Girlfriend lost her granddad. What should I do about it?

Yesterday evening everything was fine untill I got a phone call from my girlfriend. She was crying and told me her granddad had killed himself and had been found dead by a neighbor. I took my time listening, but I was otherwise lost at what to tell her since I have never been good comforting grieving people.

She did mention though that her grandpa has never done the family any good and that she 'barely knew him', yet she found it weird that she cried. She also thought it was incredibly selfish of him to take his own life like that and mentioned him as being a pig. So basically, my girlfriend is in a state of sorrow, anger and shock.

She had to hang up to call her mom and I left her a text saying she could call me anytime, which she did respond to. I checked on her this morning and she said she was fine. I have tried to send her a couple of snapchats to make her think of something else, but she has responded to none.

We are going to see each other the 2nd, but in the meantime how should I act around this tragic thing? Should I attempt to contact her again or leave her by herself for a while?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe just send her another message to assure her that she is free to reach out to you whenever she feels like needing someone to listen. And that you're there for her if she just needs to talk about it and then give her some space.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You don't really have to do anything special. What's important in such a situation is that you show to the other person (in this case your girlfriend) that you care. This can be done by patiently listening and asking a few questions. For example you could ask some harmless questions about him or you could also ask her how she feels right now etc.. You don't need to buy any gifts or stuff like that. Just show your girlfriend that you care and that you're there for her. Maybe she needs to have a shoulder to cry on, maybe she also just needs somebody to talk to about the whole thing to make herself feel better. Personally, I always need to talk a lot about it if something sad like this happens. People have different ways of dealing with these kind of things. Maybe she also wants to just sit next to you or cuddle with you and be quiet. So the most important thing is that you're there for her.
    One thing I don't recommend is sending her text messages about something completely different. I know you were trying to make her think about something different but when people go through these kind of things, they often interpret it very different. For example if my grandma died and my girlfriend made some casual jokes or told me something about her friends or whatever, I think I would feel like she doesn't even care. So I suggest you stay on this topic until you are sure that your girlfriend is more or less okay again. She should be the one who initiates talking about a different topic.

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