I don't know what to do anymore. I'm really depressed, and it's taking over my life. What can I possibly do?

I've suffered for so many years now, and it's just.. so tiring. I wish it would stop..
I don't know how to put it into words either so it can be fully understood. The world sucks. Everything sucks.
My entire life is one negative ball that never stops.
I'm ugly.
I've started becoming fat and am being teased by my own ''family'' about it too.
School will be starting again really soon and not even half of my projects are done, and I look and feel like a mess and am honestly not ready to deal with anything.
I'm worthless.
I'm pointless.
I feel so scared of continuing to live because I know there is nothing out there for a stupid person like me.
I have no future and it's scary and I wish I could end it all already.
I don't even need to be officially diagnosed with depression to know if I have it - I'm pretty sure I do.
I don't need or care for taking any fucking drugs or supplements. Those won't fix me.
It's hard not being able to do anything each and every day except cry.
I feel like I'm a nuisance to everyone around me. I don't do anything productive. All I do is get in the way of everything. Don't tell me ''it gets better'' because it really doesn't. I doubt it can get any worse than it is now. I have a ''family'' who say they care, when they really fucking don't. I can never talk to them about anything. They never take me seriously. All they do when they see me is poke fun at me or swear like I'm nothing but a walking puppet. No one understands. I can't even confide in my best friend because I know I'm bothering her too. I tried many things but I'm talented in nothing while everyone else around me is surrounded by loving friends and family and are athletes or singers or pianists already and it's so hard being the only one to suck at everything. Life is just horrible. Nothing is going well. My self esteem couldn't possibly get any lower. I feel like crying wherever I go - I just don't feel like I belong anywhere and all I'm doing is wasting time. I want to die.

Updates:
2mo My mom and dad also used to beat each other a lot when I was only a child, and I would wake up late at night to dishes crashing or bottles being smashed, or one of them would end up roaming the streets all night and return drunk.. I don't know how to trust anyone. And I don't know what ''love'' even is. When someone says it I feel like throwing up or running away. I don't understand. I don't get anything. I don't. get it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I promise you that things do get better. Especially once you turn 18 and can move out. And you life has value, and brings others happiness. That may not be today, but that will happen some day. If you stay alive, there is a 100% chance you will affect someone in the future and work through this pain. If you take your life, there is a 0% chance that will happen. There are hotlines you can call that have people who can help you. If you need to talk to someone, as much as an internet stranger can help, please feel free to message me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • What is the point of this question when you've basically even said you don't feel like doing anything. So your not even making the effort to change things. You complain you haven't done your coursework - well do it.
    you complain your becoming fat - well shift it
    your saying you don't have a future but your not even trying
    and im sorry but this sounds more like teenage angst than depression as your taking it out on other people. And that's coming from someone who was actually diagnosed a few years back with manic depression

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    • 2mo

      I'm not angry. What you're saying is true. I don't make any effort because it's all pointless, anyways..

What Guys Said 2

  • I've had the same problem for years now and I get over it temporarily by just writing those feelings down like in my notes in my phone or even doing something I enjoy like playing some games or even making one which I am doing right now 😜. To be completely honest all my friends went to a different college so I am basically alone and just living at home with my family and then going to school then coming home not really conversing with anyone that I can consider a friend. It is depressing and I wish I had a girlfriend in my life to cheer it up as the other new acquaintances at my school always brag about theirs. I hope this helped a little as being depressed is something you can overcome because there is always a solution to a problem it's just sometimes the solution is harder to find than others! 😊

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    • 2mo

      I do write down my feelings quite a lot but it only urges me to cry more and leaves me so much more deflated and with no energy than before, and all I do is sleep and wake up to the crappy days again

    • 2mo

      Awe! That means you have to find another way to help yourself! Writing helps me so there must be something that could possibly help you! I'd love to help you find that something because I feel it is so important for everyone to conquer depression and by explaining it to others it can help you solve it! So feel free to DM me if you need someone to talk to about it! I'm here

    • 2mo

      thanks..

  • You need to see a professional to help you out. I'd get off GAG.. this website is toxic for someone that is depressed. Especially at a young age. No one on the internet is going to help you.

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    • 2mo

      No one in real life is going to help me either..
      I'm stuck in a cage either way.

      There's even less options if I did get off this website. I don't have anyone to talk to. No one knows. Everyone thinks I'm crazy if I call myself names, let alone finding out about this.. its so fucking exhausting

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    • 2mo

      What if it doesn't go away and I stay useless and feeling like this my entire life? I'm supposed to be figuring out what to study and which school to go to and what future I want and start aiming for that right now.. but I have absolutely no fucking clue while everyone else around me does. its so demolishing, especially when literally everyone else have people who care

    • 2mo

      Lol I'm 23 and still figuring my shit out. I think I'm doing pretty well. You're not supposed to have everything figured out. Very few young people do.

What Girls Said 3

  • Well you're under 18. Life for everyone under 18 and usually even under 22 is a lot of yoyr own drama. We tend to take little things and make them into big problems. We forget how little we really are in the world and have no idea how much life has to offer because you've never had the chance to spread your wings. When I was under 19 I had been arrested twice, evicted, had my car repoed, gone through a horrible loss, gone through an abusive relationship, and wanted to die. At 29 I can look back and say those were little things. They were tiny fragments of a bigger picture that is still showing itself to me. So I know you don't want to hear it, but it gets better. One day at a time.

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    • 2mo

      I'm sorry all of that happened to you..

      but I honestly don't see how it gets better. Wanting to die and feeling useless - these two grow larger with each day and important exams are coming up soon which I know I'm going to fail because I fail most of them anyway.. and no one takes the time out of their day to just talk to me like a normal person. ''How are you'' or ''talk to me about everything thats been happening''.. these people.. to be frank I don't trust them to be my parents at all. I've always felt like they really just weren't.

    • 2mo

      Wanting to die and feeling useless might grow larger with every day. It might get a million times worse before it gets better. We aren't promised an easy life unfortunately. Focus on one positive thing a day and take baby steps. Don't have anything positive? You have a heartbeat. Start there. You woke up today. Start there. Take baby steps towards a small goal. Exams again... little things. Life is so much bigger than a failed exam. Life is bigger than a highschool drop out. As for people, sometimes they just suck. Some parents aren't very attentive parents. If you can't get anyone to listen then focus on you and improving you. You said you're not good at anything. Who cares about good? Donot because you enjoy it. I can't paint, but I love to. Anyway, I'm a stranger, don't always know what to say, don't always say the right thing, but if you ever need to "talk about everything that's been happening" shoot me a message and I'll do my best. Good luck!

    • 2mo

      Thank you

  • Try Talking To A Therapist Thats What I'm Going To Do For My Depression.

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    • 2mo

      I can't.
      My parents would think I'm mad and I'm wasting their money and my mom would definitely butt in with all the ''why'' and ''why'' and ''whyyyyy?'' a million times before she even considered it. And there's no way I'm telling a teacher at school who'll just treat me like an invalid and tell my parents anyways.

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    • 2mo

      Tried that.. can't help but feel I'm bothering everyone I talk to.

    • 2mo

      Keep Trying You Will Find Someone On There Who Cares About You.

  • Im here if u need someone to talk to

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    • 2mo

      Thanks kid but you're only 14..

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