Is spanking ok?

I'm black, and growing up I was spanked, I don't really think it's a big deal but apparently it's socially unacceptable, well at least for some parts of society. I get it some people don't wanna inflict corporal punishment on their kids and that's totally fine it's your decision, but i'm just wondering what do you do when you can't agree, you know, coming from different backgrounds and stuff, because as you may know most black people don't have a problem with spanking their kids, on the other side most white people are totally against it from what I've seen. Now I don't know about you but i'm keeping up with the media and frankly I don't like what I see and I assure you that I will not hold back if my kid gets out of line.
Regarding marriage and making a family I'm down to do that with anyone (I'm talking about race here) but I don't really want anyone or anything getting in the way of me raising my kid, obviously I know i'm not the child's only parent and it's not just my decision but still, I really don't feel like arguing over such an issue I want things to go my way. I'm probably being selfish but you can't blame me I'm not a very... respectable? person, I have no idea how to obtain authority, I'm just too nice, but I don't want that to be a repercussion on my kids and you know what they say "Prevention is better than cure" so basically that's my only option here (it's not but I've decided it is ).
So how do I talk to my "husband" about it? (I'm more worried about white people, I don't want you calling social services cause I wanted to raise my kid a certain way or threaten our marriage)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i was raised with hickory switches steel bristled brushes and shoes thrown at me so i can't say i know what a normal spanking was lol. but i can say i respect people more now but im not sure if it was from how i was punished or if i just dont want to treat others how i was raised.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all, everybody seems to have a different definition of what they call spanking.

    I call spanking when a parent repeatedly smacks a child's butt as a punishment dealt after the "bad" action has already been stopped.

    Like for instance, a 4yr old throws a tantrum. I think you can be stern with a 4 year old without physically striking them. Srsly can people not restrain and calm down a whiny toddler? They have to beat the kid?

    Even worse would be if the kid has been reprimanded and the bad action stopped, but now the parent decides to spank them after the fact to try and bolster their point. I'm sorry but i call that bad parenting. By that point the discipline has been dealt and the hitting is nothing more than them making themselves feel more powerful over a fucking toddler.

    By the time a kid is 6 I'd say they are capable of being talked to and explained the reason why an action is good or bad. Hitting them repeatedly for punishment I think is redundant. At the most ONE light slap to regain attention, but that's not what I call spanking.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Physical abuse is for those who lack patience, intelligence and/or a vocabulary.

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  • It depends on people not race. My father is white and he spanked me too when I'm a child. I won't do it for my children, but I don't hate him because of this. He wanted me to stronger. That is all.

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  • No. Violence is never a solution to a problem.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Hell yes it's okay.
    More than okay. Kids definitely deserve it... not all, but let's be honest - most.

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  • Latinas also grow up being spanked in their years. Even so, I've turned against it during my early adulthood years.

    I think there are other ways (tools) of getting your points across without relying on a hand or household objects to hit a child into submission and made them cry. They aren't crying or being sad because of them knowing it was wrong but only because you hit them.

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  • I think it's fine

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  • Just have these kinds of conversations with him before you have any kids.

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  • Eh, it depends. You gotta find the right punishment for the child. Sometimes spanking won’t work on a child but if you take away their video games for a week, they’ll straighten up or if you make them scrub the toilet until it’s squeaky clean, then they’ll never misbehave again. I have an ethnic mama so I got my share of spankings and I turned out just fine. However, there are some cases where kids will be manipulative and dramatic and pretend they were actually abused then before you know it, their parent is serving jail time with a blemished record and they’re not allowed to live with them. It’s tricky. A good friend of mine, she and her husband don’t believe in spanking and their five year old is a little asshole because he hasn’t had good, strict disciplinarian. He knows they’re just gonna talk to him for a minute, ask him to say sorry, then hug him so he never really worries about punishment. I’ve literately seen him wild out and kick/punch his dad because a lovely, healthy meal was ready and he wanted to continue playing video games (for the 4th hour -_- ) . They’re a white couple. I hate to say it, but sometimes the stereotype is true when white people don’t want to spank their kids or enforce strict discipline and their kids are little disrespectful assholes who have no boundaries.

    Anyhow, you really just have to figure out what discipline is best for him. If the husband isn’t cool with spankings, then don’t overstep that boundary because he’ll feel disrespected.

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  • No it's not ok and in my country it is illegal and considered as child abuse.

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