Im 21... It's summer and I have a lot of free time. I've also been very stressed with life in general. I think a lot, and I find myself quite numbed to life. Maybe it's existential crisis like, but I don't have any passions or find life that meaningful or what I do as fulfilling. I go to school for psych. I'm starting ballet lessons in a week. But I feel so empty with life. Every attempt at a relationship I have fails. I'm highly introverted.
Anyways, with my time... I literally get in my car and go for drives.. Anywhere from one to 3 hours. I listen to music and zone out. It allows me to stay away from whatever reality I need to face (maybe?) and I just love driving. I'm going somewhere and seeing things and listening to music... And it just feels good. My parents find it concerning and think I'm wasting a lot of money doing so. Not to mention the mileage on the car has skyrocketed since I've been home from school. I can't stop though. I try to, each day, and I just find myself needing to get in my car and go. Like I can't sit still. A need to escape all the time. I can't watch tv at all anymore. I can't finish anything I start. Most of the time, I just listen to music, drive, talk to guys, hope it goes somewhere (they never do), and then sleep and eat. I exercise (run) a lot too. Is this concerning? Do I need help? Is it a desire to travel? Is it discontent and boredome with my life, escaping from reality?
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