I'm black, and growing up I was spanked, I don't really think it's a big deal but apparently it's socially unacceptable, well at least for some parts of society. I get it some people don't wanna inflict corporal punishment on their kids and that's totally fine it's your decision, but i'm just wondering what do you do when you can't agree, you know, coming from different backgrounds and stuff, because as you may know most black people don't have a problem with spanking their kids, on the other side most white people are totally against it from what I've seen. Now I don't know about you but i'm keeping up with the media and frankly I don't like what I see and I assure you that I will not hold back if my kid gets out of line.
Regarding marriage and making a family I'm down to do that with anyone (I'm talking about race here) but I don't really want anyone or anything getting in the way of me raising my kid, obviously I know i'm not the child's only parent and it's not just my decision but still, I really don't feel like arguing over such an issue I want things to go my way. I'm probably being selfish but you can't blame me I'm not a very... respectable? person, I have no idea how to obtain authority, I'm just too nice, but I don't want that to be a repercussion on my kids and you know what they say "Prevention is better than cure" so basically that's my only option here (it's not but I've decided it is ).
So how do I talk to my "husband" about it? (I'm more worried about white people, I don't want you calling social services cause I wanted to raise my kid a certain way or threaten our marriage)
Most Helpful Guy
i was raised with hickory switches steel bristled brushes and shoes thrown at me so i can't say i know what a normal spanking was lol. but i can say i respect people more now but im not sure if it was from how i was punished or if i just dont want to treat others how i was raised.0
Most Helpful Girl
First of all, everybody seems to have a different definition of what they call spanking.
I call spanking when a parent repeatedly smacks a child's butt as a punishment dealt after the "bad" action has already been stopped.
Like for instance, a 4yr old throws a tantrum. I think you can be stern with a 4 year old without physically striking them. Srsly can people not restrain and calm down a whiny toddler? They have to beat the kid?
Even worse would be if the kid has been reprimanded and the bad action stopped, but now the parent decides to spank them after the fact to try and bolster their point. I'm sorry but i call that bad parenting. By that point the discipline has been dealt and the hitting is nothing more than them making themselves feel more powerful over a fucking toddler.
By the time a kid is 6 I'd say they are capable of being talked to and explained the reason why an action is good or bad. Hitting them repeatedly for punishment I think is redundant. At the most ONE light slap to regain attention, but that's not what I call spanking.0