How to keep the creeps away at a bar?

I'm a metal head. There is this bar that I often go to alone (yeah, my friends are pop music fans) to just headbang and take my mind off things after a tired week. I have no intention of having a one night stand with a guy I meet at a bar. I just want to listen to some good music for God's sake!

But whenever I go there, there is at least 5 creeps staring at me over the crowd and they are like old creepy fucking dudes. Like 20+ years older than me and some of them tried to touch me when I'm dancing to the music.

Now I'm new to clubs and bars and I don't know what to do in a situation like this. I'm a small girl and afraid of making a scene. There's this guy there that I met last week, he is a nice guy, a regular at the bar. And he said to me "do not come here alone" But I have no fucking friends that enjoy metal so I "have to" go there alone.

What should I do?

  • Call over the waiter/bartender etc.
    38% (12)25% (13)30% (25)Vote
  • Be around that nice guy.
    56% (18)52% (27)54% (45)Vote
  • Scream and make a scene.
    6% (2)23% (12)16% (14)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If someone told you not to go there alone there is probably a valid reason. I would take that advice.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, it's not that hard.

    1. Do not acknowledge their existence. If they stare, don't make eye contact.

    2. If they come up to you, just be like me and be blunt as fuck.

    "Can I buy you a drink?"
    Me: "No thanks."
    "Why?"
    Me: "Because I don't want to waste your time and money. I'm flattered and all but if you don't mind, I'm just here to see the show, nothing else. Sorry."

    If they touch you, literally just turn around and tell them to fuck off. That tends to work too.

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What Guys Said 25

  • You can't take up the nice guys time very time you go there, and he might not even be there, so that will not work. And the other two answers will not work either. You should ask a male friend to accompany you there once in a while. Or get two or more to share that "duty".

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    • Lmao that was funny!

    • you don't understand, they're fucking touching me, not "approaching" me in a nice way, like a normal/non-creepy guy would do.

    • Lol I get it OP. I work as a bouncer on the weekends. You should start going out and have a guy with you or in your crowd.

  • I think you should find a few friends in the bar cuz you will feel a lot more comfortable if you aren't being stalked by a bunch of old perverts and actually have some decent men to talk to.

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  • I would suggest you either stay at the bar while listening to the music, make a friend that's interested in the same music as you are so you can take with you, or stay near the nice guy if he's around. You stay as far as you can away from those guys that keep staring at you. If they do decide to harass you, then make a scene.

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  • Dress like a butch lezza.

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  • go with your nice guy friend. it sucks that you can't go alone without being bothered by these guys.

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  • You can try wearing unappealing clothes or something like that, but getting approached by men is pretty much part of being a girl. The guys are trying to find a girl to get to know or have sex with and they know they pretty much have to approach women for that to happen. I don't think there's a way except for trying to look unattractive or look like you're with another person.

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  • Thats the nature of the beast with a bunch of drunks in a bar/club. You can try to call over a waiter I guess, but that won't really do much. You probably have the grounds to slap someone if theyre putting their hands on you but that won't solve much either.

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  • Too bad, that's what a bar is for: picking up chicks and a one night stand. It's like going to a protest rally for the snacks and getting tired of people handing you fliers.

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  • Tell them u are a Lesbian it Will work ;D

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  • Go with that guy, that's the only way you will be able to somehow repel guys.

    But if you are open to talking to any guys at all, then go alone.

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  • Just punch them in the face

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  • or you can just stop being an anti social bitch swallow your pride and actually acnowledge the fellow humans just wanting to say hi.

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  • Listen to music at home if you want to listen to music. I don't go to a strip club because i like cheesy pop music and then complain about strippers hustling me.

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    • There is live music and amazing band there.

  • that´s how it works. have a friend with ou that can zone that guys out and if they get aggressive, make a scene.

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  • perhaps u r complaining of crocodiles in a river.

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  • peper spray would do the trick.

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  • Simple... don't go to bars !!

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  • Making a scene will call over more people than just the waiter/bartender

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  • Don't go to the bar. Simple as that.

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  • Don't wear shorts skirts and dresses

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  • A and C are good ones sometimes you just have to make a scene.

    A nice way of doing it is just say sorry sir I don't have daddy issues.
    Shout stop touching me

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  • You want a friend to go with.
    If you don't have one maybe stick near a bouncer?

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    • Sometimes bouncers will even try to pickup woman though. I've gone to three different pubs and this has happened to me. I agree that It would be best to go with a friend.

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    • Just need to be careful that's why it's always best to go with someone else especially when drinking :-). One of the ones openly admitted he had a wife and showed me a picture of his wife but was trying to cheat on her, I know a few who where decent and actually cared about watching out for people. I understand that not all of them are like that I'm just saying she would also need to watch out for the bouncers intentions also.
      People just need to be careful out there when going out alone, especially when drinking as you usually drop your guard.

    • @ThatUnknownGirl Yes I agree you should be careful especially if your a girl.

  • you should help out those old men... they just tryng to get it in!

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What Girls Said 11

  • Maybe stop going there unless/until you find somebody willing to go with you. I mean I know none of your other friends like that music but... that guy is right, you could get yourself in a bad situation with nobody there to have your back. The guys that keep staring at/messing with you could start noticing that you always show up alone and decide to drug your drink or something or follow you one night. Because honestly there's only so much the bartender/waiting can do while they're trying to work, and there's no point in screaming and making a scene. I guess stick around the nice guy if you feel comfortable enough around him

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  • A may be the best option.
    Rape usually happens by someone who the victim knows and half/trusts, so... that may actually be that nice guy at the end of the day.

    So I say find some friends your own age that would enjoy metal and go with them or I guess call the waiter... but... I say it's not smart going to clubs alone - no matter how old you are.

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  • You don't "have" to go alone because you don't "have" to go.

    If you're that uncomfortable, don't go. Or find a friend who IS into that music style and then bring them.

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  • Its easy, lie and say you have a boyfriend you dummy. If he continues you have every right to roll your eyes at him and tell him to leave you alone since he's hitting on you while you have a "boyfriend" unless you're interested in the guy of course.

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  • A or B, whichever you feel comfortable with.

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  • Just ignore them... worst comes to worst use pepper spray them.

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  • Wear that sign that says...
    wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/.../high-maint.jpg

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  • Carry pepper spray

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  • Tell them to fuck off that simple. If they don't that's what bouncers are for

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  • Keep meeting people until you're part of a friendly group.

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    • Bartenders usually have friends at the bar - good source of expanding your social circle.

  • Don't go to a bar. No matter what you do the creeps will still be there.

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