I feel like my life is just passing by?

I am 25 years old and just got out of an unhealthy 8 year long relationship. We were engaged, messed up many times and I have forgiven him and believed his apologies countless times giving him chances over chances. This time I have made up my mind to move on and find someone who loves me, and cares for me. I realized after my ex asked me to marry him and talked about our future together that at this time in my life I AM ready to settle down and have a family of my own. I don't have many friends or relatives, and often feel very lonely and depressed and believe that my ex is all I have. He isn't showing me in his actions that he is ready for what he says he's ready for (setting down). It's so hard for me to even find someone I am interested in to build a future with. I also feel like I want to move to a different state and start a new life but afraid I will be even more lonely and depressed. As much as I wanted it all with my ex he proves to me over and over again that I will obviously not be happy with him lying and treating me badly for the rest of my life as I've dealt with majority of our relationship. My mom and aunt told me that he will not change and I deserve better but where I live I don't find others I'm interested in and I just don't know what to do. I feel like my life isn't getting anywhere..


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeaa your definitely deserve better... But for now you should stay away from relationship... And take a break... Meaning for now first heal.. Make friends and spend time with your family more and more. .
    You will feel happy... And you will then find someone who loves you...

    Don't just jump from one relationship to another


Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel the same way sometimes. I'm 26 years old and am still searching for someone. I like this guy, but I'm unsure where things are going to go. I got out of an abusive relationship 2 years ago and was able to find another guy, but he cheated on me.

    So I have been single for a while now. I find it hard to meet people who are likeminded. I just want to settle down, but it's hard. All of my friends are pretty much married and have kids. It's hard to see everyone around you have what you want and it seem so elusive to you to find. No one understands why I am having such a hard time. But I am.

    I think it was a good thing to leave your ex. Sounds like you were not happy in the relationship. A bad relationship is still a bad relationship. It's far better to be single and have the chance to meet someone who will love you and treat you right, than be in an unhappy relationship.

    You will meet someone ! Open yourself up to new experiences. Go out and do things. Join a club, take a class, do things that get you out and meeting new people.

    It will take time to meet someone great, but it will happen :)

    • Hi, thank you :) I am happy someone can understand where I am coming from. I will try and get myself out there. I guess it'll be a little more challenging since I am very shy. Thanks again.

    • You're welcome! :) I know it can be hard to put yourself out there when being shy. I''m shy too. But just try to think about how other people are probably shy too in some ways. They may also find it hard. Most people when you try to make conversation will at least try to talk to you. Once you go out a few times and meet some new people, it will get easier :)

    • Thanks a lot :)


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What Guys Said 3

  • You need to learn to be by yourself. What happened to you is known as institutionalized. It's similar to the movie "Shashank Redemption" you became dependent on your ex. Well, now that you are free, you are afraid of the unknown because it's not comfortable. You need time to discover you; do you honestly want to sart a family or is it something that is expected for you to do? 25 is still young; you have some time to find a man depending on what you want

    • Thanks, I'm not so sure I was dependent on my ex because I was still spending half of my time with my friends. The reason I don't talk to them much or feellike giving up on those friendships is because I'm the one that always have to ask or invite them to do things together and they would hang out and not invite me. Also, thanks again for mentioning that I need to discover myself, but I know my true self and have been doing things I enjoy alone but it get lonely and depressing because I don't have anyone close like everyone else are in happy relationships and have close friendships which I once thought I had. I do want a family of my own despite being 25 I have been thinking about it for years and now the more I think about it the more sure of it I am. Anyways I want to thank you for you response, it's much appreciated.

  • A very natural emotion after coming out of a long term relationship - My advice be single, casually date for a while till your head clears then think long term again - You are only 25, loads of time.

  • dont worry, i feel like you too most of the times, i dont have any friends at all, just have some hope, hope is a good thing to have. when the time will be right it will happen


What Girls Said 2

  • The thing you do need to understand is that you actually do not have your ex because he does not care about you enough to be there for you. I learned the hard way as well, that only you can make your own happiness and do not put all of your eggs in one basket. Take this opportunity to work on yourself, join an activity where you make more friends and have fun at the same time. I'm not saying this is going to be easy or that there is a magic fix, but once you get yourself out there, you will see there is more out there for you then a guy who doesn't love you. Granted I was only about a year w/my ex, but I got caught in the same trap, I pretty much lived for him and once he was gone I felt lost.

    • Thanks a lot I appreciate it. I have been trying to find things to do I usually go to the gym or the lake but I will look into other things to do. I also feel like people aren't interested in making new friends seeing them all with their friends already..

    • One thing you can look into is volunteering w/people or animals. It is sad for someone who wants to love w/no one to share it w/. If you volunteer you may find something fulfilling and that will make you feel good, you will have someone appreciating you.

    • Thank you so much.

  • Your life is just starting. Make something new or re-invent yourself after you get over the break up.

    • I think I was looking to reinvent myself, I just am not sure how to begin doing so..

    • Change your looks and clear yoir closet

    • Ohh yeah already have lol thanks