Is this fucked up :(?

I just counted.. in 21 years I have moved 25 times and lived in 8 states, 15 cities and 19 houses :x

Does that damage a person? Not really sure :x


0|0
17|13

Most Helpful Guy

  • I suppose it depends on the other factors - Some people move around a lot and there would be pros and cons - Cons side leaving familiar environments, friends, schools etc but in this modern age, a friend is just a click away - On the pro side you probably have very strong social skills, going to new schools a lot - There are probably loads of other pros and cons no more so than that are associated with other upbringings but I think in fairness, does it give you an advantage or disadvantage in life, it is probably negligible - If I met someone with those stats, I would be interested in all the places they have been and what they were like to live in.
    So short answer I think your whole life in entirety has to be analysed before any pronouncement is made. What messes people up or makes them adapt is so hard to judge, often you have people who went through life remarkably similarly and end up in totally different places in life. I personally believe that a person is developed by a mixture of nature, nurture and environment with none having the dominant influence.

    0|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • Eh.

    I lived in the same house from age 0 to age 21. Then, I lived in 6 different countries in a span of 6 years.
    My first international move -- which was actually my first move at all, hahah -- was to a country where I didn't speak a word of the language when I decided to move there (Japan)... and I did it on 19 days' notice.

    I LOVE moving to different, unfamiliar places. It makes mundane things feel like... adventures.
    It's different with kids -- but, if I didn't have kids, I would absolutely be down for moving every couple months of my entire life. (Just nowhere when it's cold or snowing...)

    All those moves made me self-sufficient, confident at handling my own shit, and adventurous.
    They made me unafraid to branch out on my own and do other unconventional things -- an attitude that ultimately allowed me to become a successful freelancer (in a career I basically designed myself).

    Unlike you, I didn't have the experience of moving as a kid -- but, I used to sit in the bathtub and actually "read" road atlases for fun.
    Yep. I did that.
    I took imaginary road trips.
    In the bathtub.
    The earliest home video of me in existence has my father (off camera) naming pairs of US cities, and little 7- or 8-year-old me is rattling off the most efficient route between them on Interstate highways... LOL
    So... honestly, I'm a bit jealous of yr experience.

    __

    As for "pushing boyfriends away"...
    Gurrrllll!

    I broke way too many hearts, and pushed away more boys than I'd care to admit, all while living in the same damn house.
    At least YOU have an excuse hahahah... I was just a heartless bitch.
    <3

    __

    In any case... If you want yr past to be shitty, then, it's shitty.
    If you want it to be cool and colorful... it's cool and colorful.

    No matter what, though -- Step #1 to a better future is ALWAYS, "Abandon all hope for a better past."

    1|1
    0|0
    • I like this thinking. That's how I've always seen it. My therapist said I have something called "fearful attachment" because of it, but honestly sometimes it feels like they do more harm than good.

      I prefer to be content. But I will say pushing guys away is hard when you actually LOVE them yourself. I've pushed away guys I don't love.. and feel NOTHING lol

    • Show All
    • I'm generally kind of oblivious mostly because I'm one of those extremely absent-minded types who can't even find my own house. There have been many times I called my wife just a few blocks away asking her where I lived again.

    • @ak666 I *would* make fun of you, but in Japan I TOTALLY FEEL YOU DUDE

What Guys Said 12

  • I was similar. I don't know if your moves were as an adult or with your parents. Mine were all as an adult.

    Whether it damaged me or not is a matter of opinion and what your priorities are. It's just what I did at the time. I got to experience different places at a closer level than visiting on vacation. Some of the places I lived were very different than what most people have an opportunity to experience (or even know exist). I'm glad I had those experiences.

    Yes there are negatives. Largely because of all the moving around I lost touch with almost everyone I met during my adult life. A rolling stone gathers no moss. On the other hand, I had friends all over the place. I could go to almost any part of the country and know someone there. But I didn't know them long enough for it to last for years after I was gone. So they all faded over time.

    It also hurt me financially. Constantly jumping around doesn't give you much chance to move up, because every time you move you are starting over to some degree. However, I always thought "career" was a dirty word anyway. :P To me career meant doing one thing for thirty years and that sounded horrible to me.

    Overall, was it a negative in my life? I don't think so. I think it was a positive. But that's just me and my own opinion and priorities.

    0|0
    0|0
  • woah thats crazy. It probably would damage in some ways, like you kinda both grow used to the idea that things are never supposed to be long term in any kind of way, like friends, relationships, family maybe too etc. So I do think no doubt, it can be wise to just try and be self aware about such things cause of it, so dont sabotage for yourself, particularly with yes, bonding with people. So you dont distance yourself or grow cold towards people simply cause you expect an assume these relations won't ever last past say a year.

    0|0
    0|0
  • There's two sides to that. Some say moving a lot forces you to make new friends and it teaches to be more outgoing. Nobody moves more than military families and millions do just fine

    0|0
    0|0
  • One of my good friends was like that in high school. Though when he came back through town we would always hit the gym and work out. He delt with a lot can't imagine it is fun.

    0|0
    0|0
  • army brat?

    0|0
    0|0
    • i'd say it's less detrimental nowadays since it's easier to keep up w/ your friends.. taht and you have your online friends... whom you can't really move away from

    • No, my parents were bohemian intellectuals. I never kept up with friends, even when they tried.

    • you're not in college?

  • yes its fucked up. i loved the "you don't know your phone number?" reactions of everyone.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No. In fact I admire you for being traveled like that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • id say

    0|0
    0|0
  • you are lucky

    0|0
    0|0
  • Wow that's a lot of moving. Though I wouldn't say it's fucked up really.

    0|0
    0|0
  • that sounds cool actually

    0|0
    0|0
  • nopeeeeee

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 16

  • No, it's not messed up, my family moved a lot too when I was younger. The main problem is not keeping your childhood friends as you grow up. I mean, I used to make friends everytime I went some place new, then, we'de move and back then internet and social media weren't as popular as they are today, so I'de eventually lose contact. You learn to ditch people, leave them behind and move without regrets.
    However, moving and travelling teaches you better social skills, makes you friendlier and more respectful of people who are different. and in my case, it also made me very close to my family, as they were the only constant people I had in my life all the time.
    Another result of moving a lot, is that people who get used to it tend to get bored when they stay too long at the same place, I know I do.. don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

    0|0
    0|0
  • that's a cool thing. I wish my parents did not decide to resign from their military jobs so I could move around. I only lived in 4 different places with them. Later 6 times I moved out and in around cities and states and continents. I love your parents. It teaches you a lot of things if you focus on its beauty and positive sides rather than its negative sides.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's really hard but doesn't mean you're damaged. Think of it that you already met enough people to last you a life time. Every where you go you already know someone. You have many stories to tell. About people you met. It's kinda cool :))

    1|0
    0|0
  • It might cause you some attachment issues, in the long run. I moved a lot growing up (nothing close to how much you've moved), and the biggest thing I've noticed is that I never finish unpacking. I've reached the point where I just don't bother anymore, beyond my clothes, tech, and books. I tend to not get attached to the places I move into. In the end, it really depends on you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not damage.. but I dunno.. seems too much change tbh

    0|0
    0|0
  • Wow! That's a lot and that must make it so hard to make lasting memories and friendships. Can I ask, why did you move around so much?

    0|0
    0|0
  • It does. Even though it can make someone versatile, it can also make someone be less good at bonding with others, lower school grades or accomplishments etc.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It might hurt you with socializing and making friends but other than that I don't think it would.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I think it's even harder with boyfriends. I push them away cuz I'm not used to the idea of "long term" people

  • Only if you let it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you have moved 25 times how is it you have only lived in 19 houses?

    0|0
    0|0
    • I was batted around between my grandmas and wherever my parents were when my mom got sick

  • Yes. I think so. I feel people, especially children need stability. And there's no stability in moving that many times. Which I presume makes it hard for you to commit to things that are steady and long term? Im just assuming.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I move a lot too. that's cool

    0|0
    0|0
  • Fucked up? That's called LIVING THE LIFE.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Depends on how you let it affect you if it all. Even if if is, don't let it bring you down :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Eh... not really. Some people are naturally nomads. Other people need a stable environment.

    0|0
    0|0
  • In 14 years i have lived in 12 houses, 2 states, and 3 towns, and i can tell you that it is definitely very unsettling (especially if there are reasons behind it) but yes!!

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...