Should the woman always support her man even in situations like this?

My husband got a job in Japan in a new company that will make video games and he is asking me to move there with him. I've never been there before and i don't know if they're friendly or not, he said this is the job he was dreaming of and they will pay him much. He is upset because i'm not there to support him and he said we can't stay separated like this forever. I'm worried about my daughter too and other things. It's been a year since all this happened and he will come in a small vacation to discuss things with me.

  • You should move there to support him
    71% (10)62% (8)67% (18)Vote
  • You should convince him to find another job
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  • You should do what's best for your daughter
    14% (2)31% (4)22% (6)Vote
  • Other
    15% (2)7% (1)11% (3)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You should do what's best for you, which I'm guessing your objective is to be happy. Will you be happy if your husband is living in Japan and you're not there? Would you be happy if you moved there? What about your daughter?

    It's a tough situation, but you and your daughter have a life too, leaving it all behind isn't easy, and not always the best. But also not having your husband and your daughter's father in the picture, isn't good either.

    I think one of you has to make a sacrifice. Either he goes back home to his family, or you go to him

    If I was in his position, I wouldn't have left. I can't leave my daughter to grow up with her father being thousands of miles away, and I couldn't leave my wife either. But I put family over work, others don't, and your husband seems to fall under "others".

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    • 3mo

      Honestly i told him to follow his dream job and i supported him in that decision but I've never thought it would be so hard like this

    • 3mo

      Thanks for the MHO

    • 3mo

      Welcome

Most Helpful Girl

  • It´s his dream, if there are no serious strings attached where you are, then go. You would regret not doing it. Your daughter will learn plenty of new things, culture, language... I think you not going there might be very damaging for your relationship. He would know you don´t fully support him... You can always go back, but it might be the best time of your life. It will not (probably) be for forever. If it is not working out, you can go back, but giving up without even trying? It will be difficult but I bet there´ll be plenty of expats and they support each other and will help you :-)

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    • 3mo

      Would you leave everything behind and go to live there?

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    • 3mo

      You´re welcome :-) :-) I hope I helped

    • 3mo

      You did :)

What Guys Said 2

  • Yes, I think showing support in these kind of situations belongs to a good, loving relationship. Personally, I would move to another country if my girlfriend found a good job abroad. Maybe not forever but why not try it out for a couple of years? I've lived in two foreign countries so far and I'm extremely happy and thankful for all the great life experience I was able to gain this way.
    And yes, Japanese people are very polite. They tend to be somewhat xenophobic and it's hard to become a real part of the Japanese society but people will be very kind and polite to you nonetheless.

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    • 3mo

      They tend to be somewhat xenophobic? This doesn't sound good right?

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    • 3mo

      And I should perhaps add that it also depends A LOT on where in Japan you live. What I said before was just a generalization. For example if you go to places like Kyoto or Osaka, people won't be prejudiced because 95% of tourists go to these cities. If you go to smaller towns, the xenophobia might be stronger (like in most countries). Plus, there's also a south-north divide. In my personal experience (traveling in Japan), people in the south (such as Tokyo) tend to be a little more grumpy towards foreigners. If you go up north, there are still places where people may have almost never seen a white person before (especially in small villages). In these cases, they're often just very curious about you, not repudiative.

    • 3mo

      thank you so much for sharing something from your experience in Japan.

  • You should do what's best for your daughter

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What Girls Said 7

  • It's up to you. Personally, I would move there, if it's his dream job. I love where I live now, and my job, but I've always liked Japan - it would just be a new adventure for us. I'd try it out. However, we don't have a child to think about. She would be my #1 priority. I think children generally adapt pretty well to these types of changes though; even better than adults sometimes.

    He's right that you can't stay separated forever though, so either he finds another job and comes back, or you guys move over there. Think about it for a while, do some research on what living in Japan would mean, and discuss things with him when he comes to visit. No need to rush into a decision.

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    • 3mo

      You're right i need to read more about it and not to be selfish with my family by not going

    • 3mo

      Reading more about it is a good idea. I don't think you're selfish though, it's a big change, so it's totally understandable that you would have concerns about it.

    • 3mo

      Thank you

  • I think every situation are different. I think you should hear everything he has to say about it.
    I don't think it would be a problem for your daughter. She must be young and it's easier for them at an early age.
    I've had a cousin who follow her husband with their two kids to China. they stayed there for two years. The kids were around 5 and it was a great experience for all of them.
    If he want to go, he most likely has information and Japan. It actually feel like a cool country. You would be lucky to follow him

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    • 3mo

      But that means we will leave everything here and live there... Maybe forever?

    • 3mo

      That is something you can discuss together. You can't assume things. Just to talk to him to know what he want. I can understand how living there forever could be a problem because the culture is together. Perhaps he'd want to go there for a couple of years. Just ask him.

    • 3mo

      I guess i don't have a choice and i can't be selfish with my family

  • I would personally move there, because I've always wanted to. But if my work didn't require me to be in a specific location, then I would move to be supportive for my partner. Especially since it's his dream job.

    I do understand where you are coming from, with your daughter. Maybe try to get some information on good schools over there for her, unless she is too young for that. Growing up in different countries is still a highlight for me, I enjoyed learning about new cultures. I think it would be beneficial. But make sure you do research on the area you are possibly moving to, so you can make a better informed decision.

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  • Hey , everyone is afraid of trying something new.
    you are afraid of moving to japan , because you have never been there and it's all new for you.
    Everything happens for the first time , after wards things get better.
    i think you should move to japan. it's one of the safest and cleanest country. people are great , food is good too. you will find and meet new people. it will be tough in the beginning but you will get there. it will be great experience for your daughter too , she will love it when she will grow.
    i would recommend u to move with your husband. think about him , he will be lonely without you too. y

    Don't worry.
    everything will be fine :)
    do research about japan before going if you still have fears.
    all the best :)

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  • I'd move to Japan and be rich in a flash of a pan... You must be kidding?

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  • you'll like it, don't worry

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  • You should go with your husband to support him and trust me you'll enjoy your time there and you'll make new friends. It's hard at first but you will get used to it and love it.

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    • 3mo

      I hope you're right

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