Do parents just treat their children as outsiders once they move out/turn a certain age?

It never fails to surprise me how after the child finishes University/starts earning/is independent, the parents almost stop behaving as though the child is THEIRS.

Just simple stuff. Like when you're young, the parents can yell at the kids saying clean your room, because the child is young and the parents have the authority to do that.

But when they're older, the parents just talk shit about their OWN CHILD or turn their backs on them, it's so weird!

Like when a child is young the parents are concerned over the smallest of things because they don't want to hurt that child and they'll remember their first day of kindergarten etc. and treat them with love. And when they're adults the FRIENDS not the parents are given more priority on their wedding day.

The whole thing is so weird.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Mmm. Well. My mom is entirely the opposite. 2 years ago, she bought me a teddy bear. When I was 24. >.> The year before that, it was a bunny, because bunnies were my favorite animal when I was a kid... She was like "I know you're too old for this stuff (maybe just a little), but I wanted to get this for you." So. My mom still treats me like I'm a child. She sees me in that light. Pretty much her entire existence is about her children.

    However. I could tell that once I turned 17, my dad had essentially disowned me. He's like "You are not my problem anymore bitch." Understandably. Long story short--I was a pain in the ass.

    I do not think this is a general trend that all parents do. It might be the behavior your parents have, but it's not what all parents do.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • When a child leaves home that child is now an adult and parents treat them different because they are no longer responsible for them as they should be independent and capable of making their own responsible decisions. Basically they are treati them not as kids but as adults mor equal to them, most parents don't talk behind their kids back except to lament to each other any bad decisions or mistakes they might think their grown up children are making ie career or bf/gf etc but only because they care and need to express their feelings as they feel powerless to help or guide them the way they did when they were kids.

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What Guys Said 12

  • I come from a culture where parents and children usually share a very close emotional bond, irrespective of age. I'm 29, but I'm still really close with my mom (dad isn't alive anymore). In fact, me and mom are more like best friends! :)

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    • Thats a bond i'll never have... :(

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    • @Tdieseler

      That's really sad. How could people do that to their own children? :(

    • she was/is just selfish... everything that she said... or did... if thought about, one would realize that it all bottled down to making Her look like a good person. but she isn't.

  • C'est la vie.
    I guess parents want their kids to grow in their own image and forget that they have their own personality. so when that develops, its like dealing with a different person. Its hard to understand unless you are a parent already.

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  • No? Most people get closer to their parents as they get older... ESPECIALLY once grandchildren are involved. It's a different kind of bond it's more understanding and equal-footing than a nurturing/teaching one.

    You can't expect a parent to be teaching you after you're 21, you should have grown up by then.

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  • In my case, I think I am the one who acts like they aren't actually as close as they ought to be by order of creation.

    But my father was told to leave the house the day he turned 18. In such cases, you would be correct; I do wonder how parents after so many years can be so heartless.

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  • Many treat their children as outsiders once the cuddling phase is over or once there's a second or third child needing attention.

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  • I would hope that doesn't happen. My family is tight knit now, and it's going to remain that way when my siblings and I move out. We have a very strong family foundation and we don't just give that up.

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  • No my mum cried the day I moved out. And still treats me like a kid sometimes Lol So my personal experience is definitely different.

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  • I don't have that problem.

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  • I don't know but I hope mine do lol

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  • I think it depends on how much the parent actually cares about the child. My dad talks crap about how irresponsible I am behind my back, even though I am totally self sufficient. He seems so proud of my little brother the golden child, that still mooches off of them so he can afford to live overseas and sleep with desperate women in third world countries.

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  • Not where I live at least. Here even if you are 40,50 or 60 and your parents are still alive, you will always be their little "kid".

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  • I think you're right.
    One time after I moved out I came for a visit & said "Hi I'm home" that idiot mother of mine said "this isn't your home you moved out"
    Nice thing to say to your child.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Well, that never happened to me! lol
    I just got back with my parents and they do not treat me like an outsider at all!

    As a matter of fact, it's in between a teenager and adult haha but my mother, always, always with LOVE <3 ^_^

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  • Some do.

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  • Pft, no, my parents can't leave me alone. They keep wanting me to come back and stay with them and spend time with them all the time. I like the attention, but sometimes it gets to be too much. They tell me all the time that no matter how old I get, I'll always be their baby lol.

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  • My parents let me stay at home while I'm in school and No they did not treat me differently when I turned 18, they knew I would never be able afford living on my own right after high school.

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  • naw, my parents are still my parents lmfao what kind of parents do u have

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  • No matter how old I am I'll always be a child to my parents. It's just our culture.

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  • Mine definitely haven't

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  • My parents are the opposite. They love when I'm home from college. The only difference as an adult is that they might need me more than I need them. (because us kids are their life) I feel bad leaving them because they get lonely. Ya my family is pretty close.

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