Do you think it's OK for a person's life to revolve around their husband/wife or bf/gf? Is there nothing to life but get married/make babies?

I know so many people that have nothing going on in their lives other than their boyfriends or girlfriends or husbands and wives. And to be honest, it's actually mostly girls.

I would say that 90% of my girlfriends' lives revolve around their husbands. It's all they have to talk about... they literally have nothing going on. They don't have their own hobbies, they just do whatever their husbands do.

I actually don't know any guys who do this, but I made my question gender neutral in case other people do know men who do this as well.

But what do you think? I usually try to not care about what others do, but when I hang out with my friends and all they talk about is their husbands, and how they're just happy being married, and are dying to have babies, it just makes me wonder if there is more to life and I'm just stupid for thinking there IS more to life than getting married and popping out babies. They're so obsessed with babies and I feel like they are competing over who knows more about babies. I went to dinner with my friends last night and some of my girlfriends who are trying to get pregnant were trying to act like they know more than my other girlfriends who have already had babies, and I just kind of sat back and watch them all argue and was like "yeah I gotta go, peace girls". LOL it's so baffling.. is there really nothing else to do in life?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly im 25 im single and pretty smart, having a fsmily or being with someone and devoting all of your time to them is not a very good life just my opinion, i love kids and women lol hope i said thst right but i wanna explore thebworld see new places meet new people and discover new things, this generation, is consummed with having a family and kids and honestly everyone isn't ready for thst i feel like everyone should think exactly about what they wanna do with there life than do what everyone esle is doing hope this makes sense...

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    • 3mo

      totally agree with you. I'm not judging my friends I'm just wondering how much of them actually WANT a family and children and how many of them are just competing with each other, trying to fit into exactly what we are supposed to be doing, and not considering what they really want. I don't care about what they do anymore, it's just something I think about.

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    • 3mo

      Agreed! :)

    • 3mo

      Hell yea im glad you agree👌👌👌

What Guys Said 14

  • This just goes to show that, no matter how evolved we like to think we are, the truth is that we are HEAVILY driven by our baser, evolutionary instincts, and for (most) women in their late 20s/early 30s, the drive to have children and "nest" is very, very strong. Many will abandon their schooling or careers that they worked so long and hard for without hardly a thought, because their instincts are so strong and embedded so deeply.

    That's all this really is, and it's normal. It will also pass - but the mid-40s means the start of "grandchild obsession" so it's really just a phase in an ongoing cycle...

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  • it's ok for it to revolve around the family

    but it shouldn't necessarily mean that nothing else is in your life. my life revolves around my wife and daughter but i have my friends, family and personal interests that i always make time to foster

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    • 3mo

      Nice to hear you have a balance

  • How are other things "more" in life? How are babies "less" in life? If that's what they choose to do with their lives, and are happy with it, then maybe for them babies and their husband are "more" than whatever you want to do with your life.

    Basically you are making a judgement about what they do. It's like looking down at them for what they choose to do with their lives.

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    • 3mo

      The only reason why I'm judging them is because they all sit together bickering and trying to one up each other and prove that one knows more than the other about pregnancy and babies. It's silly and childish to see. I respect my friends who don't take part in the competition, but the ones who do? Yah they're getting pretty judged.

  • In similair topic I rarely meet girls that have any hobbies or points of interest (except tv shows). Most guys I know are into technology, cars, science, sports or anything similair while most girls only talk about guys/tv shows. I started to like vegan or vegetarian girls because they have at least that in their lives. I do know 2 girls that like to draw though, and I admire them, but they are by far the minority.

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  • Obviously it's OK to have that as your goal in life. Its certainly in line with evolutionary theory. Is it the only way to live? No. Is having other goals OK as well? Yes.

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  • Life is to find happiness, and you don't always have to be married and have kids to be happy

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  • Well it makes sense, because procreation is the primary purpose of every lifeform. Popping out babies is the primary purpose of any female variant of any lifeform on the planet.

    But it's still nice to be your own person beyond that.

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  • We are supposed to be human beings, not parasites, living off of someone else.

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  • My wife is my best friend.

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  • My life is full of friends, family, business, hobbies etc. but it still revolves around my wife. She is my life. Everything elss just supports that.

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  • It's not your life it's their life. People devote themselves to dumber things.

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  • u should have a perfect balance just like ying and yang 50/50 everything needs balance u must be aprt at time to cherish the times u are together

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  • It's more important for one's life to revolve around our sovereign Lord Jesus Christ. The better relationship we have with God, the better relationship we have with others (especially our spouse). The better relationship we have with others, the more worthwhile our life becomes.

    Life on earth is pointless without God. When people force God out of the picture, all you get is meaningless cycles of life and death. The wind goes to and fro, the waters of the earth flow round and round, the sun goes up and down, people are born grow old and die, both the rich and the poor the wise and the foolish go to the same place (six feet under), etc. The life we live is a mere tiny little puff of smoke compared to the rest of eternity.

    It is only when we acknowledge the obvious existence of God and seek to glorify and honor Him the best we can that we begin to find true meaning in life. When we walk in obedience to God, and cherish His majestic presence in our hearts through Jesus Christ, we are fulfilling the very reasons He created us.

    When God created mankind, He said, "Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." (Genesis 1:26) After that, the next verse says,

    "So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them."

    God created us in the image of God. God created us male and female. Therefore, male and female is the image of God. Man was designed to have dominion over the earth, in the likeness of how God has dominion over all existence, then after making the first man (Adam), the Lord God made a point saying, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18) Womankind, in turn, was made as the perfect helper for man, completing the image of God in its fullness.

    The relationship between a man and a woman is a divine reflection of God's glory broadcast across the entire universe. This is why relationships are one of the deepest fundamental aspects of our existence as human beings, and to this day your friends keep talking about it.

    So don't be so surprised when you hear your friends being so preoccupied with their husbands, because that's how God designed them. Male and female are sooo different from each other in many ways, but at the same time they are just as complementary.

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  • Yeah it does seem like that but it's pretty common but not for me anymore

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What Girls Said 9

  • When you get married that is what marriage is about, you and your spouse, raising children, growing old together, doing family things, spending time with friends, and sharing accomplishments. There is a lot to marriage. In fact there is a difference with somebody who is married and who is single. The best thing that can explain it is in the Bible in the new testament. The person who is single is going to be concerned with things that a married person usually wouldn't. Of course as a believer they will be concerned about things God cares about, and how they can please him. Meanwhile married people will be concerned about things that are happening in the world, and how they can please their spouse. That's just how life works. Both sides have benefits, and not everybody can remain single forever. Some thrive better in marriages, and others don't.

    What matters is that their happy and are living life. Your not going to understand that because your not married. It is not the same when your dating. In dating your all about yourself, in marriage you give that up for the needs of your spouse. That goes both ways.

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  • I had a conversation about this with my sister today. She agrees with you.
    She thinks there's more in life than having a boyfriend/getting married and having babies.
    I understand why some women get happy when they're in a relationship or when they get married, and we they have babies.
    There's nothing wrong with that. But at the same I think there's other things do in life. They should love their boyfriends/husbands and kids, but they also should do something for themselves. Something that has nothing to do with their loved ones. Because they're still individuals.

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    • 3mo

      I agree with you. I understand that your family is your #1 (I mean my family are - like my mother and my siblings) but I still need to have something for me... I need to have time to myself sometimes too and do things on my own

    • 3mo

      Exactly. But some women don't understand that.

  • For what *I* want from my life, that is not okay.

    Just because you're dating, doesn't mean every minute needs to be spent with them.

    Makes me sick when women wait around on men's texts.

    - You have children, have a relative watch them. Go out with the girls, go hiking, to the lake, host a small get together.

    Honestly, your life will revolve around them a bit. However, that doesn't mean your social life should come to a complete stop when you have children.

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  • Finding happiness is great, and that can vary person to person. If that is what they want to make them happy, who am I to judge? I know what makes me happy and seek that. I understand what you mean, however, when I talk to some of my friends, all they do is talk about their husbands and children. I just smile and nod, be polite.

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  • once you are in a committed relationship, your partner should always be number 1, your partner should be your best friend. your family #1. you are there for ea other, good and bad.
    you should also have your self time, time with friends, hang out together or sometimes separately to be healthy.

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  • Sure, if we were bionic machines.

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  • If that's what makes them happy than go for it. Who am I to judge someone else's life and goals

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  • I think there are some distinctions that need to be made.

    There are some women and some men who literally cannot live without being in the same air space as their spouse or bf/gf. If you ask them how they are doing, their answer is, let me ask my spouse.

    Then there are just married people. You cannot expect that if two people live together, their lives aren't going to in some way revolve around the other. They are running a family unit together whether they have children or not. It wouldn't make sense for say the husband to go grocery shopping without checking in with his wife to see if she needs anything and vice versa. Spouses tend to do activities together including planning, lol, and creating children. It's a big deal.. well, you know for them anyway.

    I think what you're experiencing is what a lot of people go through when all their friends get married and start having children, and either they don't want to, aren't, or can't do the same. Their friends become part of the married club, and sort of unintentionally you as the one not in the kids/married club, become the outsider because, well, it's their new world now. They like to hang out with other married kid having couples for just such a reason... so they can talk about what else and not have what they feel is judgement about it just as you might feel for not wanting to do the married/kids thing.

    Many of tried to fight these clubs, have tried to put things back the way they were when you used to hang out and talk about anything else but kids/marriage, but it's impossible once that train gets started. You either have to adapt, or accept, or move on, at least part of the time for your sanity, to other people like you, in the singles club that believes that there is definitely more to life.

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  • no those people are annoying. I've never been in a relationship so I have a ton of hobbies I've picked up and I get perfect grades because no destractions. One by one I watch my friends turn into love-drugged zombies in relationships. I had to stop being friends with someone because all he talked about was his girlfriend, his life revolved around her, and he was pretty much turning into what she wanted him to be so he turned annoying.
    Being single I get to be my own person and improve myself. But ignorance is bliss. Who know when I'll turn into a zombie.

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