Are there actually guys who are completely OK with just walking up to a girl they like and start a conversation with her?

I cannot do this... stress levels you would not believe... just from being near a girl... especially attractive ones.
My reaction to a pretty girl is ignore them. Try to not be seen and such.
It's become a reflex.
I probably comes from a bad experience a few years back... (Don't ask. I won't talk.)
I don't talk to girls for fear of offending them and having them hate my very presence.
All the girls I know I am in "close" proximity to every week, (Youth Group), so if I offend one of them not only do I have to live with myself but I am putting THEMthrough a lot of stress every time I walk their direction even if I just want a drink of water at the sink they are leaning against...
I respect girls, I give them their space... To initiate a conversation would be social suicide, (so to speak), and, depending on how the conversation goes, could totally alter how both of us act, for better of for worse.
I don't want to take that risk.
I think Girls are happier when I'm not around. My observations affirm this speculation...
If one of them started a conversation with me... that's another story...
I hear people talk about how they forget how to talk around pretty girls... During the few episodes when I have actually talked to a girl I find beautiful, I have not had a problem forming coherent sentences... The hard part is to avoid saying the wrong coherent sentence.

So confident guys, how do you do it? How can you even talk with a girl after going through a breakup or something like that?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Confident OffensiveGnome Here ready to provide tips.

    We see life like this, it is too short so make the best of it while you can!
    Walking up to girls takes guts, but at the same time you only will see her once unless like you have school or something then you will never see her again. Honestly, What's the worst that can happen? Getting rejected? Well, go after another, because there is bound to be someone that likes you back and for yourself.

    Females smell a lack of confidence and sometimes that can be a real turnoff as well as the lack of humour or emotional "support" that would hope you can provide.

    The key to being confident is not giving a flying fuck about opinions of your characteristics/traits.

    Also DO NOT i repeat DO NOT make a fake "self" of yourself lol don't pretend to be something you're not because that is only going to make you anxiety/stress levels rise.

    Sometimes that is not the case, sometimes you just have to DO IT because you might not ever get that opportunity again for that one girl.

    Also if she is attractive usually guys are so afraid to approach her, however, who ever approaches her FIRST is in a better spot than the rest of males. All he has to do is be a decent guy.

    If you can't find anything to talk about well... there is always something to talk about... OR you can get straight to the point of the conversation and say "I really think you're cute and I know i might not get this chance again, so do you want to go on a date with me" She sees how direct you are and appreciates it because you were FUCKING confident bro-man.

    Don't let your emotions get the better of you OP because you and anyone else can FUCKING DO IT. Bonne chance, Good luck. :)

    • Getting rejected is a problem since I see "her" every week...

    • No, it's not a real "problem" the only problem in this case is your lack of confidence in yourself/abilities with others, specially, the female counterpart. Look OP, if she rejects then keep your head up high because as I said earlier, females will remember that guy that spoke to her on that "said day". You see her every week good then she'll definitely remember, but here's the thing if you get rejected and you just keep your head in dirt for weeks or months because of her she might think you are just a little "weak". Build your confidence up everybody gets rejected at some point in their life, not everyone says "yes, sure, okay". Rejection happens, but don't let it be a sign of failture, but a sign of a new beginning for yourself. Perhaps you can try again in the future for that "her". Only yourself is stopping well... yourself OP.

    • If it helps you any better then. I am an introvert, so I don't exactly speak with a lot of people unless I WANT to and that's another thing you have to WANT something in order to ACHIEVE it or at least come close to it. Be a Honey Badger OP.

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What Girls Said 3

  • All the damn time lol that's why I'm shocked at just how many shy guys there are. I'm no sexy bitch, but I've had that happen quite a bit.

    From your description, I see you severely lack confidence. Women are not that bad lol

    • Maybe... but prior experience dictates later behavior.

  • I feel like a lot of it is in your head. Just try approaching and talking to a lot of people. Start off with friends and other guys. Move onto people you're maybe not attracted to, but just start having and initiating conversations. It makes you more comfortable in your skin. Once you gain that type of confidence, you won't have trouble talking to anybody, beautiful girl or whoever

  • There are. God bless.


What Guys Said 5

  • I'm just not a wallowing sissy. I can talk to anyone without trying not to be seen or shriveling up and ignoring them.

  • Yea. I have no problem talking to humans...

  • yes its not that hard and if u want a trick to help you do it PM me

  • I'm not confident but I can hit on and flirt with girls for fun. Whenever my girl friends tell me that I don't have balls I can show them. I can do if it's as a challenge. No problems.
    But when it comes to that one girl I really like I can't. Even when she said "Feel free. Hit on me. Flirt." I couldn't.

  • No too ugly for that. Only 6'2'' handsome white guys can pull that off and get a success.