What do you think of former bullies that pretend nothing happened?

Not with me but long ago, my aunt ran into 2 girls that literally made her cry during her school years. When she was a HS sophomore that was the last time she saw them.

Fast-foward to her mid 20's: She ran into both of them on different occasions. Both say hi to her with a smile, asked her how's it been and tried to proceed with a normal conversation. She never got any apology from them but them pretending to be some friend you haven't seen in years.

My aunt didn't say nothing and well along with it but she was a bit bothered by this.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If I were to run into any of my former bullies (which is unlikely since I moved cities), I would be salty. I'd still be polite, but not overly friendly. If I was feeling petty enough, I might smile at their children and say "and I'm SURE your mother teaches you all about being nice to others, RIGHT?" *Cue dramatic eye contact at their mom

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What Guys Said 11

  • i think they are in denial of how their behavior could effect a person or are so ashamed by it that they don't want to address it

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  • The worst have learned to channel it into military, police, or domestic abuse once they find they've become pariahs. The best recognize that it's a pattern they learned from family or abuse and have worked to overcome I'm not saying that most cops and soldiers are bullies, just that bullies use those careers to find legitimatized outlet. The only people who are bullies are those kids getting bullied at home

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  • 10% chance they grew out of it but don't want to apologize for the sake of not making it awkward, 90% chance they're still just as sociopathic as they were before, except they took it up a level and now hide it.

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  • Many of those bullies are in denial that they did such things or simply feel bad about it and thus pretend nothing happened.

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  • People are so fake it's gross

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  • Most reformed bullies are ashamed of how they behaved and acted in their past, definitely "bully-guilt" has hit those women who bullied your aunt.

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    • yeah that could be it

  • Most people blow it off with "Oh I was a kid"
    Sounds bullshit but it's a valid answer.

    Just like how the criminal system recognises children differently from adults.
    We all do stupid things when we're younger.

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  • I'd be pissed cause I had old bullies try that shit with me. Then tried to say "oh we were playing, we were kids. what are you so angry about?"

    Bitch, I attempted suicide. You tell me.

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  • i have a very low opinion of bullies..

    my opinion of the people who allow themselves to get bullied isn't much higher though

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    • Well u can't help how other people act, so you can't help if people bully you. But the REACTION to being bullied is what you're talking about.

    • @Prof_Don yes,, im talking about how people just accept it... like how weak are you?

  • They don't want to be awkward

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  • Normal.

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What Girls Said 12

  • I know, I can't stand this. I was awkward and gangly when I was in junior high, and I got bullied and teased unmercifully by these three girls who weren't god's gift themselves. By the time I was a sophomore in HS, though, I was hot and they all turned around and tried to act like nothing had happened. One of them even tried to talk to me in class like we were old buds. I was like, bitch, you tormented me for two years, and I haven't forgot that shit.

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    • I know right. It's funny how the bully wants you to forget it already be move on to being friend. I'm curious what did she respond back to you when you told her that?

    • I didn't actually say that, I just blew them off. I wish I had, though lol.

  • One of my childhood bullies tried to flirt with me once.
    (Don't worry, I was still polite to him)
    s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...b24c265bed.jpg
    My sister had the same thing happen to her lol.
    You gotta bear with me... I have trust issues.

    But I think they did that because they felt guilty about what they have done and they want to move on.
    Or they could have been fake and laughed about it afterwards. It can go both ways.
    But considering the fact that they were adults, instance #1 is more likely (I think, hopefully). I'm still in high school so both can happen to me because teenagers are petty af. Reasons I have trust issues...

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  • I was never bullied but if I ran into a person I didn't like in high school and they tried to talk to me I would say hello back and low key talk about all my accomplishments and brag about how good I'm doing... plus I look way better now than I did in high school so I'll rub it in their faces.😊😊

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  • Oh yeah, had plenty of those. They're idiots who think you were friends with them... and not enemies.

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  • It's a societal norm. You're not supposed to air your dirty laundry or grievances like that, especially as an adult. Sucks, but... society.

    And I've heard of this happening to several people. It's annoying that they just don't care.

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  • Once a piece of shit, always a piece of shit. They don't have enough character to own up to what they've done and apologize. They're just not human enough.

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  • They don't feel guilty.

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  • Most bullies erroneously believe that what happened "all those years ago," was in the past and there were and aren't any ill effects laid about their victims. To be fair, some bullies were 'that person' all those years ago, and have changed and don't treat people the way they did you aunt anymore, but just not enough to actually make amends.

    My brother was a major bully in high school... we're talking literally shoving people in lockers and throwing water into them, and he's said to me many a times that he regrets the absolute jerk he was to those kids, but even though I know he's a great person now, I doubt he'd actually ever seek out or try to apologize for what happened because although he's often thought about his behavior, life has moved on and for him, that was the past.

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  • I'm not a bully, but I think having someone bring up something embarrassing from high school would humiliate me more than moving on from it.

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  • Maybe they feel bad for what they did and are trying to change.
    When I do something wrong and finally get out of it, I try to leave it in the past and would rather not bring it up.

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  • I think they're so ignorant and they should be called out and then written off

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  • Time to move on. Seriously. If she wants an apology then ask for one. She isn't owed one. They probably don't even re, ever 'bullying' her

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