I'm going to be a dad, and I'm panicking. Help?

i got my friend pregnant , and when the baby's born she's moving and leaving the baby with me. And I don't know what to do.. I'm freaking the fuck out.
I wanted to go to college, should I just forget that for now? Or should I still go?
I live with my mom, I don't think there's enough room for a baby. Should I start saving for my own place? But yet I don't think I could take care of the baby by myself.
Sorry for all the questions, I'm just absolutely fucking terrified

Updates:
I'm about to get in a boat, sail away, and never ever come back. Bye guys 😕

1|1
19|17

Most Helpful Girl

  • Take a deep breath. Try to calm your nerves. An anxious mind is not going to help you see solutions.

    First of all, she cannot just leave her baby with you for good. I believe you can go after her legally because you didn’t create that baby on your own so you shouldn’t have to support him/her on your own. Because you are so young, see if your mother would be willing to help you out while you figure out a financial plan. Grandparents can make a world of difference when it comes to little ones. This is also a great time to seek help of any siblings. A really great option for guys your age who end up having an unexpected child on the way and have to put college on hold and instead work a ton of hours to scrape enough funds to support a human life is military. I don’t know how you feel about the military or if you’d be interested in joining but that’s a for sure way to make enough money to take care of a child, buy your own place, have free full healthcare for you and the child (babies and children get sick all the time), and more. There’s a military program where you sign a contract and they pay for you to go to school then after finishing your degree for two or three years, you go to boot camp etc but by that time you are automatically an officer or lieutenant. If you do not choose to do that, then you are just going to have to do your best to find a good paying job and tackle the life of being a student and a father. Get whatever government assistance and aid you can to help you out with daycare. If you choose adoption, make sure the agency is credible because I recently heard about adoption agencies that are really working with satanic occults and they give the babies to Satanic individuals who sacrifice them and drink their blood.

    0|1
    0|0

Most Helpful Guy

  • Okay, what is done is done. I imagine how terrifying it must be at 18, but calm down and think. The baby will be your child, so it's your responsibility to take care of him/her, but it's her responsibility too (I don't know if women pay for child support in the US, but if they do I think she should pay it). If you put the baby for adoption maybe you'll regret later when you're older.

    It's not the end of the world. I have a cousin who had a son at 16 and she was able to study and to graduate. Just things are more difficult. You still have many life opportunities. Talk to your parents, they can help you to raise the child even though it's your responsibility, you don't have to do it alone.

    0|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 18

  • I would definitely file for full custody just to protect you, even if you know she's a great person or whatever, people change. Protect you and baby first. Then college doesn't have to end. Look into programs through your state that offer help with childcare, and being a single parent who probably doesn't make much will qualify you for tons of grants I'm sure. You can go to school part time, 2 or 3 days a week and the state will help you pay daycare. Your life hasn't ended, it's just taken a different path than you expected. A hard, but rewarding path. It seems big now, but it's little things man. You can do it. Make a plan and stick to it.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Easy. If you want just put the baby up for adoption. If the mom doesn't want it do you want the kid to grow up and one day and know that? I realize kids can be expensive as hell so adoption is probably best. At your age you barely have any job options. You can even leave the baby at a safe haven anonymously right after it's born. Like at a hospital. But from what I've heard the safe haven law is for newborns up to a few weeks or even just a week old depending on the state so you'll have to make a quick decision.

    0|3
    0|0
    • And I think any family is allowed to take the baby to the safe haven since it's an anonymous drop off. So your mom could take him or her for you.

    • Show All
    • She pretty much automatically gets custody even if they are married

    • @Intraluminal Yeah moms do get it most of the time.

  • Start saving up. Don't think about the bad part. Think positive. You'll have a daughter or son that's going to look up to you for being there through thick and thin. A child is not an error. You knew what you were doing. Soo.. Just calm down for now

    0|1
    0|0
  • If she doesn't want it. And you don't why not adoption? She can't just dump it on you for a start.
    still go to college. Just part time. And even at your mums sure you'll just have to clear out room for a crib then save til they're big enough you need to

    0|0
    0|0
  • Put it up for adoption.

    0|2
    0|0
    • Dude if you keep it then your life is 100% fuck and you have NO future at all and will have to throw away any hopes and dreams you had. That kid will drain every. last. drop. of life out of you until it moves out at the age of 18.

    • Show All
    • So um how do I do that? Sorry if that's a really dumb question but I don't know how to adult

    • @asker I wouldn't know how to do that either but I would just try to look up any kind of info about that online and ask anyone who might have done that kind of thing.

  • Oi, you're fucked, aren't you? I'll give ya some advice in the morning, I'm shattered and I need some sleep.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Wait, wtf, she's just dumping the baby on you? She can't do that.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Well she's going to college and she's moving across the country. And she said she doesn't want the baby to interrupt with her studies and stuff.

    • Um, she has a kid, she can't just 'move' across the country. She needs to grow up.

  • Himmm i think
    You leave mom's home and
    You stay your girlfriend and your baby another home 😊😊

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm sorry for your situation, that a VERY irresponsible women.
    Yes you should still go to college for sure it will be tough It will in better both you and the babies future ask you mom if she can help in anyway

    0|0
    0|0
  • File for child support.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Have you considered abortion?
    What do you mean, "leaving it with me" ? Ad in leaving you and the kid behind and never returning?

    0|0
    0|0
    • She's against abortion and I don't really like it either
      She's going to Florida for college and she's going to be there for like 5 years

    • So she's expecting you to take care of a child you made together? Seems like not the best girl. What about adoption? There's a lot of couples that are willing to take in a child in need.

  • Adoption.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Put the baby up for adoption and make the babies life better and yours

    0|1
    0|0
  • Have you gotten a paternity test done yet?
    If not, what are you waiting for.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Why is she just leaving the baby with you?

    0|1
    0|0
    • She's going to college across the country and she's been planning this since 9th grade so she doesn't want the baby to interrupt her plans

    • Show All
    • what about your plans dude? Why should her plans be more important than yours? Either abortion or adoption, and next time be more careful.

  • Adoption is the best bet. If you don't want to do that, then ask your parents or family to help you

    0|0
    0|0
  • Oh geez well that does not sound like a good situation. Did you tell your mom yet? I'm not sure what your financial situation is but I'm sure your mom would help you with the baby. If that's really not an option, the only thing left is adoption

    0|0
    0|0
    • I haven't told my mom yet because I just don't know how to say it. I'm scared at what people's reactions would be ://

  • Adoption is an option. Just saying.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 16

  • If you'd like you can sell it to me. I'll name it Joe and promise to teach it to grow turnips I'll also teach it to read and write very well, and will see to it that sex perverts never come near. He'll eat good meals and always have a cookie for dessert.

    0|2
    0|0
  • Try not to freak out so much. I'm sure your mom will help you and once you get the hang of it, it's really not that difficult. It's a lot of work but not complicated work. You need to talk to your girlfriend about leaving. She's needs to be there for the baby too, it's her responsibility just as much as yours. I think you should still go to college even if you have to delay. I wouldn't worry about getting your own place right now unless your mom doesn't let you stay. It would be good for you both if you're able to stay. Message me if you want. I've had a daughter and I practically did everything for the first 3 months cuz my wife was injured while she had her. Ill answer any questions or anything, just let me know. Just remember, take a deep breath and try to relax. I know it's scary but it really will be ok.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Take a parenting course at a local high school, church, library, or hospital. They include infant CPR. Many places will throw in child safety equipment. You'll have to stay home. You can still go to school, but your school has to make sense in terms of money, so go to a state college or junior college. You'll be fine.

    0|2
    0|0
  • slap her ass on child support..

    0|3
    0|0
  • Change your name and move far away.

    0|1
    0|0
  • You can still go to college. Just know your future is a better future for you and your child. It's ok to be terrified when you have to be responsible for a child. Just get your family support and go yo school.
    If you need government assistance then, apply for it until you get on your feet.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I would put the child up for adoption, it would be best for both you and the child (I don't give a shit about the mother).

    0|0
    0|0
  • That's not a question to ask stranger on the internet boyo

    0|2
    0|0
    • I don't really want to tell anyone in real life yet

    • They are going to find out anyways.. worst thing you can do is ask strangers that don't even know a thing about you. Talk to your parents or someone you trust

  • If she doesn't want to put it up for adoption and leaves it with you, make sure you have legal custody, and then put it up for adoption.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Make sure she signs legal documents giving you 100% custody so that you will not need her consent to put the baby up for adoption.

    • Well she's coming back. But not for like 5-6 years

    • Save your money. Talk to your mom.

  • Damn dude that's harsh and yeah maybe ask your mom for help so that way you can continue going to college

    0|0
    0|0
  • an 18 year old father to be... What you REALLY needed/need was a HUGE lifestyle change.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Congrats! Well you two should have put more thought into you actions.

    0|0
    0|0
  • if u dont want it then leave it with her, you dont have to be involved with any of it

    0|0
    0|0
  • Tell her to take it with her, if she has family over there? Or adoption

    0|0
    0|0
  • I thought you were gay?
    You got 9 months to figure it out.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Well I label myself as gay. But I'm kinda bi I guess. I was telling my friend how I never had sex with a girl and that I wanted to try it, and she was like "You can try it with me if you want" and stuff happened

    • Show All
    • Why does she not want to be involved? I'd be like let's raise this together

    • She just was planning to move to Florida and go to college there since 9th grade, and I think she just didn't want to stop that plan

  • You are fucked either way !!! Should have thought about this before.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...