Why is it wrong or considered "narcissistic" if someone openly calls themselves beautiful? That they know they're good looking?

I'm going to state this--- I am a good looking person, no great looking person. Well above average, maybe even above the above averages. Yes, I have wonderful facial features and a great body. My genes did me well. Why is that wrong to admit? It's something so superficial and so factual... Who gives a sh! t if I call myself gorgeous? Why is that bad to do? Why do I get hate for that? I'm truly trying to understand but can't. I could care less if someone beautiful admits, yeah I know I am visually attractive. It's something pretty obvious already, I think they can openly claim to know that. I understand there are narcissists, but there's a difference between those who know they are just visually attractive and being narcissistic. Narcissism is believing you are above everyone else and being very self centered... What does admitting that your parents passed on some good looking genes have to do with that?

I guess I'm just ranting bc I feel like I am encouraged to be some confident woman, but the moment I admit that I know I am beautiful and the effect it has on men, or people in general, then I am some self centered, narcisstic person who is so stuck up and full of herself.. When all I did was admit I understand that visually I got lucky. It's just annoying, especially when people think it's all I have about me as well. I feel as if others project their own opinions and beliefs onto me without even knowing me. It's almost gotten to where I don't like dressing up and going out bc I half feel guilty, and bc of the stares and prejudgments I get from people.

Updates:
What I'm trying to say is that people put such great emphasis on looks and judgements, when there shouldn't be. It's not like I worked for my looks, it's not like it has anything to even DO with ME as a person. I honestly don't view my looks as belonging to me bc it's not something that reflects my intelligence, my kindness, my interests.. Or Anything about me. It's just so superficial I don't see why people put such great emphasis on it and act out when someone admits to being attractive

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that if someone asks you directly, or it comes up on a conversation, you should admit what you truly think about yourself.

    If someone compliments you, you should just say thanks, and/or reciprocate. It's not very polite to confirm a compliment, and this goes for any compliment. Because it makes the compliment less special. It is like your are disregarding it, instead of appreciating it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • well if you think you're above average and look stunning that's good.. really... but what people might consider as narcissistic might be the fact that you walk around saying "look at me... am gorgeous".. i mean if you're aware of it maybe you should just keep it to yourself... that's it and no need to tell everyone or vent about it... cause venting can be annoying
    p. s: ain't tryna be mean but its the only way i found to express it...

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    • No I think you're right. I don't openly just say it.. I was just saying I think it's okay if I agree.

    • am glad :)

What Guys Said 11

  • There's nothing wrong with thinking you look amazingly beautiful, but saying it to people isn't particularly attractive. Everyone likes modesty. I like the way I look, I consider myself above average and I can reassure myself of that by the attention I get from girls, it's definitely not because of my totally amazing personality (my personality is meh), not going to lie.

    I would never randomly talk about my looks, if someone asked me how I thought I looked I would just say I'm happy with how I look and that's true, but I wouldn't say I'm very attractive, not unless I was arrogantly flirting, but never seriously.

    If I look at a girl, I want her to be as confident in herself as she possibly can be, but I can see her, I don't need her to tell me she's beautiful.. I can see that for myself. People are far more likely to admire your qualities if you don't try and show them off all the time.

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    • I do the same as you. I'm not saying I go around and claim I'm beautiful. But if a guy says to me I look really good one night, I may reply yeah and I feel really good, thanks. Or something. I guess what I'm saying is that I recognize I am a good looking person. No I don't go stating it; I hardly ever. I actually have people telling me they don't think I know how beautiful I am bc I'm so quiet and shy, but I do I just don't think it matters I guess... Which leads me to this question... Like I don't think looks matter for life in general; I find them quite pointless.. So I find it okay if someone agrees that they think they are visually attractive. Like why does it matter? It shouldn't.

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    • Yeah, I agree. Like so many girls will say "I'm not that pretty" or "you're more beautiful than me" to other girls when they get complimented by them as if they're not allowed to openly accept the compliment.

      I don't understand why looks are so important, they're very superficial but I'd be lying if I said they didn't play a major role in who I'm attracted to of course.

    • ^agree

  • The hottest girls who're also the coolest don't even acknowledge this shit, they just get on with it.

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  • Most people like that who brag aren't gorgeous or beautiful is what I've come to realize. The hot chicks that don't say anything deep down they know they are hot as fuck but they are humble and don't brag. I feel this is you lol. But you just wanna make sure you don't come off as prude? Lol

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  • It all depends on context and how something is said.

    For example if you say you are gorgeous regulary - its clearly that you are boosting your ego. If you get asked how you think you look like and you reply with being good looking its a whole different context behind it.

    And from what you were writing its clearly the earlier that you are boosting your ego.

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    • No it's not. I never say I'm good looking actually, but I'm saying that it should be okay to confirm I am.

      And for example, I posted a question on here and people were saying I bet he likes you but you're not attractive- here I could insert that I am actually very attractive and it has nothing to do with my looks, but people get so uptight by the mentioning of being attractive by said person. It's pathetic

    • Or like when I mentioned the guy was very average and I am above, just mentioned it, and all of a sudden I'm a stuck up b! tch who is narcissistic. Hm. What?

  • People may feel intimidated by you or feel less about themselves when you openly say you're beautiful but thats within themselves. I think you can call yourself beautiful without it coming off as obnoxious or self centered, you see it as confidence so there is nothing wrong with it in my opinion. As far as you saying you have more to offer than your looks, people will always judge eachother on what they see and the only way to change people's opinions of you is to show them. Lastly i dont think you or anyone should feel guilty or bad for being attractive, as much as they shouldn't feel bad or embarrassed for being what's considered unattractive everyone should be able to feel good about themselves and go out and have fun. All i know about you is what you've written, and to me you dont seem narcissistic or superficial at all, if you were you wouldn't care enough to post

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  • Everyone's just jelly. Go ahead and be narcissist they're the ones that go farthest in life anyway

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  • because such things are confirmed by other people not by yourself.

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    • But it is confirmed when you're out and get hit on like you're in high demand

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    • I'm just saying that's a different topic.

    • thats true

  • Lets be honest , you are a bit narcissistic. Just a tiny bit...

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  • Because that is what that word means.

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  • nah ur average looking

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What Girls Said 7

  • Here is the definition of a narcissist for you. If you posses these qualities then yes you're a narcissist and it would make sense that people wouldn't like you for it. If you do not possess these qualities it could be that you come off as arrogant or lacking in modesty and that could be traits people find undesirable and unpleasant.
    noun
    1.
    a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish.
    2.
    Psychoanalysis. a person who suffers from narcissism, deriving erotic gratification from admiration of his or her own physical or mental attributes.

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  • It's never about u but their projected insecurities on you as their punch bag. Their life became short fused and they also were being short sighted.

    Its ok to call yourself beautiful but when you say it out loud to them, they are perceiving you as being egoistic rather than being humbled about it. But you are brushing it their face with the obvious. Is beauty the only ingrained power that you haave over others? No.

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    • You cared too much what others say to you 😆😊

    • I never stated it was.. Example of exactly what I'm saying right there

    • I agree with the top portion

  • There is nothing wrong with knowing you're beautiful and even that doesn't make you narcissistic. There is a lot more to narcissism than some people seem to realize. It seems to be just an overused insult lately. Narcissism is more about the attitude someone has and not because they think they're beautiful or because they take selfies.

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  • You can be secure in yourself and not be arrogant, it's called being modest and humble.

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    • But if someone compliments me or says something, I should be able to agree with them. That's not being arrogant.

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    • It would be another thing if someone stated they liked my hair or my makeup or clothes, or even if I lost weight and my body looked good.. Because that has something to do with my own work, and in that case I would say thank you and leave it at that bc it is of my own doing, and naturally it's how I would respond. But with something I was born with, by someone just staying oh you're so beautiful, it makes me awkward and unsure of how to respond bc it seems so pointless to say in my opinion

    • You say thanka and leave it at that.

  • I appriciate this a lot becuase I'd say I'm hitting the above average range too and i love my self for who I am does that make me Nacissistic? in grade school i always wore sweats because I was afraid people would think i was some stuck up chick who loved her self too much and showed no love twards others so to make up for that is dressed down and kind of shugged off my feelings. I deffinatly relize now that jelousy is always going to be afector when you've got the good genes so I'm going to consistantly have to ignore the haters and down talk from the Jelous ones.

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  • It's basically our society, and how we're taught not to think too greatly of ourselves. Especially if you're a woman. That's bullshit though, you don't need someone else to compliment you for it to be true. You're not nassarstict, and I'm sure you are indeed beautiful! Fuck what others tell you, it's awesome that you see yourself in a positive light!

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  • If you have to tell people beautiful, you probably aren't, and thus, you need to dismount your high horse.

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    • Umm disagree

    • I don't care if you agree or not, you asked the question, that's the answer. That's just how society works.

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