Girls, have you thought of how adorable it would be to end up pregnant and have a kid in your life one day then realize it seems scary?

Seems scary as in giving labor and feeling like you're in the worst pain you could ever be. And the thought of they might cut you up just for c-section? Or needles injecting or even IV tubes? I know you guys might be saying "Focus on your education"I am. Just curious though.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • isn't it do your damn homework?

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    • 3mo

      Oh I still have one week left before school starts I have nothing else to prepare for. Thinking of going to play basketball later today

Most Helpful Girl

  • I've given natural birth 3 times, no epidural, no nothin' pretty much.

    Obviously, it wasn't the pinnacle of comfort... lol. It's not really the kind of thing that's easy to put into words, although I tried my best to describe it in my opinion here:
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2065826-what-s-it-like-going-through-labor

    __

    Luckily, I didn't ever need a cesarean. (My husband is 3 inches shorter than me; that's probably a big part of why.) That's something doctors are good at performing -- it's the single most common surgical operation in US hospitals, by a big fat long shot -- but, still, some of my girlfriends have come out on the worse end of it.

    First of all, in a C-section they slice right through yr rectus abnominis muscle (the "six pack" muscle) -- so, there's all the crazy shit associated with healing that sort of trauma. (One of my girlfriends had to have an Asian-style squat toilet installed in her house after her C-section, because it took her 8 months to be able to *push* out a bowel movement again. That's the worst I've seen -- some women breeze through the recovery -- BUT STILL.)

    Second... those birthing rooms are fucking MACHINES. They want you in and out. When they sew a woman up after a C-section, they are NOT doing it with ANY sort of mind to aesthetics.
    And so, you'll have women who get sewn up in a way that gives them that "shelf" of skin on their lower stomach -- which will be there in perpetuity, unless they have the mommy makeover surgery to get rid of it. Ugh.

    C-sections aren't all downsides, though. A couple of the upsides --
    • The baby doesn't come down through the birth canal, so you don't have to worry about putting yrself through a rigorous program of Kegel exercises to get yr pelvic floor tone and "tightness" back.
    • Yr body doesn't release as much relaxin (= the hormone that relaxes the birth canal during natural delivery). Relaxin is the hormone that also causes some women's foot ligaments to relax in the same way -- which can lead to increases in shoe size and width. In other words, if you give natural birth, it's a lot more likely that you might suddenly have to sell all yr beloved heels, because they're all a size too small now. (I'm a shoe whore, so I did EVERYTHING in my power to prevent this -- wearing compression stockings nonstop, doing most of my work in bed with my legs up, etc. It worked, but, not every woman has the freedom to do all those things all the time for all those months.)

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    • 3mo

      Couple other thoughts:

      • There will NEVER be a "perfect moment" to have children. You will NEVER feel completely ready, and you will ALWAYS feel like you're "winging it" to some degree.

      Trust me.
      If you wait for "the perfect moment", you'll NEVER have kids. Because you'll be saying "mb 3 years from now"... and then, once those 3 years have passed, you'll be saying "mb 3 years from now"... and once *those* 3 years have passed, "mb 3 years from now"... etc.

      I mean... just to use myself as an example.
      By all means, we've got shit sorted out in our family. We have 3 kids, our household runs like clockwork, our kids have (so far anyway) grown up to be decently respectful and good little human beings, and we don't have any significant financial or logistical stress...

      ... AND STILL, when I sit down and *directly think* about the fact that my husband and I are fully responsible for the lives of these three small people... it's still fucking terrifying.

      Really.

      The biggest comfort lies

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    • 3mo

      I mean, childbirth IS painful as all everloving fuck for a lot of women.

      Tbh, *most* of these tend to be women who have a lower pain tolerance across the board -- but a couple of them were some pretty tough cookies, and their bodies just... weren't made for that to go easy.

      I'd have to see the show, really. But, of course, the hallmark of GOOD television is that it doesn't look *too* obviously overblown when it's overblown. (:

    • 3mo

      That is true. Very true. ha.

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 24

  • redeyemindtricks pretty much summed up most of the technical stuff...

    i never thought of having or not having kids even after i got married. my ex. grandfather was dying of cancer. my husband and i were married and one of his cousins. but they didn't seem like they were planning on having kids either... so i made the suggestion to bring in a new life so that he can become great grandfather in case something happens...

    understand that every woman experience pregancy differently and goes though labor differently.
    to add on to redeyemindedtricks, the best person to understand your body would be your mother. if you have your moms body type and health, chances are yo will have similar birth experience.
    what you can do between now till the time you are ready (5 years, 10 years or 15 years from now) is to eat healthy and excersie daily to prepare your body. it will help with menstrual cramps and make delivery easier.
    my mom was very active and all her delivery were easy (4 kids)
    I take after my mom (2 kids) no epidural. first girl, water never broke. some cramp, i refused to go to the hospotial till i must because i didn't want to have them send me home. by the time i called my doctor, she said to go. I went and they kept me in becaaue i was dilated 6 or 8 cm. noon.. my daughter came around 3, 4 pm... i kept telling them to NOT give me epidural because the demand is so high that it became standard to give.
    2 years later, my son. water broke, 8 pound 15 ounces he also came within 3 hours with no epidural.
    my daughter was just shy of around 5 pounds.

    my older sister take after my fathers genes... her deliveery to her kids were a bit more complicated that i am not going to get into details here.

    hope it helps

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  • This is why it's so important to reproduce with a strong, responsible man who loves you and will fully support you while you give birth. Pushing a human being out of a little hole is going to hard enough so you gotta make sure you have a great doctor who will drug you up and a supportive baby daddy/preferably husband who will be right there with you. And yes, focus on your education. Lol

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    • 3mo

      The idea doesn't scare me. Hospital stuff doesn't make me nervous. I imagine by the time it's go-time, I'll be so relieved to get the child out of my stomach. Pregnant bellies are not comfortable.

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    • 3mo

      What kind of read is that?

    • 3mo

      It was when I was having tough time in life. And two psychologist wrote this book and I guess it's a way to be optimistic with everything.

  • I'm right here with you. Except the thing is I never wanted anything to do with children up until I met my current boyfriend and I actually wouldn't mind all that. Just knowing at the end of the day I have a mini him. I'm still in high school and I don't plan for kids anytime soon though.

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  • This happens to me whenever I "imagine" my future. Its so adorable to have a baby, but damn the pain that comes with it is so hard from what I've heard. And what makes me amazed is that moms go through lots of pain when they give birth to 1 child, yet they still want another baby. So with that said, having a baby is even greater and stronger than that pain. I'll guess I will have to wait my turn to see xD

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  • Yeah, I have. I like to think of being very important to my own flesh and blood, but realize that I wouldn't know how to even care for myself. Plus, the stigma that comes with being pregnant young, money issues, how the family views you, etc. That's why I play Sims. :)

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  • Yes, I thought about it everytime I think about having children.
    I get scared too. So, I hope that if I ever get pregnant I have a baby daddy who's affectionate and patient.
    He won't be able to understand what I'm going through but I hope he is by my side.
    It will mean a lot to me.
    Plus, I want to stay healthy and have a peaceful pregnancy.

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    • 3mo

      *I think about it

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    • 3mo

      My poor mother was one of them :{ It was heartbreaking to hear it from her.

    • 3mo

      I'm sorry to hear that.

  • It's an excellent, heavenly and pure motherly experience. Once a woman gets pregnant willingly and has a new innocent life beside her, she feels herself "complete".
    No doubt pain is essential but soon after birth, mother forgets all pain and problem.

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  • Labor wasn't that bad once they gave me the iv drugs I was chillin and honestly you won't give a shit about them cutting you open once you feel the contractions. I was begging them to cut my ass open but they wouldn't lmfao

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    • 3mo

      So you didn't have to push?

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    • 3mo

      Pretty bad. I couldn't walk. You can't wipe after you pee. You have to spray bottle yourself

    • 3mo

      No wet wipes?

  • I never want to give birth. If I want a kid I'll adopt. The idea of something living inside my body and feeding off of me for nine months still repulses me and I'm 18.

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  • Yeah lol I usually remember that the average kid costs at $150K or more over the course of 18 years... or more Dx

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  • I'm preggo haha excited
    Once you're pregnant, you're not really scared of going through labor bc you'd do anything for your baby

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  • you're 16 why are you thinking about that girl?

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    • 3mo

      I over think things when I see parents with stroller strolling in the mall. Don't think its uncommon.

  • From what my mom says C sections are way easier than natural birth. Probably going to go that route

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  • Yes. Been there, done that already. Millions of women have survived giving birth and one day you probably will too whether it's scary or not.

    The real work comes after the birth, that's the toughest job of your life.

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  • Do I never thought it was cute to be a teen mother. I just wanted to finish school and have a husband with a job that can support the family first.

    Babies and toddlers are cute but I don't wanna be struggling

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  • "might cut you up just for (a) c-section?" How else are you supposed to do it? IVs don't hurt. Contractions aren't terrible at first and if you get the epidural you'll be fine

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    • 3mo

      Why do people scream so much in shows? Or do they exaggerate?

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    • 3mo

      What they go through

    • 3mo

      Yeah... didn't help me much. It sounded interesting but i wish there was a free trial to everything to find what your interests are instead of overwhelming

  • I don't ever want a child.

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  • I've never thought about it being adorable

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    • 3mo

      Not the pregnancy of course. The baby entering into this new world

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    • 3mo

      That is true. What about when you get old and lonely? They could make you chicken noodle soup or bring breakfast to bed. Ooh Mother's day. I know how much mothers look forward for that day.

    • 3mo

      Eh I'll find someone else lol

  • Nope. Never thought of being pregnant as adorable. Grew up watching my cousins get pregnant at a young age and a few of them I helped take care of their kids when I was 16 - 18. I dont view getting pregnant as romantic but as a huge responsibility. Labor is just a small part of having a child.

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  • I've kinda always wanted to have my own babies. I don't know how many but I've always had that desire and dream and baby fever. And I have thought about it. And let me tell you that I'm jealous of my sister because she has the 2 cutest babies in the whole world, a 2 year old boy and a 6 month old baby girl and I just wanna kidnap them and squeeze them... And they do NOT help with the baby fever

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  • Yes, however my mom went through it. Everyone's mom's went through it so I would talk to the moms about it

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  • It's even scarier that you have a 100% dependent human life that doesn't care if you're tired, sick, frustrated, depressed, etc.

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  • I don't see pregnancy as adorable at all.

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