I've become a pathetic mess.
I just keep crying all the time, ever since school stopped working out I've become... like nothing.
I wake up at odd times, I sleep at odd times. I actually don't know what exactly has happened.
It's like I've lost the will to be competitive.
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Sounds like depression, I've been there and lost all will to do anything and had nightmares all the time. Go see your doctor and tell them what's happening, maybe they will send you to a psychologist or they will prescribe you with some anti-depressants.0