Are you aware of subtle inner changes in certain aspects of your life?

Im gonna use myself as an example:

Every time in the past there has been a guy who is blatantly in to me and available, I've run away. Get all anxious and not into it and convince myself there are a million things wrong with him.

But the other day I started talking to a dude and I was actually the one who told him we could hang out as soon as I'm done being sick.

I think I'm only comfortable with it because I'm 80% sure he's expecting just a hookup, but a part of me thinks maybe I'm finally changing and not turning tail and running when an available mutually interested dude is into me.

So do you ever notice small, inner life changes like this? Or do they tend to just happen and you don't realize until it's been awhile since the change.

For a more generalized example: you could actively not listen to a genre of music and then one day you do listen to it and you find yourself continuously listening to it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I always feel these subtle changes are always happening but often they are remembered by being tied to major decisions. Like it is a subtle distinction to realise that maybe you should take a chance on a guy when normally you might be reticent usually about taking such a big step, you will definitely remember when that happens whereas a sudden interest in a genre of music will just assimilate into your life on no fixed date in your recollection.
    For me over the last few years, I have got a lot calmer my biggest example is things I can't change - The old me would be "That F****** person/thing really annoys me", I would get angry and fight a stupid battle against it with no change on either side, walk away mad probably get drunk, get even more darker. Now I just go "If I engage here will there be a positive outcome for me or a negative outcome , nothing changing possibly it getting worse, if it is the latter, F*** it I have far more important things to do with my life mainly making it better for myself and others"

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, I used to be afraid of the fact that even though I am sexually attracted to both men and women, I am more interested in being with a women. But, over the last year I've noticed I'm more confident and open with the fact that I want to be with a women even though I am attracted to men as well - and that is okay! I've gotten more comfortable with letting people know what I want, and also about my genophobia.

    I also used to push myself into relationships with guys because I thought well if I am attracted to them and like them, then I have to date them. But now I know even if I have a crush on someone, that doesn't mean I have to date him. I know that I want a women, and a man can't give me what I want.

    Also, on a less serious note, I've noticed I listen to a lot more upbeat pop music, and remixes when I used to listen to mostly country music and classic rock.

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What Guys Said 11

  • I've noticed that my lack of confidence completely went away after I asked a girl out for the first time last year. Sure she said no and rejected me, but the fact that I actually did it made me feel that much more confident to the extent that I notice subtle changes in my behavior around women. I am less nervous, more capable of socialization, and even able to ask more of them out.

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  • hmmm not recently no, at least none that I can remember.

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  • Yes, I am a very self-aware individual.

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  • i wouldn't call either example subtle.

    just saying.

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  • Yes, I do notice when I mature.

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  • I believe in evolution of species.
    So the answer is yes for every living thing.

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  • Not really lately

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  • Sometimes that happens and I don't realize it until it's been happening for some time

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  • I think like you say, you often at some point have something happens that makes you realize a change has happened. Its not the moment of the change, it's where evidence of the change becomes clear.

    If there's a change in you on this one by the way, congratulations. And yes if you're just expecting fun, maybe that's less stressful, since maybe being hurt emotionally is what you're worried about.

    FWIW, the fear is the worst. If you live your life fully, you will get hurt sometimes, and you will pick your heart up, and you will move forward. Believe that you can be resilient, and become more resilient, by living. The more you hide, you think (anyone who does it) that you're protecting yourself, but you're just making yourself emotionally more and more fragile.

    Get living. You deserve it.

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  • Oh yeah I believe I'm better and better around women as time passes by. But still even though I'm good at "eye-locking" I'm bad at talking.

    What am I supposed to say to a stranger anyway? Well first question that comes to my mind is, "How old are you?". But it would be kinda rude, wouldn't it? Still I want to know so I can avoid any trouble.

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  • "Every time in the past there has been a guy who is blatantly in to me and available, I've run away. Get all anxious and not into it and convince myself there are a million things wrong with him."

    I've always wondered why that is. I mean how blatant and available are we talking?

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    • Single.
      Explicitly has confirmed wanting to get to know me in a more "romantic" way, not as friends.
      Asking me on dates.

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    • Is it fear of commitment?

    • That's what I've always chalked it up to be, but for more than half a year I was committed to a dude I COULDN'T have a relationship with - bc he's unavailable - so I'm not sure.

What Girls Said 7

  • hmmmm good question... I don't know but its like i take things less seriously now (which may be seen as rude) and am being more cold and distant towards some people.. its like idc about what people think anymore

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  • Yea I usually do. I can even *see* myself doing or saying (basically acting out the changes) and I watch myself do it and I can't stop myself

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    • Yeah, that happens to me too sometimes

    • I'm still bewildered that you're describing this change as "small" / "subtle".

      Going from (a) turning tail and running from anything that resembles a potential relationship, to (b) being open to / at ease with that sort of thing?

      shiiitttt that's not a "small"/"subtle" change girly! That's a HUGE change... in the way you view one of the most important things in yr life!

      How does that seem "small" or "subtle" to you? Genuine question -- if I were in yr shoes, I'd be thinking, "Holy shit I'm a totally different person now!"

    • Crapppp sry I meant to post that as my own opinion •___•

  • We all go through these changes but many people aren't as aware as you've described. It's a degree of self actualization that you should be proud of. continue looking at what's happening but don't miss the fun of exploring.

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  • I do notice changes, but even more so on things outside of myself. I'm extremely observant.

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  • Yes, I'm very reflective. "Hm, I haven't gotten angry in an argument since last year. My frontal lobe is developing 😎"

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  • Yes I've noticed the little changes about myself

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  • Yeah I think eventually we all get tired of certain things and patterns so we change. I don't think it's subtle, I think is a conscious decision

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