Finding yourself?

This summer I realized I've been spending most of my time reading romance novels. I want to get out and stop drowning in the life of what an author writes. I'm tired of going into a relationship so fast and realizing it doesn't mean anything. I want that to STOP! I've tried dating apps everything. I don't want to blame it on myself I just want to figure out is there a way that maybe somehow I can stil enjoy reading the novels and not feel sorry for myself. I can't help that I'm such a book-worm. I'm 26 years old live in NYC why is it so hard for me to get out their?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Books are like the Internet: they're an ideal world that fulfills our fantasies, without us having to take any risks.

    I'm no expert in romance, but maybe part of the problem might be that you haven't learned to separate fantasy from real life expectations and goals (most people these days never do). There's nothing wrong with fantasy of course, as long as you are mindful about what it is.

    Expectations are half of what determines our happiness.

    As for actually getting out there and meeting guys you might end up with, I can't tell you anything that everyone else has surely already told you.

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  • Me to girl I find myself reading a lot of romance novels lately 💯

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think it's because as a bookworm myself, we have created this fictional perfect guy that we believe is out there for us (a perfect guy combined with different traits of different book protagonists). So when we start talking to a guy and see one of the traits we put in the perfect guy, we jump to it without realising that he isn't a great guy or he doesn't really want the best for us. And with all the betrayal and the shits we have gone through, we get discouraged from venturing out again because we feel that we just don't belong in this dating thing and that the right guy is never going to come so we give up on any chance of finding a guy. I think that you should re think of all the wrong things that those men you've dated have done so that you know what you don't like and slowly make a list of traits you liked that aren't too unachievable for a normal guy. So slowly dip yourself into the dating scene, just casually talk to guys and get to know them don't try and find those traits you like, try to know them for themselves and then you'll see if the trait you like is there, so through this way of selecting, you've created yourself something of a reassurance that this guy that you date is true to you and you see the traits you like but not alllll of your desired traits. Plus don't ever stop reading those book, they open us to a completely different world, it's like a haven of serenity plus gives us you know lovely gift ideas or date ideas.

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    • 3mo

      I just don't understand how authors can create something to make it feel so realistic to the readers? I enjoy series and sometimes I don't want to stop reading it can be those books learn about the characters in each series. Small town thing. You are right though. Thx!!!

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    • 3mo

      Yeah I just finished a book pretty good I might take a break for a while from reading to help find myself. thanks for ur help.

    • 3mo

      I added u to follow me. eanubis89. That would be me you can message me whenever you want.

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