Why do guys not care about a woman's education/salary?

I never ever understood this.

I would think a lot of guys would want a girl who helped him out with finances etc.

I mean even in University, guys date girls who don't really study yet they're studious themselves.

Why? It doesn't make sense.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Where did that come from? That's just nonsense, and a little offensive, so of course, you post anonymous!!
    I can't tolerate a stupid woman, just using her body to get by!! It's sad, really, because a lot of studies have shown that women are maybe a little better at math, and some sciences, when they actually engage, and work on that!
    Why would you just totally disrespect yourself, and all your gender, posting this?
    Yeah, maybe some shallow d-bag guys want idiot girls, but I don't think that you are like that, and I think you posted this question, hoping you are wrong, and I think you are!!
    If women want to be equal, don't post stuff like this!! I love women, and I HATE how you seem so predisposed to degrade, and denigrate yourselves!! Guys don't even need to joke, or be misogynists!
    Seems to me that women do it to themselves!!
    What does it take for you, as women, to see how AMAZING YOU ARE, and stop putting up with all this sht, and assuming, or just agreeing, to be somehow something less than you are?

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    • It's just based on observation. Lots of guys date women in University who are not really 'smart' as in they don't try.

      Math students dating art majors and stuff it's crazy and makes me wonder if they're using them.

      But your point is interesting... do you mean to say that women don't like math-based subjects but when they force themselves to study they're good at it?

      I think I'm one of those people. Maybe not at Math itself, but on courses like Economics that have some quant. background

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    • Out of curiosity... are there any studies on how women are better at math if they actually try?

      When I was in school man oh man I hated math. But I was above average at University.

      It made me wonder... just because I hate something doesn't mean I'm not good at it. It just means I hate it and I'm not putting in effort because of that.

      Even in University when I actually tried, I'd get like amazing marks in quant. courses it was crazy

    • I can't site any, from memory! Google it, and see!!
      My main point is that women are AT LEAST EQUALS to men (Actually, I think you are a bit better!!, but I'm OK with that!)
      If your focus isn't Math, focus on what you like, and are good at, and just ignore all the BS!!
      Just focus on what you want to, and do well, and forget about all the little tramps with the idiot guys that you probably don't really want!! You will find someone you like, in some class, in something that you are interested in, and that's better, sharing an interest!!

Most Helpful Girl

  • guys only expect a girl to help him out with finances if she is ugly or fat. if a girl is really good looking they dont care about her study habits. guys dont fall for girls based on the kind of grades she makes. the fall in love with their eyes and how she makes him feel when he's around her

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    • You know the thing with beauty is that it fades.

What Guys Said 28

  • To me it was never necessary for a woman to earn an income. I have my own.

    But her education definitely *could* matter.

    I've always been attracted to women with a passion for something. It doesn't have to be scholarly. She could be a broke fine artist with a passion for painting, still a quality I can love. She could be a dancer, an athlete, a writer, a struggling musician, etc. She could be a historian, a scientist, a surgeon.

    What matters to me is that she's passionate about a subject. That interests me.

    I ended up marrying a career woman (writer, editor, and publisher), but her salary was never the point of attraction. it was her looks (she looked stunning in a dress, slim figure), her sophistication, the worldly nature she had (she loved traveling), and her passion for literature. It made for far more interesting conversations than I'm used to having.

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    • Without meaning to discriminate or generalize too much though, girls in the "nerdier" realms like STEM don't always have that much sexual appeal or the most vibrant sense of humor (often a little dry). That goes for men in these subjects too (though I am one, but an odd partying drunkard one). So those types I often were not attracted to, simply because I never found a female "nerd" that attracted me sexually. It would be a rare find, though she would also be incredibly interesting if she was sexy, worldly, seductive, and had a big sense of humor.

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    • In my case, I was always choosy about whom I loved, not very choosy about whom I slept with. So before finding my wife I ended up being with over 40 women before I really found "the one".

      That's the easiest way to "not settle", to keep searching, to keep trying, because love isn't always so easy to develop. I used to have a much narrower set of preferences for what type of women I liked, and I found one that almost perfectly fit the ideal "resume", only to find I didn't really like her at all. It's because I built that idea of the perfect woman based on inexperience and fantasy, not through the course of being with many women.

      After being with many women, my idea of an ideal woman actually became broader and broader, more and more ill-defined, because each woman often showed me something I liked that I didn't think I'd like, or showed me something I disliked that I thought I liked.

    • >> My dad and mom never got along or respected the other.

      In my case with my wife, it took an exhaustive search to find her, but with her we're the "annoying" couple -- the one still holding hands, cuddling every day, we still always have a blast together on the weekends, and active sex life still after 8 years of being together.

      The reason we're doing so well, I believe, is because we both fell madly for each other. It wasn't because she fit some ideal resume of a girl. I dated her and I fell in love with her, and she fell in love with me. It's that simple.

  • I care about intelligence rather than all that, I don't think education/salary define someone's intelligence so I don't really care about it personally, if she seems smart from talking to her that's enough for me. I guess a lot of girls care about it more because men are naturally the providers and therefore education/salary/status etc all contribute to a man's ability to provide and a man of high status is more desirable as it's considered a trait of a man to be a leader.

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  • Tradition. Men were/are the ones expected by society to be the bread winners and need to make money to appeal to women. Which is the biggest motivating factor. There will always be those rich guys where their wealth is their entire livelihood, but honestly, for a lot of guys, they just don't really care about material things or their particular quality. As long as they have the essentials and things are functional. As Dave Chapelle said, "if men could fuck in a cardboard box, they wouldn't buy a house."

    Ultimately, it just doesn't matter to us. Yes, I'm sure some guys don't want to feel like they are being outdone by their partner (male competitiveness combined with societal expectations), but in reality, not a ton of girls actually want to be with a guy that makes less than them either.

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  • It's not that I don't care at all, there are just other things I value more like: beauty, common interests, sweet and pleasant disposition, similar senses of humor, modesty, low number of sexual partners, etc..

    Also girls tend to gravitate towards men who are wealthier and more educated so by seeking out smarter, wealthier girls I would be wasting my time putsuing girls who would never be interested in me or respect me as a partner. It would be waste of my time and emotional energy.

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    • The thing with beauty is that it fades

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    • @redeyemindtricks
      Fair point but what about my second complaint:

      "I also feel like to be successful in that career you have to have an aggressive take no prisoners attitude which isn't exactly attractive to me."

    • Well, there are lots and lots of different kinds of attorneys. If, say, she works for the public defender's office, or if she's a #nurdgurl who does patent prosecution for an IP law firm, then she's hardly going to be the kind of über-bitch you have in mind.

      Also -- MUCH more importantly -- it's a terrible idea to assume that *anyone* will approach relationships with ANYTHING like the same attitude with which they approach other things in life (like work).
      I mean... wut?

      How many MEN do you know who are ruthless throat-cutters in the business world, but who are pussyfooters who let their wives walk all over them and eventually take them in a ruinous divorce? (I know more than a few)

      How many soft-spoken women in nonprofit careers suddenly become crazy OCD control-freak bitches when they go home? (Lots and lots of them)

      Etc.

      Assuming people are consistent across their lives is a colossally huge mistake.

  • Attractiveness and personality are what really matter. I prefer a beautiful, loving, and caring girl as a partner instead of an ugly/attractive, bitchy, and successful grl.

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    • Even if she was an art major?

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    • Sure you'd feel like that 5 years down the road? When you have to marry this girl and left to always wonder, as harsh as it sounds, whether if you married another one you would be better financially well off, while also having someone who was more like you?

    • No. I wasn't raised to think that women should be measured for what they can provide in terms of finances. I'm doing my postgrad studies now, and i still feel the same. My last girlfriend was a Chicano Latino studies major and I loved her, but she moved out of the country. If she would've stayed, her and I would've been married.

      My dad has his PhD also in engineering, makes really good money, and he married my mom who didn't even go to college.

      My brother is also making good money as an investment banker, and he's engaged to a mexican girl who didn't even go to college.

      My sister became a social worker, and she married a pediatrician.

  • I don't care about a woman's education, unless it's science, technology, engineering, or mathematics. Call me elitist, but we have to work way harder than some humanities major like English, English literature, art, psychology, sociology, education, etc.

    And education isn't everything. I saw people who dropped out of high school who became self-taught mathematicians/computer programmers and they make bank.

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    • Is psychology really an easy major? I thought... it's a science backdrop. You technically could go to med school with that degree

    • Only if you take the requirements for med school as well. There's MCAT and things like that to take into consideration.

      To me though, unless you're a STEM major, most college degrees are toilet paper.

  • Traditionally most guys have been the breadwinner. And women have dated in their own financial bracket. So a woman who is too successful is likely to leave a guy who doesn't meet them on a financial level.

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    • Hmm. I think for me it's more about people being on the same level.

      LOTS of rich guys don't marry beautiful women who are not smart. Because they'd prefer someone who is the same as them.

  • As for myself, I would prefer a woman with an education and a career. It would help with expenses and you could save more for the future.

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  • Cause most guys care for their own money unlike most girls who look for a sugar daddy... Or a "care taker" when they get pregnant

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    • Look you know to be fair to those women... I think it's not their fault it's more like they weren't taught that they shouldn't be aspiring for that.

      Personally, I was pushed by my mom to study something which I wouldn't say I didn't like, but wasn't something I absolutely loved either.

      I feel proud of myself and more importantly happy I did it. But sometimes I feel like lots of families, LOTS of them, they don't encourage the women at all! They make the males study something super difficult and the women are like aww it's okay you just have to be pretty.

      And then years later, the girl is sort of nowhere. It's not fair to her because she should've been encouraged from a young age now that she's older she has a lack of options

    • i´m sorry xD this sounded negative. it wasn´t meant like that. i didn´t want to say that girls are not raised to not achieve anything. i meant that guys don´t care for that, cause that´s not what they look for in a girl anyway. you can be proud of it but don´t epect guys to care :D

      after all for guys it is about beauty. yes, empathy and intelligence is important too but you can have that without a degree. guys however are expected (by most girls) to bring home the big money and have a good job. and since guys are already expected to do so, guys don´t look for that in their partners.

  • I think many of them do care. More money is more fun.

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    • I don't even think it's about money.

      Wouldn't a guy want a smart girl who he can consider on 'his level' compared to a girl whose not the brightest?

    • Perhaps, it would depend on a number of factors. Guys have a tendency to pick up girls who they think they have a chance with, so many bright, beautiful women are just passed over as he thinks that he doesn't have a chance.

  • I don't have a job and that's the main reason women don't want me.

    Women having an education and a salary doesn't make a difference because I'm always paying out of my pocket, not them.

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    • Women are extremely stingy with money.

      Women will do anything for money.

      Some men have given up on money. These men will build humanity's future together.

    • The men who make money are the stingiest of all.

      Unless they give up making money, they have no future.

  • Because I would want someone I connect with. I don't need to be rich to be happy.

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    • It's not even about money. It's about wanting someone who was equal to you.

      Think about the state of mind who has to work long hours every day would he really want to come home to a girl who wasn't sensible?

    • Sensible has nothing to do with education, but if she was at least somewhat serious about whatever she pursued, that's important.

    • I'd be happy with whatever she was passionate about. Of course I wouldn't want a lazy partner.

  • i dont care how much money she makes but i am super interested in how materialistic she is.

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  • Because many have not been put into a situation where their income isn't sufficient to achieve a comfortable standard of living in addition to providing enough for retirement. Those who do not make a lot of money and live in the expensive areas tend to care about the woman's income a whole lot more.

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  • Because my mom is already super hella rich and i don't bang thinking id marry em lmaoo

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  • Because in our society men have always been the providers, women just recently started to become more financially independent... plus if a girl is nice and somewhat attractive then thats what most guys usually care about

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    • ha ha I'm not nice. I mean I am, but I can be pretty mean and difficult.

      But it's fine. I think I'll be financially independent in a few months too hopefully. Hope I get a job (fingers crossed)

    • Hopefully, it's hard to get a job these days let alone a good one.

  • I don't care about that, rather intelligence :p

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  • Men get tiny dick syndrome when their girl earns more and is smarter. Most men would rather have a hot dumb chick who depends on their money and is too dumb to know how stupid he is. That means you need to find the smartest guy in the room.

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    • The problem with the smartest guy in the room, is that he could be an ass who thinks he's better than others.

    • That's okay as long as he doesn't think he's better than you.

    • Till how long?

      See that's actually the million dollar question. Sure he won't think he's better than me today. Or tomorrow. Or even a year or two down the line.

      But 5-10 years? 10-20 years? Okay maybe 30 years... that feeling will come at some point.

      I don't want this life of guys running after young women once their wife ages etc. and sometimes I fear that's what's going to happen if I don't choose properly.

      It's complicated.

  • I've never dated girls who are doing poorly in school, and never will.

    And you're right. I certainly do want to marry an intelligent and financially competent wife. It's better for our kids and our relationship.

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    • And as for your question, I think it's because guys generally have much lower standards for women; they're just happy to pickup whoever that comes along.

    • What do you mean by poorly?

  • Because men aren't as shallow as girls and date girls based on their personality.

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  • Education is important
    Salary is not
    Actually her money is only hers
    While she spends from mine

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    • Yeah this is what I thought most guys approach would be

    • I wouldn't like my woman to be working to provide money
      She's working for fun
      She has the luxery that if she woke up and decided not to go to work she won't worry about living

      But not all guys like that,

  • I do...

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  • I think it's Bullshit what the other guys on hear are saying.
    The only reason for not to want you making money if it's going to be a long term thing is control.
    I think we want horny and hot more than women do though so maybe that sort of clouds over our judgment on other things at first. but as soon as you start talking combining finances or just living together it matters even if most guys won't say it does.

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    • In university I think guys date girls who don't really study because they like sex and to have someone they can open up to to help them deal with the stress.

    • EXACTLY. This is what I was looking for lol.

      How unfair it is of them to use those poor girls like that honestly

  • We earn so we can provide. We want a girl who makes us happy. If we want to have kids we want a good mother. If we can't afford to be sole provider we will be considering that, by it's a practical aspect not one that impacts is emotionally.

    Men just didn't evolve to seek out good providers period. And to males intuitively, any desire by women to be with a guy who is successful seems like gold digging, like she doesn't care about him. I had to learn to see the difference between gold digging and caring about his success as an attraction factor. When we look at women her earning is not 'her' it's just something that happens to be attached to her.

    As for intelligence, in theory it's not that important. Would you love your parents or children less if they were less intelligent? To us it's like that. In practice I have always dated smart women; they cared more about my intelligence so I was more successful with them.

    Plus I suck at flirting with dumb women. I go double entendre heavy and they get confused and it's a disaster ;)

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  • That's just how guys think

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  • who says guys dont want a girl who can provide, but guys dont really care because money doesn't have anything to do with love. and plus girls who have it all dont care to have us, or if a guy is in a lower class and she's not she wouldn't even look at or notice him, unless it seems he has something to offer by approaching instead of her, its like jack dawson with rose dewitt bukater on titanic, she was a spoiled brat who couldnt make up her mind. and go for what she wants, jack had to knock sense into her to grow up. this is a good example of how high class women are like, even if a girl is very attractive she is still considered high class, and out of our league, and its why its better for the girl to approach the guy she wants, its always up to a girl anyways.

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    • Well I *did* like this 'lower' class guy so to speak, because he was smart.

      But he didn't like me and made it a point to show me that he didn't.

      Jerk.

    • yeah you said it he was a jerk, and im sorry that happened to you. oh well better luck next time, just find someone else and approach him, plenty of guys out there ya know.

  • Because men look at the person not how much we can leech off of them.

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  • Speaking from a college guy (me), I could care less how much she studies as long as she's attractive, and like able.

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    • Why? Would you want this girl as your wife?

What Girls Said 9

  • Because guys don't get taken care of by women financially. The vast, vast majority of women wouldn't be okay with that kind of arrangement. Guys know they're going to have to earn their own way, because they can't marry a girl with money who will be the primary breadwinner.

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  • i guess its coz they ve insecurities... as far as the guys i know they r more insecure than girls... so they wanna seem dominant n manly... thats the interpretation i ve

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  • They might also lack something.. that's what I think

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  • Maybe they want to be in charge. Or maybe they think someone well educated wouldn't be that much into maintaining her appearance. Or that she'd be less feminine.

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    • Lots of beautiful women who are clever.

      Maybe they don't feel like the girl will respect him if she's 'better' or equal to him?

    • Possibly, might feel emasculated.

  • No. What doesn't make sense is this question. I've literally never met anyone who didn't care about their partners salary or education. Ever.

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    • Lots of guys in University date girls who are not in challenging majors

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    • Like if I had done something I hypothetically was super passionate about, (I actually realized I wasn't passionate about it when I took electives so it's hypothetical), like English and that hypothetically paid a lot, I wouldn't really have a problem with the guy's education or salary.

      Because my education was something I did because I wanted to, not to earn a pay cheque.

      If that makes sense lol

    • Yeah I know what you mean. I'm a little bit of both. Chasing something I'm passionate about, but also chasing a decent paycheck to set my life up :P
      Nope, I turn 21 this year, and I skipped 2nd grade in school. Just didn't take a year or two off between high school and university

  • I date men who are always surprised that I own books.

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    • ps: I am not joking.

    • Really? But I thought men assume that women like literature and reading and all that stuff. Sometimes I feel like they think it's the other stuff, like maybe technology that they don't understand.

    • Truly.

      ie: Most men initially have like ZERO expectations of me, so almost ANYTHING is an achievement.

  • cuz it doesn't get their dicks hard

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    • Beautiful women can be intelligent too

    • I think most guys won't care as long as they are physically attracted to her so a beautiful girl's intelligence would be considered a bonus.

  • This isn't simply true. When a guy is dating he doesn't really have any care for the girls salary but if marriage and when finances start becoming mixed e. g. Buying things together you bet they'll care

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  • Because they want to have full control over you. Notice how many men prefer their wives to be a stay-home mamma? Feminism has fucked up their lives so by leaving women without any income makes women go nowhere. Then they can get back their power.

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