Do women make "Grand Romantic Gestures"?

Is the "Grand Romantic Gesture" a sexist trope? I was trying to think of an example of this term being applied to something done by a woman (as opposed to man) in love and I came up empty. Googling GRG got me pages upon pages of sites instructing guys how to act like romantic hunks but when I searched for the exact phrase "women making grand romantic gestures" I get one hit from a feminist blog. Thoughts?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I guess that depends on what your idea of grand is. Last year I searched until I found the perfect brass compass, had the latitude and longitude of the spot where my boyfriend and I had our first kiss engraved on the front of it, bought a plane ticket to the city we met at, flew there, and surprised him at the airport during one of his lay-overs. Then I gave him the compass I had bought him. We only had three hours together, but it was an awesome three hours. It was a surprise, just because.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Traditionally it's 100% a guys obligation to facilitate a GRG.

    BUT, for my senior prom my date gave me a cookie that said "prom?" with frosting... that was the most romantic gesture a girl has ever done for me, and it was a mind-blower!

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What Girls Said 26

  • i think it's less "searchable" because it's the norm for a woman to consistently be romantic... "grand romantic gestures" are a big deal within men because they're just... less romantic consistently. at least from what i can tell. hate to generalize on this.

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  • I am totally up for grand romantic gestures. It's just harder to do for guys, I think, because they're not as into teddy bears and flowers as we are.

    My version of a romantic gesture is cooking or baking something for him lol. I show my love with food!

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  • I often make romantic gestures, but I think men don't interpret gestures necessarily as romantic, I think they more just categorize them as "that was a nice thing to do" or "that's awesome, thanks". I bought my boyfriend a guitar worth $500 once when we were at a music shop and he found one he fell in love with but couldn't afford it, so right on the spot I got it for him as a gift simply because he loved it so much and he plays guitar. But he wouldn't call that romantic, he'd just say that was a really cool thing to do, but I did it out of love.

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  • Depends on what you consider GRG. I once made a boyfriend 100 cards that each contained a reason I loved him. It's not really grand but he still has them and looked forward to getting "supplemental" cards after the initial ones.

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    • I'd say that counts...

    • Thank you, the best part of doing things for someone is their reaction, so it was worth the time spent... even though we're now just friends.

  • Haven't you seen Trainwreck lol? It ends with a grand romantic gesture from the girl.

    Women do make romantic gestures (I know I have), but I take your point that maybe they don't do it enough. I think in romantic movies and TV shows it's because they're targeting an audience that's majority-women, and in real life women assume men aren't into all the romantic, hearts and flowers stuff, but that's not always true.

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  • I bought my boyfriend flowers before we were together. Does that count?

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  • i dont c why a woman can't make a 'grand romantic gesture'. just because it isn't showing up on google, doesn't mean it isn't happening in real life lol.

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  • I've done it before. I used to buy my exes gifts, I wrote poems for them. I would dedicate songs to them. But they didn't seem to like that stuff. I'd plan nice picnics at the park, go home with a nice dinner and lingerie and they didn't seem to like it, they were actually bothered by it.
    And they ended up just fucking random women behind my back. Conclusion, men don't like romance and just wanna bone. At least, the ones I dated were like that.

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  • Kevin Gates' wife Dreka just bought him his dream car. there's one example

    I used to always bring my boyfriend lunch to work.

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  • I've done romantic gestures before? I mean I like to bake for people or cook for them or take them out for their birthday or buy them something really personal. It's hard to make a 'grand' gesture because it's usually seen as too much or that I'm desperate but I do like to make the people feel romanced.

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  • I try to. I've certainly done more romantic gestures for my husband than he's done for me

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  • I suprised my ex at our second year anniversary by visiting him at his internship during his break (we normally weren't able to see each other that day, but I made a 1.5hour detour to school). I think that day was the last real hug he gave me before we broke up XD Anyway, he was pretty happy with it

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  • When I get a boyfriend, I plan on being hella romantic. Not all the time of course but I do want to spoil him from time to time :)

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  • Some women do, some don't. Not enough to make it a commonly noticed thing.

    To be fair you don't get very many men making those gestures nowadays either.

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  • They can, and I certainly try to.

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  • Thoughts?
    Stop trying to make it a thing when it obviously isn't.

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  • I do. In fact, in all of my relationships, I was the one doing all the romantic gestures. Well, except for one, but even though he was doing things for me, he was cheating at the same time so that doesn't really count lol.

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  • ofc i do, moonlit blowjob with candles and apple pie lmfao

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  • I wish men wouldn't make grand romantic gestures because it's so fucking weird and awkward. Please don't make a scene in public. Please don't waste a ton of money on something stupid.

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  • Traditional roles are supreme

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  • A lot of women are afraid of seeming desperate if they make grand gestures. People are quick to say women are overdoing it, or that it isn't appealing if women are as passionate as men in relationships.

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  • Yes they do. Most are too embarrassed but some are in love and shameless enough to go out of their way to make the others feel loved and remind them.

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  • Does making him dinner and buying him random special gifts count?

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    • For me, yes.

      Most guys care nothing about perfume or flowers or hearts or poems or any of the things most women think of as "romantic" - but we DO consider a nice meal or a little gift or an activity that caters to our interests as romantic (within the context of a relationship). That's the "guy version" of romantic.

  • Does a series of drawings of us together, a beautiful album full of pictures of us, a brand new ps4 game and a really cute card, all inside a beautifully handmade box, count as a grand romantic gesture?

    Or a weekend trip at a luxury hotel with amazing spa as a surprise bday gift?

    Or maybe showing up at his place with sushi, homemade pie and champagne?

    If so, I'm a true romantic.

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  • There's a stereotype that all girls want is flowers and skywriting and all guys want is naked time. When, in reality, most guys like some sweet stuff sometimes and most gals want their orgasm too.

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  • Everyone should make them when they feel like it

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What Guys Said 13

  • LOL. It reminds me of this Big Bang Theory episode:

    https://youtu.be/9D9y_sqaclo

    Most women like "traditional" romantic things like flowers, hearts, rose petals on the bed, etc. Men don't care about this stuff for the most part - we do them for her because that's what SHE likes.

    But many women rarely consider being romantic towards men - or if they do, it's SEXUAL (which, to be fair, men really DO appreciate!). But men also appreciate the "guy version" of romantic things: nice home-cooked meals, little man-centric gifts (a wrench can be romantic!), or an activity that's centered on his interests (a ball game, fishing, an airshow) with her.

    There's no reason that both men and women can't be romantic towards each other - but it's also important that we each understand what the OTHER finds romantic, and not just do what we would like OURSELVES.

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  • Very Very Rare. Apparently the guys are the ones expected to make those kind of gestures, while for women, it should be the "little" things, and it should all add up.
    The only reason why i don't mind this particular "trope" is because i'd probably end up puking.
    Do you know there are barely any new Romantic gestures anymore? now its all regurgitated crap.

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    • "Do you know there are barely any new Romantic gestures anymore? now its all regurgitated crap."

      You could probably say that about anything cultural - once you get past the first thousand years or so of farming civilization's all regurgitated crap.

    • We accept the regurgitated crap in many areas but when it comes to romance, i think they call it cliche... like its always gotta be new and creative...

  • Rarely... if ever.
    Girls like romanticism, but they aren't very romantic themselves. Girls barely ever give romance, which sucks, cause it'll be great to receive once in a while. The problem is that many girls think that with a bj they're good to go :/

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    • Are you saying women think being romantic for men is giving them blowjobs as some sort of payment for being romantic to them?

    • @BubbleBoy69 I'm saying that many girls think guys just need blowjobs to be happy, so they don't have to do any romantic gestures for us.

    • Which is basically kind of falls in line with a version of prostitution. You give payment in some form to satisfy the woman and she reciprocates by giving you sex.

      Obviously with prostitution this is money but I know women who give sex for favors so we can extend it to that as well.

  • Have exerpeinced it several forms anyway. Some have written poems to me for example. Made a vid too, proffesing their love sort of. With imagery, music, poetry etc. So they do do it anyway.

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  • Is pounding her dripping wet pussy in doggy a grand romantic gesture?

    @fearless_banana

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  • Well based on your quick evaluation, apparently they don't. Romance in its basis tends to be sexist because it's only romantic if the guy makes efforts for the girl, while the girl sits back and enjoys the show.

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    • Nah, that's a dumb assumption. In my opinion men are a lot more clueless, hence they need more help. Whereas girls tend to be more creative.

    • @lumos still, it feels like culturally from males it's expected and demanded while from girls it's optional.

    • I don't know what boring ass girls you hang around but I don't think I know any girl who hasn't but heaps of effort into being romantic.

  • VEry rarely

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  • No. Because no one wants to pay for it.

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  • Sure if they do it for themselves

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  • Nope, I have never heard it. They are submissive demanding bitches.

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  • I think so.

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  • Most girls aren't romantic. They just expect romantic stuff to be done to themselves.

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  • Short answer: Rarely to me downright saying no

    All the grand gestures like love song, poetry, and romantic dinners and all that fluffy stuff have all been done mostly by men throughout history.

    Men are the ones who are romantic at heart.

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