Sundays. We were forced to go on Sunday, no matter what. I let my kids choose whether or not they want to go, and also what church they would like to go to. I will probably never know whether I made the right decision or not. But both of my kids seem happy, stable, intelligent and well-advised. I just have to hope for the best now; they are almost grown so it's too late to change anything.

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  • I would be more liberal and I would raise them the same in the aspect of showing how important it is to study

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  • I would do EVERYTHING differently. Having the parents I do taught me what kind of parent I shouldn't be.

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  • I would dicipline them, my mom lets us get away with to much and I have changed for the better since I saw the way my mom was being treated by my younger sister I got tired of listening to my sisters being rude and not listening ti my mom so i would dicipline them way more

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  • I would get them to be more involved and better socialized at a younger age

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  • Most things would stay the same

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  • i want to raise my kids the exact way i was raised. They were a perfect balance of friends/parents

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  • I would teach them manners and respect and guide them but give them the freedom to learn from their mistakes

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  • I would not let bad behavior off the hook for one child and then punish another.

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  • RAISE THEM By comparing what your parents were like and how you could teach them better. Like don't give them what they want.

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