Why do people think people choose to be gay?

I've heard this a lot. what do you guys think? do you think people choose to be gay? if so why? and on a side note.

Does that mean straight people choose to be Straight?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes gay people choose to be gay and straight people choose to be straight.

    Just like if there's an apple and a banana on the table, I choose apple. I could have chosen banana but I didn't coz I chose the apple.

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What Guys Said 13

  • There is no gay lol. You just say no homo.

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  • I don't believe your sexuality is a choice. You are born that way.

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  • Because there isn't much biological point to being homosexual. After all, the primary purpose of sexual behavior is reproduction. If you have sex that doesn't contribute to reproduction, then what's the point?

    So people assume they just choose to deviate from the norm.

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  • I don't ever recall choosing to be straight... it is just what my urges told me when I was young.

    I gather a gay person would have these same urges just towards another person of the same sex. The only difference is they are ridiculed for what is just a natural phenomenon.

    I don't think it is a choice, I believe some people choose to ignore it, but in their heart and mind, they have known all along.

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  • I don't know. Guys especially. Any guy who says that is full of shit. You know how I know? Every guy has ever lived has gotten a boner against their will at least 500 times. Shit, if the wind blow the wrong way, you get a boner. So if y'all can't differentiate getting your dick wet and an e5 tornado, what in God's name makes you think a gay guy can choose to get a boner when he sees a long chode?

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  • People who are ignorant of science (like those who wrote holy scripture like The Bible and The Quran) didn't understand that homosexuality was the result of mutation; this ignorance is especially so because many mutations are inheritable while homosexuality is often not inherited because the mutations occur during gestation, so people would more likely think it is a choice than a biological imperative.

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  • I always wonder that myself. I'm straight guy but I think people say that because let's say people who are close to them suddenly comes out of the closet and they can't deal with that, so they come up with that bs excuse for people being gay. Also, I know some boys and girls say they are gay because they can't stand being hurt by the opposite sex so dating the same sex will make their problem fix. To me that's pathetic because even some gay people hurt other gay people. You can't escape.

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  • I think that what people are interested in is not encoded in their DNA. What turns people on is a result of their experiences and is largely influenced by the person's own thoughts and their perceptions of those around them. I don't think anyone *is* straight or gay, but they make conscious choices to indulge their own interests, which change all the time. So I'm much more on the "choice" side.

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  • Why does it even matter?

    Live and let live

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  • I think people are born straight or gay. It's not a choice at all.
    I am straight and there is no way someone could change me to become gay because I am straight since I was born.

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  • cause they're uninformed

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  • i think its both.. some choose it, but some were genuinely born that way

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  • straight people are sexually normal, because a guy is meant for a girl and vise versa, but to answer your question no, gays/lesbians are born that way, and its the same thing as being born with retardation, or a disorder, because people who are attracted to the same gender are sexually retarded or sexually disordered. the same as being bi-sexual, just another form of sexual disorder.

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What Girls Said 13

  • Somebodysayscheese saying to ask the gays whether they were born gay but blocked me when they were being homophobic last night! To me, a lesbian.

    You're born gay, yes. Ain't a damn thing you can to change it. I could date men for the rest of my life, & still be gay.

    Only people who become gay are radical feminist political lesbians. A fun fact is that I used to identify as polilez while in a relationship w/a man, like, internally. I used to think "I'm bi, but I wish I was a lesbian. I wish I only loved women." But, I loved my partner (it was confusing & complicated), and didn't want to leave him, especially bc I'd have nowhere to go---I don't have a family, and I was told I had no money (that was untrue). He used to say to me, "if you leave where will you go?" & "no-one will put up with your shit like I do, Alex."

    When we broke up, I started identifying as lesbian p immediately, lol. No-one turns gay---we already are. We're born, not made. We can pretend (as the polilezzies can)---sometimes our acts are so convincing, we fool ourselves. I fooled myself for a long time, and didn't realise I was a dyke til I was 20. Of course, I had been bullied for it, at school, nonetheless! I love being a lesbian, but I wouldn't have had those longings feelings of, "I want to be a lesbian," if I hadn't been one. It used to really ache; I used to pick fights w/my ex, he had a short fuse anyway, would hit me anyway, whatever I did, so I may aswell have used it to my advantage, somehow. I used to half-hope he'd break up w/me. But I hadn't the heart to do it, myself.

    (I wanted to give an interesting answer, sorry for rambling).

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    • I agree that we dont choose it, but is it true we're *born* lesbians? What inherent biological feature makes us gay? It was always my view that, as with Wittig, "oppression creates the sex, not the contrary" - so too it must create the sexuality...

    • @Laura_Marx Do you mean to say that we are made lesbians through trauma, or like, oppression, similarly as w/gender? It's an interesting theory, and one I can definitely respect, but I'm worried about discussing such things in public; where it can give men the idea lesbians can 'overcome' their dis-attraction to them, you know? I think some things have to be watered down for the hets; /not/ respectability politics, for safety. I don't rlly know if we're born this way, but hets like the idea we are unwilling victims of our sexuality who had no choice in the matter, & we should be pitied. ~Of course it's wrong, but we can't help it.~ (This is more respectability politics than the fear a man will think he can 'turn' me, but yeah...)

      It's a strategy, you see?

  • From expierence, I think it's less they think people chose to be gay, they think we chose to stay gay. They want us to be straight, and in hetero relationships even if we are attracted to the opposite sex. They want us to 'stop' being gay.

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  • I also wonder that myself, if being gay is something you were born with or you acquire later in time as you grow up. There are people that simply by looking at them physically you can easily tell they are gay, even if you dont know the person is gay but seeing them it is noticeable they are. So in this case is it that you were born with or get it later in time?

    I also want to know what about those gay men that got married with straight people, even have kids with them, but years in the future they found out they were homos. How can you call this? Born with or acquired it later?

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  • Same goes with me, people think that I chose to like guys and girls alike. Or its because of the so-called "trend" to be bisexual.

    NO, its not because of that. I've always known this about me ever since I was in 8th grade, when I started noticing people that I was attracted to.

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  • people don't choose to b gay, they just are. in this harsh world, i doubt being gay makes ur life easier

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  • Because some people think that being gay it's just a lifestyle. They think people woke up one day and decided to be gay. They don't understand that people were born this way.
    I don't think anyone chooses to be gay or straight.

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  • Nobody chooses to be gay

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  • Well we know your born straight. Science never said your born gay so ask them.

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  • I don't know, maybe they aren't educated enough on the topic of the LGBTQ Community.

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  • It is proven that is it passed down maternally. It is genetic. You dont choose it.

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  • Good question! I don't know. I definitely didn't choose to be bisexual. I wish I was straight or gay!

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  • No one chooses to be gay. I know someone who is gay and has told me and a couple of others he wished he was straight sometimes. You are what you are and you can't choose, pray the gay away, or "fix it" because that is how you were born. Simple.

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  • I am bi myself and no you do not choose. Like for me I am just attracted to both men and women and its nothing that I can change.

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