Ok im sorry that this is not right or thare may be words spelled wrong its only a first draft but what do you think of my story?

its not the full story just a part i cut out. I picked up a hand full of snow and shoved it in his face o shut up u ass he wiped the snow off his face shhh did u hear that Liam u are not going to scare us again said Kayden with a scowl. no im series be quite u don't hear that we all went so silent we all most stop breathing it was a whimpering sound coming form som trees a little deeper into the forest what is that said Caitriona in a broken up hoarse voice i think it's a women crying the well lets not stand around talking abut it said Kaydence lets go see what it is so we all walked behind lime till we saw a girl whipping in the shadow all by he self she was a very pretty girl her skin was pale as snow her long blonde hair was put in beautiful ringlets framing her face she wore a wedding dress with beading and a long train that moved quite ghostly in the night air she held bright red rose in her hands she looked up at us tears running down her face her eyes were a un-earthy blue i had never seen such sorrow in someone's eyes before she looked more like a porcelain doll than a person Liam walked toward her why are you crying madam he said in a polite tone as he always did to his elders holding out his hand to her if you come with us we will help u get home he said to the women?

Updates:
loud as if it wore angry with us the flowers in the women's hand once a bright red now a withered brown her fingernails grow long and sharp like the claws on a cat her dressed turn black as she ripped off the dress at her knees her eyes once
blue and filled with sorrow now blood red filled with hate she now had a twisted smile upon her face showing he long sharp teeth she let out ha laugh but there was no humour behind it she grabbed Liam's arm and pulling

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Fix the grammar, the spelling, the paragraphs, and maybe someone will read the actual content. This is just painful to look at.

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