How do I tell my parents that I plan on converting to Islam?

I've been confused about my religion for the LONGEST time. I've been to church when I was a little girl, and I would read the Bible with my friend's mom at the time. I always questioned her things, and she would tell me all about it. Christianity was very confusing to me, and it never really made sense.. As I got older, it still never made sense. While growing up, my family basically had no religion. They told me I could believe in whatever I wanted to believe in. I just nodded my head, and I started researching my beliefs.. It's been a year now that I'm been studying about Islam. Everything makes sense. It touches my heart, and I embrace everything about Islam.

I talked to my sister about my beliefs, and she just smiled. She's a strong Christian, and she told me that I can believe in whatever I wanted to. Honestly, I felt so relieved. It's just my parents now..
I told my mom how I want to go into a Mosque. She's just all "Oh Goodness.." But then she's like "Oh! Then why doesn't (my friend who is Muslim) take you in there?" I HONESTLY feel like she has a little clue of what's going on...

How should I tell my parents that I plan on converting soon?

I am debating about just converting without anybody knowing. Only a few friends know about my situation right now, but not my parents.. I plan on buying a Quran, and just placing it in my room for them to see to figure things out.

YES GUYS. I've read SOME of the Quran..

(I know religion is strong talk. You can tell me your opinions messaging me. )

PLEASE NO HATE. I'M SO AGAINST NEGATIVITY.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You hate negativity?
    How do you accept Islam, and it's call to kill the unbeliever?
    Quran (2:191-193) - "And kill them wherever you find them, and turn them out from where they have turned you out. And Al-Fitnah [disbelief or unrest] is worse than killing...
    but if they desist, then lo! Allah is forgiving and merciful. And fight them until there is no more Fitnah [disbelief and worshipping of others along with Allah] and worship is for Allah alone. But if they cease, let there be no transgression except against Az-Zalimun (the polytheists, and wrong-doers, etc.)"

    This is in the Koran. Not a Hadith, not some claim made by evil westerners and our desire to smear Islam. This is word for word Islam. It blatantly says that not believing in Allah is worse than killing someone, and that the only forgiveness one can get, to avoid death, is if they worship Allah.

    Or how about the proclamation to not take non-muslims as friends?
    Quran (5:80) - "You will see many of them befriending those who disbelieve; certainly evil is that which their souls have sent before for them, that Allah became displeased with them and in chastisement shall they abide."
    In other words: take a non-Muslim as a friend, and you have proven the evil in your soul, and will be damned.

    You complain about negativity? I didn't make up these verses. They are Koran.

    Why do you think we horrible, bigoted, "racist" people only oppose Islam? We don't talk about Buddhism, Hinduism, Sikhism, Taoism, Shinto, Zoroastrianism, Animism, etc, the way we do about Islam. The idea that we just hate it because it is non-west and non-Christian collapses when you see that there are myriad other non-west, non-Christian things we DO NOT attack, slander, feel threatened by, etc.

    Maybe? JUST MAYBE? The problem with Islam is in the ideology itself, and not our bigotry. And maybe you either don't see it because whoever has been teaching you about it has openly lied about what Islam is, or maybe you don't see it because you are a moral and cultural relativist who insists it is all equally good or bad.

    Just remember: one you say the shahada, you are Muslim. You can not change your mind after that. I mean, you CAN, but...
    Quran (4:89) makes it pretty clear: if you leave the worship of Allah, you are to be killed. You can look that up yourself.

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    • I don't wanna argue
      I just wanna tell her that some words are translated wrong for a certain reason

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    • MORE ON issue #3) if you leave the worship of Allah, you are to be killed.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMJ8bHiLTeY

    • @Somali a debate back and forth between me and you about what is true Islam solves little, sadly, because there are Muslims who believe as you do, and those who think the faith is truly represented as I see it.
      And so long as there are people, who claim to be Muslims, who see things so differently, the way I, as a non-Muslim, sees things matters very little.

      Let me simply say this: My problems, distrust, and distaste, for ISLAM, is aimed at an ideology, not a people. I do not hate Muslims.
      1.5 billion Muslims? Many must be good people. They simply have to be, based on simple math.
      I do not doubt you are a good person. I do not doubt there are countless other Muslims who are good people. And I would not want to see any of you mistreated, and as a people, I would come to your defense.
      But I'm afraid I do not share your view of your ideology. I see the hard line Wahabbist view as not only dangerous, but the most literally correct, sadly.

Most Helpful Girl

  • as a christian, i would honestly tell u how to confront your mother about converting to islam if i felt ur intentions were right.

    I'm going to be very honest here. i read ur question till the end, and i found no reason for u wanting to convert, other than the fact that u were confused, and that christianity doesn't always make sense. this is normal, even for some of the strongest christians. understanding it all would make u superhuman, but that is where faith comes in. and guess what? say u do convert to islam, u won't understand it all. u just won't, and I'm 100% sure of that. some things you will be in awe of, others confused, others disgusted, others enlightened, etc.

    being confused by the faith is not a reason to change it. it is a reason to CHALLENGE IT. when you researched christianity further, id like to know how far you went. not only that, did you use anything other than the internet? because when it comes to religion, the internet is quite stupid, to be frank. us youth challenge our beliefs all the time. we ask bishops and priests about certain elements of the faith. we ask about the church's opinion on things. you need ANSWERS, and converting is not an answer, because by converting... you're only gonna have more questions.

    trust me.

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    • @Asker first congratulations sister. Today is the last day of the month of Ramadan and if you have become a Muslim within this month blessed month of Ramadan then you are not the only one. please watch this video of newly born brothers and sisters.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14jK6XS-uxU

      WELCOME TO THE FAMILY MY DEAR SISTER

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    • @Somali not doing this.

    • @justbanANNAz why not my dear? you don't want to find out the truth because it is your bible that says "Seek the truth then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." Bible, John, Chapter 8, Verse 32. I hope you have the bible so confirm it.

What Guys Said 36

  • You want to wear a bag over your head, be treated as property and be worth only a quarter of a man?
    You want a religion that teaches men that it is okay to beat you and actually gives instruction in the best way to beat a woman?
    Okay, if that is what you want, go for it.
    Be aware, though, that Sharia requires that you have to be killed if you change your mind later. The penalty for leaving Islam is death. Look it up.

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    • Lol pretty sure she asked for hate to be kept to yourself. Sad to see your nearly 60 and ignorant as hell. really a bag over your head? You're GROSS.

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    • @Dimmu I never said anything like that. I said there are a number of Muslim extremeists in the world. Which there are. I'm aware that there are a lot of peaceful Muslims but there are extremists as well. Im anti any relgion personally.

    • @Blonde401 my mistake then :D
      It's OK to be Religious or not, it only matters to you

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  • Lol good luck I hope you know what your getting yourself into FYI you better do a hell of a lot more then just read a little bit of the Quran before making this decision. Anyone can just read a little bit of something and think it's great.

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    • Thank you for the advice! I actually plan on doing a lot more. <3

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    • @Maazin I've heard differently.

      And why spare her? the world is a scary and frightening place full of danger just as much as it is filled with wonder. something she will have to accept or realize sooner or later, better sooner then later.

    • You just said it yourself , that you've only heard.
      There is a considerable number of folks who don't practice religion or have left it,
      With your adverse comments such as above, you are scare mongering others who plan or intend to not practice it.

  • Why pick Islam? That's the worst of them all. At least Jesus and Buddha never married a 6 year old like that POS Muhammad did:

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    • UGGH. Are you kidding me?
      This is what I hate in our society. People like you. People so negative in our society. You're filled with so much hate, and it's honestly so disgusting. You basically wasted your own time wanting to comment this on my question. Congratulations for wasting that much time in your life.

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    • she was actually 9 but yeah still I agree lol.

  • Christianity doesn't make sense but Islam does? The same Islam that throws gay people off of rooftops, stones women to death for being raped and calls for Sharia law all over the world? THAT Islam?

    Have fun with that.

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    • I'm pretty sure that's the one she's referring to.

      "But it's a religion of peace!"

      Yeah, if you follow their rules and live exactly how they want you to. Otherwise, it's war. And they ain't joking around, either.

  • It is said Quran is the central book for Muslims but remember this, there are the Hadiths put forwarded as the words of Muhammed! I do not mean to be rude but there are tales of war in those Hadiths too. Religion is your personal choice but do not go into a religion because it is *trendy at par. You have not read the Quran so you do not understand the ideologies of it. Read it first. Islamic societies in general will follow the Sharia and Hadiths are non-questionably followed. Read what you get into not because media says so, go because you want to go. I am converting to Buddhism in a couple of years after I have studied the scriptures. I am learning Pali now to understand his teaching in his language not English. I do not believe in God, I have no attraction to materialism and I want to live a life separated from the society that is why I hope to become a Monk in future. So understand what you are going into! And do not let other peoples thought misguide you.

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    • Thank yooou! <3

    • Good luck on your journey. Do your homework and don't rush in to anything. Please.
      Follow your heart, but don't be foolish or uninformed.

  • It is your life, I encourage you to live it as you see fit. I'll reveal that I personally think you are making a monumentous error in choosing Islam of all the religions from which to pick, but I'll not ramble on trying to dissuade you.

    I WILL however, invite you to perhaps do a little more thinking, and a little more research before committing to anything drastic like a one way ticket to Iran. If you need a Muslim environment might I suggest Michigan where at least shariah law does not supersede human civil rights.

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  • Quran (2:244) - "Then fight in the cause of Allah, and know that Allah Heareth and knoweth all things."

    Quran (3:56) - "As to those who reject faith, I will punish them with terrible agony in this world and in the Hereafter, nor will they have anyone to help."

    Quran (3:151) - "Soon shall We cast terror into the hearts of the Unbelievers, for that they joined companions with Allah, for which He had sent no authority". This speaks directly of polytheists, yet it also includes Christians, since they believe in the Trinity (ie. what Muhammad incorrectly believed to be 'joining companions to Allah').

    Quran (4:89) - "They but wish that ye should reject Faith, as they do, and thus be on the same footing (as they): But take not friends from their ranks until they flee in the way of Allah (From what is forbidden). But if they turn renegades, seize them and slay them wherever ye find them; and (in any case) take no friends or helpers from their ranks."

    Quran (8:12) - "I will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve. Therefore strike off their heads and strike off every fingertip of them" No reasonable person would interpret this to mean a spiritual struggle.

    Quran (8:65) - "O Prophet, exhort the believers to fight..."

    Quran (9:20) - "Those who believe, and have left their homes and striven with their wealth and their lives in Allah's way are of much greater worth in Allah's sight. These are they who are triumphant." The Arabic word interpreted as "striving" in this verse is the same root as "Jihad". The context is obviously holy war.

    Quran (9:30) - "And the Jews say: Ezra is the son of Allah; and the Christians say: The Messiah is the son of Allah; these are the words of their mouths; they imitate the saying of those who disbelieved before; may Allah destroy them; how they are turned away!"

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  • Dang guys, she said no negativity in the comment section. Seems like all the sudden everyone in the comment section are all experts in Islam. I don't judge. You do you boo. I don't know your family well so I'm not sure how I would tell them. You seem more comfortable with your mom so I would probably tell her first. Maybe buy her dinner somewhere at a restaurant and tell her. But yeah hope everything goes well.

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    • Thank you so much! <3 LOL. I even said no negativity. But it's whatever. It's numbing to me, and I honestly don't care what people think anymore. It's my belief.

    • alrighty sounds good <3. post an update later on and let us know what happened :)

  • I strongly suspect this is a troll post, because if one religion makes no sense (religions don't make sense, how can they?) then why would another religion make sense... that makes no sense.

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  • This is something you can't hide, just tell them. They know you, I don't think they'll fear that you'll become an extremist.

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    • Not all Muslims are bad most of us are nice if you don't belive me go to Somalia knock on a door and say pls help me they will help you

    • @IPLAYMINECRAFT I believe you, I know that most muslims are not bad. I just told her that because I don't know what her parents think.

  • Well you can tell them nicely , but I don't grantee thier reaction it's better not to tell until you have a job and money resource

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  • Eerrrr when you say you embrace all of Islam, I hope you don't actually mean ALL of it?
    Coz there's some ugly shit in the Quran
    Same in all religions tbf, but the Quran has a particularly large amount of worrying stuff...

    Look if you're going to just cherry pick the bits you agree with and ignore the bad stuff, why even call yourself a Muslim?

    Just decide what you believe... And believe it... It's that simple

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  • Okay so you're perhaps scared of a conflict breaking out.
    I'd say, tell them when your sister is home. Talk to your sister, and ask her to step in and help if your parents get angry.

    Hopefully they won't. Good luck!

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  • This must be hard,
    You can tell them you knew what you can believe in
    Then let them know later NY themselves

    But there's one important thing in your situation, you must be good to them despite the conflict

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    • You know what, thank you so much for your comment. <3
      There is some hate on this page due to my question, but thank you for the advice!

    • Beating wives is not acceptable in quran
      And the 9yo thing, people at that time has a different nature , Alexander did a lot of victories while he was very young, unlike now a 16 yo boy can't even handle his girlfriend, I mean we can't judge something happened 1000 years ago by now standard and think like now standard was used all time
      According to anti Islamic statistics, compared with general statistics, and some simple calculations, the result was that non Muslim man are twice as dangerous as Muslim
      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2030364-do-anybody-trust-math-or-not-this-time
      You can ask anything anytime , I don't guarantee I have all the answers but I can help

    • There is a verse specially for your situation
      And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.
      But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.
      Surat lukman (31:14-15)

  • I hope you know that Islam is anything but a peaceful religion. There's over 109 verses in the Quran calling on Muslims to commit violence. It's two greatest commandments are "Belief in Allah and Jihad in His cause" (Muslim 1:149).

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  • It's your business. However, you couldn't have picked a worse time to conver to Islam. Most
    Americans hate Mudkims and aren't quiet about it. Also, women are treated very badly in Islam. But at the end of the days, it's your choice.

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  • Why not. it Happens the other way around all the time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3lHueRXvh0

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  • Just tell them you're joining ISIS. They'll probably take that just as well lol.

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  • Just say Alluh Akbar! And see if they hit the deck.

    Kidding.

    I don't know what to say really. Islam has a bad rap right now, it would be understandable that they would be concerned.

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  • just dont convert as simple as that and am not hating islam right now i dont say that it is the worst religion in the planet and that u will not have any rights as a woman and a human being basicly thats what i do just dont do it watch how badly women are treated in asia where islam is one of the most popular religions and how they rape and kill with out care believe me life is too small to spend it that way

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  • Jeez. Way to go on converting to a religion where women are basically dogs.

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  • Good luck

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  • Hsha good troll

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  • 👏👏👏f. ck isis, its true way.

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  • Seek a private counselor help first.

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  • As long as you don't join Isis

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  • Wanna convert to the dream of ma gurl? 🌹😚

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  • Islam started as a Christian heresy with some Arab paganism blended in. If Christianity doesn't make sense, and I don't think it does, then how does Islam make sense?

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What Girls Said 18

  • Our problem is incomplete knowledge about any religion and belief. We just hear stories, fictions and perverted truth without analyzing and going through basic scriptures. It is not peculiar to Christians only. Muslims are also equally ill-informed and biased. Sometimes reading a sentence from scripture gives either negative or distorted version. It's background and related commandments clear the picture. For example, Quran says: "Don't go near the prayer..."Apparently it commands you NOT TO PRAY, but it is half commandment; the remaining is "when you are intoxicated". Here everything becomes clear.
    So I would suggest you to read good translation of Quran (preferably by Pickthal or Arberry). They were not Muslims, but also not biased. Don't go for books written by any fundamentalist, be Christian, Muslim or from any other religion. Quran itself says: Ponder over it (Quran)" and also " There is no compulsion in religion".
    When and whatever Muslim fanatics have done, or do, it is not Quran and Islam, they use Islam for their own motives. So take sometime, ready Quran thoroughly, and then decide. God/Allah of Christians and Muslims is One.

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  • Think about it long and hard and research and give yourself longer to decide. You're 18, it's easy to get swept up in the romanticisation of religions. You may not feel the same in a year or two from now and Islam is a big commitment. Do all your research first. This is probably what your parents will say to you. I have no hatred for any religion though I get enough hatred for mine (I list myself as a LaVey Satanist) and everyone should be able to practice in peace but make sure you're making the right choice for yourself. You're still young, you've still so much to explore and discover and religion can be a heavy commitment.

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  • It entirely depends on your family, for example my brother's bestfriend comes from a traditional italian catholic family and they weren't delighted to hear it so they just asked him to wait a few more years to make it official but he already converted ( privately).
    But the other converts i know don't seem to have a problem. One of my friends also converted her father wasn't happy at first but he still loves her, her mother converted as-well.
    Good luck :)

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  • Assalam o walakum! The best way to do it is just pray do dua which is important ask for help from ALLAH and INSHALLAH Things will work out!

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    • Thank you so much girl ! <3

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    • 4) you said "I am debating about just converting without anybody knowing i. e your parents/siblings" please watch this video it explain How to Give Da`wah to Non-Muslim Parents
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5adFHRzxDo

      5) you plan on buying a Quran. you don't have to buy it just order it here;
      http://www.allahsquran.com/free/
      http://www.cpsglobal.org/content/order-free-quran
      www.freequraan.org.uk/order-free-qur-aan.html

      6) just placing it in my room for them to see to figure things out. buy this CD title similarities christianity between Islam by Dr zakir naik or you may ask your sister to watch it on Youtube
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_M1PcTlYalk

    • if you have any question or someone else does please send me a private message.

  • first of all i think its really brave of you to consider conversion of any sort and especially to Islam at a time like this where everyone thinks we're hiding bombs in our socks & grenades up our asses lmao.

    you should definitely be sure that this is what you WANT to do because conversion is huge step. Also read up some more into the verses of quran and really understand the meaning of what it has to say. maybe talk to some muslim friends if you have any and get their different outlooks on it.
    i was born into the religion and i love it. it teaches me a lot about love and patience and kindness towards myself and others. however being born into it may cause me to be biased so you should really look into it in depth and see if its what you truly want and believe.

    as for your parents i think you should sit them down and talk to them with your sister and explain what you've learnt about the religion and why you want to convert. talk to them about what intrigues you and what drove you to make the decision. maybe get your sister to support you on it if things become tense and awkward. Islam and Christianity aren't identical and have MANY differences but there are a few things that crossover in the bible and the quran and we share a few beliefs; maybe that might be reassuring to them if you explain. it can go two ways, they either accept your decision or they dont. you practicing a faith doesn't hurt anyone or affect them from practicing theirs.

    i really hope the ignorant comments on this post aren't getting to you, i feel like when people dont understand something they automatically hate or fear it instead.

    i googled a little and found this website, you might find it useful or maybe you could get your parents to have a look. it gives an overview/insight into islam for non-muslims. it might hep their understanding of your decision. it wouldn't let me add the link but its called intorductiontoislam. org.

    i hope whatever decision you make, you are truly happy and content and i hope your parents are understanding of your situation.

    good luck x :)

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  • Talk to your parents about their thoughts about Islam and their opinion on that. Maybe drop small hints here or there and perhaps even involving them in the discussion of what you plan to do will make it easier for them to understand.

    Just make sure you make a proper decision before you go ahead with anything. Best of luck and I hope you find what you're looking for

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  • Do it at your own pace, Lyndsey. Tell them when you are ready. There's no time restraint. Faith is a deeply personal thing and is your business before anyone else's including your family. You have your sister's support. That's great. That can be enough for now if you want.

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  • I feel you girl, i've been open with my family from the beginning and let them know that i want to choose my own religion as i don't really feel connected to the one most of the family practices, just let them know, your not trying to disrespect their beliefs you just feel like this is for you.

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  • Welcome to Islam 😊 You mentioned that your parents are open minded and your mother has an idea why not approach her first and take the help of your sister? Plus be very respectful with your parents if you have to debate. Good luck!

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  • Just tell them how you feel. My parents were upset too when I told them I wasn't a Christian anymore but they got over it?

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    • There's a rather big difference between "I'm no longer Christian" and "I'm converting to Islam"

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    • Moral equivalence is REALLY dumb. It is one thing to *think* gay people are bound for Hades, it is quite another to try to send them there. Think about it...

    • @Curmudgeon The bible and the Quran both order homosexuals to be put to death :(

  • i just love how people from OTHER RELIGIONS act like they know and understand the religion.

    From what i read it doesn't seem like you'll like much of problem buying and keeping the quran is book seems like good idea

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    • Thanks girl ! Hahah. I think it's a good idea too.
      I'm not looking at all of these comments because I just needed ADVICE. Not HATE.
      If you have anything else to tell me, you can always message me. :)

  • Have you read the part about the Houri yet in the Hadiths and the Quran? What with their big boobs and men having the sexual strength of 100 men in the afterlife? Have you read the part about how men can have four wives except for the "messenger" who can have as many as he pleases?
    Mohammad preached an eye for an eye. Jesus preached the opposite. "Turn to him the other cheek".
    I'm not even religious. But I know both religions very well. Just think about it please. I once converted, too. Or reconverted. Then, I began to read deeper and I realised that this was not the rwligion for me. The more I read and heard and saw, the more I didn't like.

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  • Before converting you need to know a lot more than just part of the quran. You also need to know that quran is not enough to actually practice islam as the muslims follow not only the quran but also the hadith which is basically things that are being said were said by Muhammad. Moreover you need to know that as a mere mortal you are in no position to interpret the holy text and need someone else for you to do the thinking.
    Once you enter the religion you can never leave. If you one day decide to leave, Islam's instructions are to kill you because your blood is now hallal.

    Good luck

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  • Your parents don't care about religion as you stated. So why is this a concern?

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  • just tell them... they said you can believe in w/e you wanna believe in and your sister who is a strong christian accepted that... ease them into it i guess

    and check this out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcxzIE4xxrI lol

    i know a dutch girl who's family is... well I don't know religion was just never really a part of thier life , they didn't hate it but they didn't like it... like w/e
    she converted like last year or earlier this year and is now engaged to a muslim guy and her family is very happy for her and they love her fiancee and his family and all that
    and there is this other British guy i used to know... he converted in like 2011 and he has a bad relationship with his dad, his family is catholic, his grandma is very strong catholic... etc
    he is a muslim now and his family accepts it (he is married to a muslim woman now too) and his dad, well they kinda clashed a bit at first but he IS a grown man lolbut his father was like "you gonna be a terrorist now and kill ppl" and all that lol but yea things kinda settled later on :) and i haven't heard much from him lol

    and ill message you some stuff.. I don't know if they are allowed here or not i dont want my comment to get deleted :P lel xD

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  • You should do more than read just a little of the Bible and Quran before converting to anything, IMHO. Attend some services, read all you can, etc.

    Conversion is a very personal journey to make. While social community is one part of many people's religious life, the main relationship is between you and God.

    It sounds like your family is open minded and respects your beliefs. When you're truly ready, don't hunt around - share your heartfelt experience that brought you to your faith.

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    • Thank you for the advice! <3 .

    • Best wishes.

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