Depressed because I'm ugly?

I'm turning 24 next week. My whole life I've had an ugly face. No matter what I do, nothing will compensate for an ugly face. It's not emotional at this point. It's just what's real.. my face is very unattractive. I work hard to stay fit and put a lot of effort into maintaining what looks I do have. I work hard at university and will have a great job soon. I have a good personality but it's been turning bitter over the years. I've worked on getting myself out there but it's truthfully depressing doing this. There is no point to get shot down every time. It just kills what little self esteem you do have.

People automatically assume you are weird if you are ugly. Even if you have great communication skills. Girls automatically see you as a creep.. or you are completley invisible. Friends don't want to bring you out with them and their friends in public. Essentially you have absolutely no value at all if you have an ugly face. I have had one girlfriend in my life.. I knew it was just a matter of time till she left.

It's not about confidence. I have confidence in every aspect of life despite my looks. You can't have confidence in your looks if you are ugly. Any projected confidence that you try and put out there will automatically be seen as weird or trying too hard.

I have money left over from school loans and I think I'm going to get plastic surgery. I have been miserable throughout so many years for one reason. My face is ugly and I'm constantly undervalued. I have less opportunities than others. I can't work certain jobs. I can't date. I feel like I deserve to know what it's like to be normal. Should I just do it? Nothing can get worst than this.

  • I understand and would get plastic surgery as well
    29% (9)25% (3)28% (12)Vote
  • I don't think you should get plastic surgery
    58% (18)50% (6)56% (24)Vote
  • Other
    13% (4)25% (3)16% (7)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You don't need plastic surgery because of people! You get surgery done for your health, or else you'll ruin your overall health. What it is, is that your attitude is very off putting, and that is not attractive at all. You settle for less, and you don't even concern about your future period. You can't get certain jobs because you don't have the skills, qualifications, the professional references, the connections, NOT already having your foot in the door or the experiences to get that job. If you don't dress to impress or show you work for it, how can you expect anybody to believe in you? If you don't mingle, learn to be outgoing and connect with people, how to do you expect to get job openings or offers?

    If you have nothing else to show and prove for yourself, how to do you expect to attract anybody to date? Less of your face, and more of your attitude. If you don't take care of yourself for YOU, nobody is going to be interested. How you approach people may also have something to do with it also.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know what its like to be you but plastic surgery isn't the problem. maybe you are better of instead of dealing with shallow people. I think you already have the solution (being realistic) and that's how you solve this problem... by being real. A little more patience and you'll find that person

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    • 2mo

      Well everything else I've excelled in. That leaves it down to one variable, which is my looks. It holds me back in areas in life that I don't want it to. I rather have more value in this life than to find someone that will just settle with me but isn't excited about me.

What Girls Said 17

  • I think you should see a shrink because plastics can only take you so far. You have deeper issues that need to be looked at.

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    • 2mo

      I really don't though. As I said, it's not emotional. I'm physically unattractive. No mindset or anything can change that. Being average is fine but being ugly holds you back in a lot of aspects of life. No shrink can change that.

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    • 2mo

      Well I'll tell you for a fact appearance matters to me but only to some extent. There are other things which are MUCH MUCH MUCH more important. Most girls are like that. I'm not gonna argue with you, you can think what you like. But I just want you to feel better about yourself because you are not bad.

    • 2mo

      You know I think people nowadays only
      care about looks more than personality but truth is some people are so ugly they way they project themselves you
      can tell a lot by the way they act and yes it maybe they are hot and all of that but just because they're are people
      that are attractive it doesn't mean they are both inside and out do you
      get me?

  • You should do what you think will make you happy, sometimes it does take drastic measures to make our outside appearance match the attractiveness that our "insides" have (personality). But remember, if you have children, they will be half your genes and if your mate doesn't know you weren't always as you look post surgery, she will be surprised. Aread you really sure you're as unattractive as you think you are? We are our own worst critics.

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  • This is mental... Little to nothing to do with the physical.
    If it didn't bother you, no one else would notice. Even if they did, they'd forget about it soon because you are alright with yourself.

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  • As a person that had severe acne through puberty I can relate. (I've not only got called 'pizza face' , 'rock face' was one of them names a jerk gave me. in the old days.)

    Anyways, it's okay for a guy to use facial mask, and facial products, such as vitamin D serum, exfoliant, moisturizer to improve skin condition. I don't know if you have any acne or anything, but I tend to associate acne, age spots, etc as unattractive, and people with clear skin attractive. Also whitening strips for teeth, a nice set of teeth is always a must.

    But if you do have the money and time, and you think there's nothing else you can do, go ahead it's your face...

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  • let us see your 'ugliness' PIC!

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  • Jesus, no one is THAT ugly. Please post a picture as I am dying of curiosity.

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  • i think it would be ok if it's very conservative

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  • You that one lightskin with the fucked teeth? You aren't that bad, just get braces.

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  • Your good bro be you

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  • Get some facial hair, it can do wonders really

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  • What are your other charms?

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  • You Should Just Love Yourself And Be Happy With Who You Are.

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  • My opinion on plastic surgery is that it changes your outside appearance, but not necessarily how you feel emotionally. I believe that technology can be our biggest blessing and our biggest curse concurrently. Why? Because if you didn't have anything or anyone else to visually compare yourself to, chances are you would not think you look unattractive. Technology can allow us to form awesome gadgets that convenience our lives or even revolutionary cures for diseases. But, media specifically - social media, televised media, print media - can be toxic. While we are more connected than ever before, these connections can come with the high prices of constant comparison and subsequent feelings of worthlessness.
    "People automatically assume you are weird if you are ugly." This feeling of yours is a disgusting reality for some people. Why should you be treated differently based on the way you look? I feel bad for people who discriminate against others using that criterion alone. LET THEM. They can stew in their own insecure and materialistic lives while you find people who genuinely want to be around you because they appreciate who you are (your personality, your talents, the way you make them feel) regardless of your looks. The most important question you need to ask yourself is this: "Do I even need (let alone want) to surround myself with people who have this limited view, and who use that superficial standard to cast judgement or determine my worth?" I will venture to say absolutely NOT. It takes hard work, determination, and self-discipline to love and appreciate yourself. It is a journey that doesn't happen overnight. But I believe that with purposeful effort, you can learn to love yourself and determine your own worth by not filtering your self-perceptions through the beliefs and lenses of others. I understand from personal experience that this is a hard task. But bettering oneself is a lifelong journey for everyone. Embrace it, and believe in yourself; because I believe in you!

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  • Okay I don't want to feed you a bunch of crap but I just want you to know that all people aren't shallow and there are things more than looks. There are girls that aren't picky and if you don't think so then why not go after girls that are also unattractive maybe it would build your confidence and maybe they'll say yes?

    Honestly I think this will give you a good laugh and confidence and acceptance at the same time hopefully it doesn't hurt your feelings and sorry I'm advance if it does
    https://youtu.be/-N0yXGVWS1Y

    But I would like to think that you should give dating another try before you result to getting your face reconstructed :/

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  • As long as you do not look like madelacroix you are not ugly

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  • I doubt you're even ugly at all. So many people think they're ugly. And I've only seen 2 truly ugly people in my life. just keep working on you. Fix your flaws, look your best everyday. Don't get surgery unless you feel that it would help your self esteem. I felt really sad reading this since i feel ugly sometimes too but im not. And i doubt u are ugly either. Cheer up :)

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    • 2mo

      Lol you're under 18 so it's understandable that you think this is just a matter of mindset. It really isn't though. Ugly people have severe disadvantages in life. It really takes a toll on you throughout the years. It's not emotional.. it's just facts. I have an ugly face. I really think plastic surgery is the only option at this point.

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    • 2mo

      Fuck it

    • 2mo

      You can go ahead and live the rest of your life feeling inferior because you think that you're ugly while turning down everything and having no future because of your low self esteem and looks OR you can have confidence in yourself as a person, not as a face. And work hard to get what you want in life and having a great future without letting your looks hold you back. Show the world you can make something of yourself no matter how ugly.

What Guys Said 3

  • Just get rich and get some really nice clothes

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    • 2mo

      Clothes don't change your face

    • 2mo

      Style does really help though. (Think of someone like Tom Waits - he was a pretty ugly young man, but so groovy, and he just keeps getting more totally amazing as he gets older!) Have you tried growing a beard? You can totally transform your jawline with a carefully chosen beard. Get yourself some cool little trilby hat or something too - the hat and beard would frame your eyes, and eyes can't be ugly if the soul behind them is nice. What kind of surgery are you thinking of - nose job? That doesn't sound too drastic really. You're so young, it makes me sad that you are sad! The shallow pretty people will get depressed when they are old and their looks fade. I hope you can find a group of people who aren't shallow!

  • If you can afford it and you're really that ugly (can't tell because no pic), then yeah I don't see why not.

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  • Pic!!!

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