I am always there for my friends, but when I need them, they are gone?

I haven't cried myself to sleep in a very long time, but last night I just couldn't stop the tears. I cried till I couldn't anymore and then fell asleep.

I give everything to my friends, I support them emotionally and when they need me I am there. I even got my parents to drive me to a friend that tried to commit suicide whom was in a hospital in a different town just to show here I care for her.

She got her life on track and few months ago I have hitten rock bottom. Going out has become harder for me too do and big groups of people scare me as I don't feel like I fit in. I needed her to be there for me, but she is not. She gets mad at me when I don't want to go out or don't want to go to church, its hard for me to get up in the mornings and it is harder for me to go out.

I feel hurt that she does that, and I feel like my friendship never meant anything. I feel like I am a bad friend, but most of all I feel hurt because when she needed me I was there and now I need someone I am alone. Yesterday I got unfriended and re-added. "blaming" it on a "glitch" I miss her, but trying to talk to her doesn't seem to work.

I am just so tired and needed to vent :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I have been there where all of your freind are gone. It just down right sucks. Message me if you want to talk. Id be happy to chat with you cause I don't want someone else to feel that terrible pain for as long as I did. For me the only thing that helped was talking to someone who would just listen. When a freind at church tried to encourage me it only hurt more. The way that I got through it was learning to guard my heart with new poeple. http://biblehub.com/proverbs/4-23.htm and to just cry out to God. At that point I only really listened to these two songs.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQctVDvIFWg
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijQYnl3tmUk
    I do highly suggest talking to someone like a therapist or if you have someone at church for that. Talking out loud about it helps a whole lot more than just texting about it.
    I'm sure that your an amazing freind however no matter how great of a freind you are. It won't reflect in how they treat you back. Your not alone you have God but it definitely feels like your alone.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I call Friends like this, @LorryC... Fair weather friends to the Ends.
    Dry your tears here, dear. Get used to this. Friends come and go, don't get Too attached, and Only Trust You, Yourself and God, as the Three of the Best from the Rest.
    Many times, they Mistake your own Kindness for Weakness. You have sadly Allowed them to do this. When the Chips are Down, even though You have Always been Around, it is a Test to See if they will be There for You in the End.
    Good luck. xx

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What Guys Said 12

  • The solution to this is for you to be fully focused on the journey, and not results and outcomes.
    Do not support others and help others in hopes or expectations of them appreciating your help and support.
    Help and support others because the act itself is beautiful, regardless of outcomes.
    When you give weight to results, then others will be able to affect and change who you truly are.
    Break free of that, and be happy and proud of yourself just from the fact that you are there for people.
    If they love you forever or they spit in your face, those will be reflections of what kind of people they are.
    Be strong, do not let the actions of others affect you. Keep helping people, and most importantly, forgive everyone.
    Them leaving you when you are in need is nothing but their loss. Trust me on this. Forgive them all and cheer up and never let what happened make you think twice about helping others in the future.
    Feel free to message me if you ever need support.

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  • I know how you feel.. I went through the same shit.. All you gotta do is stop caring and then they'll care.. The moment you stop giving a fuck they'll beg for you to give one ;)
    In the end there is no one there for you except you

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    • 2mo

      I really do try to stop caring, lol, but I find that part very hard. but I will try harder!

    • 2mo

      It'll be very hard but trust me once you stop then they'll regret.. And hey you got all of us.. We are your friends :)

  • You know and do it
    that is different from
    You dont know and do it.

    It is up to you choose whether you stand up and forgive humanity.

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  • This is his you know you have fake friends... And that you are doing too much for them when they don't even do the same for you..

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  • then those are not friends dear. i've been in the same boat months ago. i ditched em for good - best decision ever made.

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  • I am so sorry to hear that. You sound like a loving friend and you deserve far better.
    If it would be of any help please feel free to message me

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  • its the bitter truth of life

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  • News flash: They are not your friends. They use you.
    Find new friends.

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  • bc dear no one will stay with u when the times become tough
    she is not your friend

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  • Shit friends. Upgrade. Has nothing to do with you or your worth as a person.

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  • Those are what we call fake friends.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I had been there in your shoes. I don't necessarily recommend you to do the same, that's a decision you're gonna have to make by yourself.

    I had this friend. We even had the same rare first names. When she was sick, I wasn't too scared of her germs to visit her in the Hospital. When she was dumped, I let her crash at my place and we did things to keep her mind off him. But when she found her self a New boytoy, she would go from texting me everyday to nothing in two weeks. And when I told her I'm not feeling so good and was really lonely and she was the only Person I trust, she didn't care. In fact, she got mad at me instead for being "clingy".

    That was when I knew she was only using me, not really my friend. That was when I knew I didn't want her in my life any longer. So I cut her out.

    In life, you're gonna learn the hard way that sometimes, you have picked the wrong people to call your friends. Do what you think is best for you now (yes, It's time to be egoistic), and move on. Either you discuss issues with her and tell her how you feel (maybe she'll realize what she's doing and chang things), or you just
    .. I don't know. Your decision

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  • Well it must suck to go through all that.
    There are 2 possibilities -
    1. You mentioned she tried to commit suicide. Probably she's going through a lot (still) and that's why she's unintentionally doing that.
    2. She's a selfish person who doesn't appreciate what you have done for her.
    Wait for a while. Notice her behavior with other common friends of you two. If she's being nice to them and behaving odd with you, then 2 is the possibility. In that case, you should move on and distance yourself from her.
    If she behaves the same with other friends she behaves with you, let her be. Give her some more time to heal.

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    • 2mo

      no she is doing better, she also made new friends, friends she says has changed her for the better. she says when you get your life right God will remove the bad ones and give you new ones. but I never considered myself as a bad friend. only thing is, i am going through things as well, and didn't think I would be pushed away for going through a low time in my life.

    • 2mo

      If that's the case, she's not worth wasting your time on. Move on, you are better without people like her in your life. You have already a lot to face.

  • sorry but they ain't "friends"

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  • Because they're not your friends

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