I feel fake. It's a fact that the world is fake. But I feel like my life turned upside down and it became to heavy to put it right. Reflect with me?

A few weeks ago I was the idillic example of the successful kid, who would become a successful adult.
I've been finding myself asking myself: "what the f*** just happened?", so I pondered to ask the same to all of you. But I won't. I'm asking you some suggestions.

Notice that I'm portuguese and I'm not a proficient English speaker, nore writer.

If you get bored reading the next paragraph it's allright to skip it to the next one.

I was that boy who was absolutely brilliant: I had the best grades in the area and some other areas too, without getting any kind of help, but my will to succeed. I was the president of the students association in my school. I was giving free math lessons three times a week to some of the most needy students in my school. I've organized camping activities [I think I exposed my idea properly] for hundreds of young people. I was in a successful soccer team in my region, and I was successful in my team. I have the greatest friends, familly and literally bunches of girls, if I want them. I party. Oh and I play violin and guitar. And chess. But I don't live.

The thing is: I've never focused on being that brilliant kid they say I am. I look at me as a fraud. I've spent my eighteen years trying to be what society wanted me to be, convinced that I was being what I wanted to be. I've never thought my path was wrong. All the people's smiles were telling me to keep going. Now everybody expects me to be a great politician, engineer, writer or whatever. I just don't know what the f*** I expect me to be.

I feel fake, I feel everyone's fake and I don't bare all these girls arround me trying to get I don't know what because they think they know me. I don't know me.

I wish I could start my life all over again.

I hope I explained myself properly. I don't want to overthink, so I won't write more.

I don't know what my question is, but since you know aproximatelly how I feel, you should be able to tell me something.

Thank you for reading.


0|0
1|1

What Girls Said 1

  • I think many of us go through a phase similar to what you're going through, especially in our early adult life or late teens. And it's ok to feel like that.
    You're not fake just because you don't try... some people are just born brilliant while others have to work hard to get there, and even when working hard some still never get there.
    In reality, we all try to be what we're told to be, just that most people don't realise they're doing this. Some people try to be unique because they're told they're unique, some try to be good at football because they're told they are. It happens a lot.
    All the smiles that told you to keep going, listen to them. You're on the path for greatness, you're on the path for many great things. Don't ever let your potential go to waste.

    0|1
    0|0
    • It looks so simple now that you said it. But I know it's needed some knowledge to say what you said. Maybe you don't need me to tell you to keep going, but you just teached me to. So I think you should know that a random portuguese guy is smiling at you...
      Big thank you!

What Guys Said 1

  • Lol, the "struggles" of having an awesome life

    0|1
    0|0
    • That was subtle. I've never found it that awesome. I have great times, but I think we're always craving for what we don't have. So I know you have your own awesome life too.

Loading...