People who want kids. Have you ever thought about the idea that there's no benefit to existing over never having existed? How would you justify it?

How would you justify having children, when you would ultimately be doing them a disservice, as there is no real benefit to existing over never having existed?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you are saying what i think you are saying, the question that comes to mind is "how do you know?"

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    • I only know what I know. But you're right. I can't know what exists before life, but given what I do know about life, it seems very likely that something that simply doesn't exist, doesn't exist.

      So. What do you think exists before you're born? Something other than nonexistence?

      But that's a good, fair question.

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    • Yeah. I think so, too.

    • thanks for MH...

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What Girls Said 4

  • We are the ones who choose our path in life, therefore we have the power over whether life is worth living. If you surround yourself with people you love and do something you love doing then life is great. It is society who told us the only way to enjoy life is to be rich and powerful but that is not true. You have to find the meaning yourself and find what you love and pursue it to find a meaning for yourself. Life is one of the most amazing things that can happen and it is our role to full fill it. Once you have found what you love, money and big houses, however nice, should not matter.

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    • Really? An angsty teenager is saying this? You must have a pretty awesome life. Give it a few years.

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    • I hope your life gets better. you obviously have been through pain to ask this question and I hope your life does get better and you manage to enjoy the time you have on this planet. I only see things from my perspective and I have had a good life. I hope things get better for you Xx

    • It's a purely rational, existential question. It's not based on any pain I have experienced. It's about existence and non-existence. Not living life. A child didn't have the power over whether life is worth living. Someone makes that decision for them. And that decision needs to be rationally justified.

  • There is an advantage over existing as opposed to not existing, if you're alive to appreciate it. Personally, I'm really glad I got the chance to experience life.

    You're bringing a whole new person into your life. A unique connection. Someone to love. Someone who enriches your life. The end result is a world brimming with beauty and perspective.

    Life might be hard but making the choice to create it is worthwhile. Because the good is worth the bad.

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    • I hope you're dedicated to that ideology, even if you get kidnapped, tortured, and raped repeatedly. Or your potential/kid.

  • I thought that once but kids are not in my hand to decide whether I have them or not.

    As for abortion, I cannot kill.

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    • How are kids not in your hand?

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    • Ah, okay. I see. So, it wouldn't necessarily be something you would *want*, but if it happened you would just go with the flow.

    • nope, it is something I don't have control over, whether I want it or not. Thus, whether I have kids or not, I am cool with either.

  • I dont have to justify anything. I am very proud of my children and I never regretted having them.

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What Guys Said 9

  • That may be true - however, there's also no advantage of not existing over existing.
    Also, you have to define what you mean by "benefit". A lot of people who are alive and are leading happy lives would disagree with you and tell you that they're very glad they're in fact existing.
    Look at it this way: let's compare non-existence to sleeping and existing to being awake. Now, there's nothing bad about sleeping. And indeed, if you just get out of bed to sit on your couch, drink beer and feel sorry about yourself, you might as well remain in bed. However, if you wake up and you do something really fun with your day time, then it was in fact better than just sleeping.

    I want children because I have tons of love in my heart (more than I need) and because I believe I will be a very good, talented dad who can offer his kids that kind of fun, happy life that makes existence superior to non-existence.

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    • There is actually a magnificently tremendously significant advantage to not existing over existing. A complete lack of pain. Even the most blessed of us routinely go through the ordinary pains of life; to say nothing of the uniquely and unimaginably harsh ones.

      And if your child turns out to be born with cerebral palsy? Or some other irreversible genetic curse? If he or she ends up being kidnapped and brutally tortured, raped, and murdered? Just the existence of death makes living a questionable experience.

      What if you cannot offer your kids that kind of fun, happy life? What if you give them only misery and suffering? You're willing to take that chance?

      Oh. You live in Switzerland. Well I imagine it's so nice there that you can't see the evils of the world, but even still. Sickness, death, pain. It still exists. And it has to be justified.

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    • Frankly, I find it rather offensive that you claim to have taken many more risks than me without even knowing me. Like I told you earlier, I have a strong visual disability. Every day is risky for me to some part. I have had many surgeries in my life. I was forced to undergo them because otherwise I would be blind now but they were also very risky.
      I also don't see why you need to brag about taken more risks.

      And I also told you long time ago that it is always worth creating new life because all life is worth living. Yes, even the most wretched people have things in their lives that are precious or make their life worthwhile. It doesn't always need to be something big.
      But look, the whole thing is pretty simple. If you have a problem with having children, just don't have any.

    • Well, that's pretty simple, too. Don't kind of offend people by implying they don't want to take any risks, and maybe they won't kind of offend you by saying they've taken more risks than you. Also note the word "probably". And the reason was because you were implying that the only reason to not want to have children was a cowardice of risk taking.

      It wasn't a question on whether or not I should have children. I determined I didn't want them by 15.

      Dude. Come on. I can accept your reasoning as your reasoning, but "even the most wretched people have things in their lives that are precious or make their life worthwhile."? You're seriously going to stick with you're not an optimist, but will say that every life is worthwhile? Then it's belief against belief, and neither of us will convince the other. But, pretty sure most people understand the world is shit and that billions of people would have been significantly better off not existing than being brought into existence.

  • I don't want kids for different reasons but I do agree that there is no real benefit to existing. Existing kinda sucks, you just survive but its not that enjoyable for the most part

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  • Read "The Selfish Gene" by Richard Dawkins.

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  • So your mom should've swallowed. Gotcha 👌👍

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    • Thank you for contributing. Stay in school. 12 year olds should really focus on their education.

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    • That's not what I'm saying 😑

    • Then what are you saying?

  • No one has the right to expect another person to justify his existence, much less demand it of him.

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    • Not sure what you're getting at. No one is expecting another person to justify *their* existence, but in *creating* *another* existence.

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    • So I can just go out and murder someone and say "Well, you have no right to judge what I do with my life." ? Exactly why is "no one in the position to judge"?

    • When people talk about justifying their existence, it's generally taken to mean explaining why that person has the right to exist at all. That's the way I have been addressing your question, but I'm starting to think that's not what you mean. So I think we're talking at cross purposes.

      Regarding your latest example, when a person kills another person, their *actions* absolutely must be justified exactly because they, through the act of killing, have ended the life of someone whose existence they had no right to judge not worth living. IOW, the actions must be justified but not the actor's worth as a human.

  • its simple, you propagate the species or you cease to exist as a species.

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    • That would be the reasoning behind having children. That's the instinctual part. Not the rational "Is this what is best for my potential child" part.

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    • Not every time. That's hyperbole. I might mostly agree with you, but humans are capable of transcending baser instincts, rarely.

    • i can't man, when im horny and i want to fuck i have to do it like an animal.

  • That's not the same as having a benefit over existing.

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  • No I'm not photogenic but I probably don't look any better in real life either lol

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  • Kids are for your service buddy. Work their asses for 18 years man. lol

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