I advice on how to deal with this trainwreck?

So, my life is pretty much a train-wreck, that's actually been the one constant thing, circumstances change but my life is still a train-wreck.
But I've had to take this semester off of college due to financial reasons. So I've been working.
Then you have the fact that around march of last year my depression started to get worse than it already was and now I basically feel hopeless and worthless. Now I should have said yes when my mother asked if I needed a new therapist after I graduated from HS and truth be told I honestly don't know why I didn't say yes considering I've been diagnosed with ADHD, ASD and Major Depressive Disorder but I didn't and I should have.
I've just gotten to a point where I don't think that my life is going to get better.
I can't shake the thought that there is no one for me and that I'm going to die alone.
I feel absolutely worthless.

Money is going to be an issue for me for a long time and considering that I need to eventually transfer to a four year college. and I don't even know what I want to study, I want to be a novelist and that MIGHT happen but it might not and I need backup career and I just don't know anymore.
So I've got a whole lot of problems I can see and I just don't know where to start.

But I've got a couple of I don't even know if I'd call them solutions.
1. I AM getting a new therapist now, that much is set in stone, I just need to find one thats good and near me and accepting new patients. So I've been thinking of taking next semester off to just try and get my depression under control and work and make some money to save and maybe try and figure out what the hell it is I want to study.
2. Go back to school next semester while seeing a therapist all the while not know what I want to study once I'm done with my general ed requirements and transfer to a four year.
Sorry for the rant but I could use some help here.

Updates:
2mo When I'm depressed people tell me this will get better but HOW CAN THIS GET BETTER, ITS ALREADY COMPLETELY FUBAR

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Changing your therapist is a great idea. He/she may be able to provide new strategies and treatments that you can benefit

    It's important to have a good therapist that you feel comfortable with. A good therapist will try to find out the cause of your depression , then they'll provide tailor- made treatments and advice for you to get your depression under control.

    I admire you so much, because you push yourself even though it's a daily strugggle for you . Depression is like a war within yourself.

    I'd still go to college while you're seeing the new therapist. At least college will keep your mind active , because you'll have homework and research etc to do which will help keep your mind focused and busy. During that time you can still be working on what you'd like to do in the future. Plus, college will probably open the way to new opportunities for you.

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    • 2mo

      Thank you,
      You are such a nice person

    • 2mo

      Thanks for the MHO

      You're welcome. That's kind of you , I appreciate that a lot . You are a very nice person too.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Holy crap, Waffles. Let me
    read this!

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    • 2mo

      Yeah therapist is always good! talk talk talk :O
      If I were you I'd like search up all the studies you can do there, look up info about them one by one and see from there. Trying new hobbies could help too :)
      Also, having some friends by your side also helps, knowing they are there. Like me and some friends just sitting in a bar having a laugh (just a simple something but they're there) And the best ones listen to our crap and offer support xD

      And for the mindset... You keep fighting, I've broken through depression, but it was with the mindset of I got to keep fighting even if I see no hope, cause it will come, trust me!

What Girls Said 15

  • You have to remember that you are only 21. For many it seems stressing to keep up with everyone else and graduate before you even reach 22. And it's definitely awful seeing how your friends are all off to find jobs and building relationships, even getting married. But young people have to realise that they have a whole life ahead of them and they're merely a quarter way's to the end. As for myself I'm on my second gap year now while most of my friends are starting their second year of uni. I've definitely felt utterly left behind at times but then I've spoken to successful family members of mine, some started their university studies at 25, some even past 30, for various reasons, financial, changing mind about what they want to do, but they are now doing amazing.

    I rather I start university doing something I'm absolutely sure that I will love because university is incredibly expensive after all. I think that you should put a hold on university and figure out what you really truly want to do in life, as well as getting yourself enough money to go to university as well, instead of just rushing it through because of the pressure.

    As for my depression, for the first half of my first gap year I struggled, real bad. I felt so left behind and I didn't know what I wanted to do in the future, I felt hopeless and I kept asking what's wrong with me. But then I took a trip out of the city to my home country, visiting my grandma for a whole month and I just somehow got better, because she was turning 75, and she's still super active (more than me LOL), still learning languages and travelling. And I'm just there like wow, I have like 60 years to go if not more and I'm sitting here crying about how my life is over and hopeless. I felt kinda dumb tbh lol.

    I then started travelling a bit more and experienced life. Now I'm not saying you should travel the world to get better, but you should go out there and experience life, try new things. Heck I found out I definitely wanted to become a psychologist after I volunteered in psychology experiments lol. That just made me click.
    So this year I'm now I'm doing a psychology course to get into university. And all I can do is work hard and hope for the best.

    Lastly to better deal with depression you need to be in a positive environment with positive people. I had to get rid of a lot of toxic people in my life that I loved but were just making things worse and honestly now I'm really not depressed anymore.

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  • I think the therapist is a good idea. I'd suggest a psychiatrist so he/she can write you prescripts or at least have your therapist in copntact with your primary care doctor. If you dont know what you want to study go to a community college to get the basic credits taken care of. Most novelists write their novels in spare time from their ful time job so you really should focus on something a regular job/degree career.
    finally, you are only 21 there's a lot more life to come so dont think all is lost.

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  • Its possible that seeing a therapist while you're still taking your courses could help you to find the clarity you need to figure out exactly what you want to study. Things get overwhelming, that's why it seems like they'll never get better. If you get the right kind of help, it should help your stress/anxiety which will certainly help your depression.

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  • Come to SCAD! Then you can ghost hunting with us all the time :-)

    No one knows who they are, or what they want at your age; so not alone. Just trudge on through the core classes first. then figure it out later. Yes, do go get you a good therapist. Even if they don't "advise" you, simply getting it out to someone who listens and can guide is better than none at all.

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  • I think you should make getting a therapist your priority, that's what really helped me with my depression. Once you're in a better place, then it might be easier to work out what to do about college.
    A lot of it has to do with mindset though, you've just gotta keep fighting, and even though there might not seem like there's any light at the end of the tunnel, it will come eventually. I went from having severe anxiety, depression and being suicidal in 2014, to a (mostly) happy and bubbly girl with very little remaining anxiety, which is who I am now. It took me two long, hard and very emotional years to get to where I am, and even when it all got too hard, I am glad I wasn't going to let myself go down without a fight.
    It can seem like there's no hope, and the fact is that everyone's timeline is different, but you can and will get there eventually.

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  • Well, you could write novels and publish in small news papers, magazines, etc to earn money. Or revise essays/publications/textbooks for a fee.

    Also, you need to see a therapist, GaG is not the place for professional help. It never will be :/ None of us went to school for that, and our trying to cheer you up could cause more damage without us even knowing.

    Still, I wish you nothing but the best and happiness.

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  • You know the "I feel like everything is awful and unmanageable and will never get better" is the depression talking right?

    Just hold off on your plans until your brain is more cooperative.

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  • Obviously you need to go to a therapist. You have to want to get better though and try your best not to be depressed.

    I know that many people who are novelists finish literature. There you can improve your grammar and vocabulary, learn about the history of literature and the different types of it, generally about history, work on some texts, learn how different writing techniques. It will help on becoming a good novelist, and you could be a literature teacher at the same time.

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  • First , you can't help what happens to you but how you handle it. Realize that everyone at one point has financial issues in their life. I went to school with people who had two jobs while going to school fulltime. Your allowing lifes issues to get to you, NOONE has an easy life we all have problems.
    How do you handle it? Start realizing all the things you have in your life to be thankful for like having a ruff over your head , being able to get 1st world education, having food on your table. You can handle your mental health. You just need to learn how to. Words and thoughts become reality.
    Tell yourself you will not longer be depressed. The brain is a spunge the more you tell yourself you will no longer be the depressed your brain will pick up on it. (learned that in nuerosceince 1 class)
    I think in all you have to learn how to make the best out of your situation, roll with punches and never start fighting.

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  • Well Me and you are on the same boat... I am gonna die alone too. ):

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  • All I can say from experience is to consult in someone you trust, just to talk to. When you stay inside your head, the problems multiply like crazy and you'll never be able to think logiclly. You need to get some help so I'd suggest consulting in a family member, do the breathing technique to calm down (which is breathe in through your nose and out your mouth), move on to talking to a therapist, visit the doctor and hopefully be prescribed a pill and just think things through logically. Don't live inside your head, it'll be the worst thing you'll ever do. Hopefully this helped.

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  • I wish I could advise but I'm like the worst person to give advice when my life is a complete shit hole lol. Just give yourself time and take every day as it comes

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    • 2mo

      there's something in this. If it makes you feel any better, everyone elses' life is a shit hole (including mine :D)

    • 2mo

      @Levin I'm sure. I don't pretend to have the worst, I'm just really really bad at dealing with my lot :(

    • 2mo

      that's okay. Acknowledgement is the catalyst for change. Most people don't even acknowledge their shit. Same applies to OP.

  • It's okay to not know what you want to do with your life. If you want, you can work full time and just take one or two classes. While you decide what you want to do.

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  • Well if you feel like there's no hope even though you're going back to school you can always keep in mind that it's not your situation but rather your depression making everything seem hopeless.

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    • 2mo

      I don't know how I'm going to pay for the four year school i'll end up transfering to though

  • The onl;y thing I can suggest is to get a stem degree!

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What Guys Said 10

  • well not knowing exactly what you want to do (like focus in school) is not terrible at all. a lot of people are like that and many who think they know what they want to do go to school and end up doing something they never planned to do anyway

    as a backup i'd choose a course of study that can lead to career that pays well in something you can tolerate (so something like business or finance is always an in demand job that comes with financial security)

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  • What are you studying? It is great that you understand you will not graduate and become a novelist, many aspiring young writers are not realistic and practical like that!

    Talk to your parents, tell them you need a new therapist and you need help. Talk to your college, they will have options because they want you to succeed! I had a friend who got a reduced courseload because she also had mental health issues, so she could keep studying and feel productive and like she was making progress, but without being overwhelmed.

    I am no therapist, but I have been depressed, and I think if you have a goal and feel like you're moving towards it, you won't feel as hopeless about your life because you'll have an objective you want to achieve and be getting closer to it.

    I don't really know what tricks I used to force myself out of bed when I was in the lower ebb, I just kind of did and tried my best to get my obligations done and over with.

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  • Keep track of the bad days on a calendar, to see if there are patterns to so you can plan for it and possibly avoid it. You don't have to really exercise but I would advise a least taking a 15 minute walk twice a day. Just a walk where you don't have anything to do but walk.

    For my next trick follow this link www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a25308-who-needs-a-zombie-doc-when-i-have-me-a-k-a-dealing-with

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  • I can't comment on the therapist issue (no frame of reference), but I would recommend going to trade school over university. College degrees mean less and less now, and there aren't nearly enough people getting training to fill skilled manual labor jobs. The further you go down the university path, the more debt you'll accumulate, and the harder it will be to change course. Things like plumbers, appliance repairers, electricians, carpenters, and auto mechanics are going to be in high demand in the next decade, and they'll pay well. To be blunt, these fields will give you much more steady income than being a writer.

    This is just my two cents, and the decision is ultimately yours.

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    • 2mo

      Also, depression hit me hard in college like it did you, and I was suicidal at one point. I can relate to what you're going through, man. I sunk 6 years in university and regret it now. I wish that I would've gone into trade school when I had the chance, because my bachelor's is borderline useless.

  • Judging by the comments I read on different questions, you're not stupid and you have more culture than many others. You should be able to get your degree. Thus GET a therapist and GET your degree !!

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  • I don't know how it sounds like a train wreck, but ok. Pick a major that you want. It's not a life sentence in what you pick and you can change it at any point

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  • I am no therapist, but perhaps this guy could help?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fP7w1sQa4ds

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  • I felt dying everytime when I touch bottom line.
    Just break it one by one untill no rule but death.
    Then I just have my judgement to face it.
    When I prepare for it well, It seem that everything start changing.
    I find the topic of live and death is root of behavior. I dont struggle with live
    So I start to get alone with others, I am not competive with them.
    I am not afraid of death so I can help them.
    I think I had habit/rule on my body before that is for living purpose.
    but you said you are going to die death is not death
    maybe that is getting strong instead.

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  • How about web page design? Pays well and you only need a certificate to qualify.

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  • It's very normal to be depressed during university.

    The better question is how do you manage? Excluding therapy.

    How often do you workout?

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