Why do people decide to have kids?

They are expensive!
You have to take care of them all the time!
No rest since after work you have to work as a mom/dad!
You can't buy anything for yourself or save because kids first right?
Life sucks so why bring another human to suffer?
You have to give up your dream in order to keep your kids safe and netural.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "They are expensive" --> Actually, little kids don't cost a lot. My dad once said 'little children don't cost you money, they only cost you nerves'. Babies/toddlers don't eat a lot and some things can be bought in bulks. Children only become expensive once they become teenagers. Luckily, by that time most parents earn quite well and have perhaps even saved up some money.

    "You have to take care of them all the time" --> What if I enjoy doing that? I can't think of something more rewarding than playing with my little son/daughter when I come home in the evening or reading good-night stories to them. What else would I do? Sit on the couch and watch TV maybe? Doesn't seem like I'm missing much there. Besides, there's also grandparents and things like daycare.

    "No rest since after work you have to work as a mom/dad" --> I strongly believe that only couples should have children who have a very stable, long-term relationship. You don't need to be married but you should be dating for several years already. If this is the case, you can find good ways to share the work so that both parents get enough time to rest.

    "You can't buy anything for yourself or save because kids first right?" --> Wrong. Yes, children do come first and certain compromises need to be made but that doesn't mean you have to live like a monk. My family always went traveling for example, even when my siblings and I were little. You just need to keep an eye on your finances and get throw your money out the window anymore.

    "Life sucks so why bring another human to suffer?" --> I fundamentally disagree. Life is how you look at it. If you're a bitter, grumpy complainer, life sucks. If you make an effort to see the great and beautiful things in life, it will feel awesome. I am very thankful for the time I have on this earth.

    "You have to give up your dream in order to keep your kids safe and natural." --> Like, what dream? Working your ass off to make career and become some boring old white-bread loser behind a desk who makes lots of money but mostly lives to fulfill his daily routine and suffers from depression at age 55 because the company kicked him out? Eh, no thanks. My dream is having children. I can't think of anything more fulfilling and satisfying in life than giving all my love and responsibility to a child.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • There is a beauty in having kids. <3
    You get to be their role model which forces you to actually be a better you.

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What Guys Said 28

  • They aren't that expensive really. Sure if you're an idiot and you HAVE to buy everything brand new, and you constantly buy them things and cave in when they tantrum, then it will cost you a bomb. If you're smart though it's not that bad.

    As for taking care of them, of course. It's hard work, but you'll never love anything or anybody like you'll love your children, unless you're fucked in the head.

    After work I love spending time with my son, I don't understand people who see it as work.

    As for buying things, it depends on your priorities. I don't care about 'things', I care more about people, my family. I can easily go without having to buy stuff I don't need. I think that's a big problem with society today, everybody is so money obsessed and materialistic.

    What if your dream is to have a big family? I've given up nothing.

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    • 3mo

      Yup, totally agree. People act as though earning money was the non-plus-ultra. Maybe they feel that way at age 20 or 25 but once your 60th birthday comes around, I'm pretty sure many of them will feel dull and empty inside because no amount of money in the world and not even the most powerful job position can make you as happy as having children and a family.
      My mom is a psychologist/therapist and sometimes she has women in their late 40s or early 50s who visit her and tell her how much they regret not having had children when the time was right.
      Maybe going to wild parties and getting drunk seems like fun when you're 20 but when you still do that at age 40 and you pretend to still be 20 in order to show yourself how "free" you are, I personally find that pretty pathetic.

  • Because it's all futile and desperate attempts to try and deny death and the possibility of extinction. Face the FACTS and TRUTH here:

    ALL BIRTHS EVENTUALLY LEADS TO INEVITABLE DEATHS, PAIN, AND SUFFERING!!

    SPECIFICALLY WHEN IT COMES ALL BIRTHS AND CREATIONS OF "BIOLOGICAL-ORGANIC" SENTIENT BEINGS, as of now, anyway.

    MANY People fear that by NOT procreating then it will lead to our very extinction, but the "truth" is if you examine it this way, we're ALL still very fragile, vulnerable, and temporary NO MATTER WHAT THE FUCK WE DO!

    NO MATTER WHAT WE DO, WE CAN AND WE WILL DIE, and WE ALL STILL DIE!

    CLIMATE CHANGE, SUPERVOLCANO, GIANT METEOR, SERIOUS OUTBREAK OF SOME PLAGUE OR PANDEMIC, OR SOME OTHER GREAT COSMIC FORCE, ETC. AND WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD EITHER WAY!!

    THE SYSTEMS THAT HAD BEEN ESTABLISHED BEFORE US COMING INTO EXISTENCE INTO THIS WORLD AND REALITY ARE CORRUPTED TO THE CORE AND VIRTUALLY AND COMPLETELY RIGGED AGAINST US.

    AND THE SYSTEM TAKES ADVANTAGE OF THOSE OF US THAT ARE INERT, SO HOPELESSLY DEPENDENT ON THE SYSTEM.

    Take your pick, you want to be someone's parents. Then do it right, marry the "right" person, for the "right" reasons and don't EVER expect or believe in fairy tale happily ever after endings, as it will require much hard work, patience, compromise, negotiations, etc. Because if someone marries for the WRONG FUCKING REASONS then they will also have children for the WRONG FUCKING REASONS, and then guess what?

    Their children are the ones that are going to get FUCKED OVER when a divorce or split happens or when their parents become abusive towards one another and constantly fight all the time, etc.

    And because of reason mentioned above, there are ABSOLUTELY "NO HAPPY" ENDINGS FOR ANY OF US, because it's just that, "ALL OF US WILL DIE EVENTUALLY".

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  • I'm 100% with you, but to many people, being a parent is the most fulfilling thing they'll do in their lives. Not my hustle, but I can't knock it👍

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  • 1: That's why you have em when you're at the financial position to have one.
    2: I suppose you don't have any pets lol
    3: see above
    4: Refer to (1)
    5: Life is awesome.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at_f98qOGY0
    6: You have new dreams. Besides , imagine your father giving you a ride to school on a motorcycle. 😎

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  • Those that have kids for the wrong reasons could have any one of the reasons as such. For example, some people do it to "keep up with the Joneses". Others do it because they think it makes them look mature/responsible, even though they have no clue how to raise kids and don't plan to learn how. There are many reasons why they do it. However, there are also people who have kids that have GOOD reasons to have them. I agree that not everyone should get married OR have kids. But you can't force someone not to do something. It is their right. I personally wish that people would think it over before making their kids suffer a horrible life.

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  • I completely agree iwth @apple24 on all her points. Which brings me to a quote from an older comedial I heard once and it was perfect. When people learn i'm single, have no kids, haven't been married yet, they ask what do you do? and I reply Well whatever I want :D

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  • No rest since after work you have to work as a mom/dad!
    -- they go to bed relatively early
    You can't buy anything for yourself or save because kids first right?
    -- still buy stuff for myself

    and kids cost what you make of it. sure it's an added expense but so are pets. outside of college (if you pay for their higher education) you can really make it so raising a child is affordable

    i understand why it may seem like a strange desire to have kids and agree to an extent. but i'll say i've never felt so satisfied or happy since having a kid. i look forward to leaving work so i can go home and hang out with her. it's the greatest love you can experience

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  • you forgot "I want a career rather than being a babysitter and nurse"

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  • People are fucking crazy

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  • It usually women (that first want them anyway) and they only think of how "cute and adorable" they are, they don't think of all the negatives usually (or they don't care or think it will be that bad until they have them, then they complain). At least one does I see :)

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  • The desire to reproduce is arguably the strongest instinct that we have.
    Freud said that our motivations were 60 per cent self preservation and 40 per cent reproduction, but I would disagree with that because the purpose of self preservation is to survive to reproduce. Therefore, the base motivation for all our actions is reproduction.
    This is why the women who are mindjacked by the insanity of Feminism become bitter, angry and alone, surrounded by cats. Too late, they realise that they actually do need a man and that motherhood is the most fulfilling thing that a woman can do.

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  • Wow are you a pessimist or what, damn!

    I really only want to have kids because I'm an only child, and am a boy. I have to keep the family name going. It'd be nice if i had a brother so I wouldn't have to be the one who has to keep the family name going

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  • Continuation of the human race, besides it's always good to have someone take care of you when your old. The only reason its bad to have kids is because society makes i, and eeverything so damned difficult

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  • Kids are cool. I love my nieces and nephews

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  • They get bored and need to live vicariously through another? www.strokeboard.net/.../dunno.gif

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  • My brother (he is a lot older than me) said that the things that you find fun in your 20's and 30's eventually get a bit boring and you want something with a bit more meaning in your life. So you normally end up finding someone to settle down with and have a family.

    Not true for everyone, but true for a lot of people.

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  • I dont know it would be a great acomplishment. To think you made a kid is mindblowing itself, then you can spend your life with it. I think it would be awesome.

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  • That is why I flush a million of them down the toilet every morning

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  • ikr! the only reason I can think of is because at age 35 you start to wonder what more there is to life. you're tired of the same thing over and over and want to watch some kids running around your house. By then you're financially stable.

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  • alcohol

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  • If nobody had kids the human race would be extinct in a little over 100 years

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    • 3mo

      That is unless we somehow acquire or develop the necessary components and technology such as some uber and ultra powerful nanomachines or something that would alter, modify, upgrade, enhance, evolve, transform, change, and transcend us to something that last for either a really long time (near indefinite lifespan) or become virtually indestructible and immortal. But if it does work, then I guess technically humans wouldn't be humans anymore either.

  • I've heard some people do it because opularity and tax benefits makes me sick

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  • Cause I want my breed to be continue.

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  • You get a tax break
    You get to play with them all the time
    After work you can have your kids do the dishes and feed the animals
    You can buy video games and play them with your kids (if they're cool kids)
    At home you can be happy and ignore the outside world
    What if having a family/kids is your dream?

    People have kids because it's great and leads to a fulfilling life. :)

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  • Cuz kids are cute 😃

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  • I want it for my legacy. otherwise out bloodline will be forgotten.

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  • Yes, that's all true (aside from the "life sucks" part). What's your point?

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  • I don't know myself

    I don't plan on having them

    I think my girlfriend thinks she can change my mind but nope

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What Girls Said 22

  • If you're this age and feel this way about having kids... I know those feelings are less likely to change.
    Haha, the reasons you mentioned would make me not want to have kids but I don't look at it that way at all.
    Kids are a blessing.

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  • I never wanted kids, I knew I'd be a shitty mom so I really didn't want any. Mother nature granted my wish and I was never able to conceive.

    I applaud those who do have kids for the right reasons and are responsible parents. However there are a lot of folks who should never have had kids. My parents were a perfect example.

    The ones who have kids that really gets my knickers in a knot are the ones who have them to gain another tax credit, pad the monthly entitlements and in general use them for financial gain at the taxpayer's expense.

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    • 3mo

      I know people who had kids for tax reasons, and can't handle the stress from all the kids they have and the kids suffer because of it.

    • 3mo

      @mrsingle That is an unfortunate situation. Sadly kids suffer from parents poor choices too many times, probably more times and ways than anyone knows.

  • It's called not being selfish first of all lol it's pretty immature of you to think like that. There is way more out there than yourself

    I can't wait to bring a child into this world and raise them. It's part of life. I'm a family person so that probably plays a factor

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    • 3mo

      How is it selfish? At least I am considering the other person life. Having to live in a horrible bitchy world. There is plenty of other ways to help people some include volunteering and donating some money for good cause. In addition isn't selfish to want a kid just so you can raise it without its consideration.

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    • 3mo

      @sailorjupiter Go back to your backward life style. I don't ever want see you on my post. You've been block!

    • 3mo

      Caring for other people such as your mom or your brother is worthy of respect but it will never be the same as taking responsibility of a child. It's just not. Maybe you'd have to have a child to understand...

  • You have them because your established or have a good support network of friends and family. Also because you love each other and want to have a piece of that and watch it grow up. Though you also can adopt an older child or one with disabilities and that is beautiful too.

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  • The idea is, you suffer a bit as they are younger and sacrifice a lot to take care of them.
    Then, they get old enough to provide company and create a lot of happiness for you.
    Eventually, when you are old, they will take care of you and make sure you are not some sad, lonely old person who no one visits in a nursing home.
    Basically, children are an investment of long-term happiness. Most older people without children are simply not as happy as those with (although some might be)

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  • Some people feel as if their duty in life is to have children.
    Some people just love children.
    Some people wish to pass on their genetics. Sort of like the sims.

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  • No idea. They might feel there os something missing in their lives so they feel that a child will fill that empty whole.

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    • 3mo

      You're 13 lol you've barely started your period.

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    • 3mo

      @bente2 hahah I have never said something I wouldn't say in real life. I have no problem with confontation.

      Internet weirdo who hides behind a screen? Fine I will admit I'm addicted to gag lol but doesn't make me an Internet weirdo

      I do know what I'm doing with my life actually. You just keep assuming things. But since we're assuming things. 22 generally means you've finished your bachelors. Which I have done. Know what I'm doing for a career and know what I want.

      She's not an invalid and I never said that. I just said she wouldn't know what it means to have a child... Which is true. She's too young to have that figured out

    • 3mo

      even at 13, you're more matured and really know the purpose of life than other people here i guess. That's really good you figured it out early and understand it well

  • my dream is to be a mother so I would be making it come true not giving it up

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  • Oh, i used to think like you until i met that man i wanted to be with. My firstborn is a boy and it changed my life, yes i agree with you, its damn expensive and its so tough working and taking care of him and there are times i just want to pull my hair out... like once i came home and found that he emptied the contents of the fridge all over the kitchen floor... but you know what... if you asked me to go through it again... i'd say yes... you probably think i'm crazy... but having him with me... teaching him... running in the garden... watching him grow... for me... nothing else gave me that happiness in life... not my career, not my car that i worked so hard for... not my achievements... nothing... its hard to explain... but he really is the joy of my life and so is my husband.

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  • Because they are a gift from God, they are cute and adorable and they are a part of you, there's no bigger joy than watching your children grow up

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    • 3mo

      To keep dem Asian bottom genes goin' right ma Pwincess? 🌹😚

    • 3mo

      @keyspirit - it's time you found a new love interest

    • 3mo

      Ma LUV... for dem Muslim babez will nvr die out like the candle burning inside ma heart waiting for dat one Muslim babez to kum say her prayers that she rove Asian boi to Allah 💝

  • It's so they can pass on their genes

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  • I agree 100%. The only reason I would ever consider having a kid is if I wanted to make sure my legacy continues.

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  • Not all of these are true.

    People have children because it's the ultimate sign of love towards the person you're having them with. It also brings great joy to people to have a little human to nurture. It's an animal instinct.

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  • I want someone to give me nothing but pure love. And plus, I love children. They bring light in life.

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  • My mom said wanting kids is a biproduct of being in love with someone

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  • You have good points, but it's still a huge goal for many people. It's hard, but it's rewarding as well for a good number of men and women especially.

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  • Just think if your parents hadn't wanted children.

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    • 3mo

      I think about that all the time. Would have saved me all the troubles and frustrations that I never asked for to be involved with in the very first place!

  • Im never having kids even when i get a job and become financially stable. I like my free time.

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  • Because if people didn't have kids everybody would eventually die and that would be that.

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  • You forgot to add they are messy and loud. Does are my reasons for NOT wanting children... lol

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  • no idea but I don't want kids I don't have a tolerance for kids plus I don't like kids

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  • for me i wanna give birth to kids that i can teach how to cope with life and give advice and see them grow and support them

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