In your experience, which is more painful/distressing: being rejected, or doing the rejecting?

I felt so guilty and uncomfortable when I rejected someone.

  • I've never been rejected nor rejected anyone
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  • I've only ever been rejected
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  • I've only ever rejected people, never been rejected myself
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  • they're both equally painful/distressing
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  • it's more painful/distressing to do the rejecting
    7% (3)9% (6)8% (9)Vote
  • it's more painful/distressing to BE rejected
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  • it totally depends.
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Updates:
2mo Update
2mo Also how often have you been rejected

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Most Helpful Guy

  • great question... doing the rejecting, but I'm working on that.

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    • 2mo

      I could have changed my vote on this to being rejected. It depends on when in my life. Early on, I couldn't stand rejection, now I can handle that and reecting takes more work, but getting ok with that either.

      How much rejection have I gotten... from females quite a bit, maybe rightfully so early on and the rejections were harder than the "acceptances". I then rejected the acceptances... conditioning, weakness and wounds. Gotta fixup the internally messed up stuff... that's when I started to function better... handle rejection better, and accept the acceptances with gladness.

      Emotions!!

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    • 2mo

      rejected more only because of online dating:), just by sense of being a guy, we have to ask a volume of women to get a potential.
      I've rejected girls though, I shouldn't have in many cases, but I did. In the end without Online dating, I bet I rejected more girls...

    • 2mo

      I know I did this because I was wounded by some girls earlier in life, and that was added on top of other rejections and insults at home... so I spent a lot of life rejecting other people who tried to get close. Had quite a few frustrated girls try and I shot them down...

Most Helpful Girl

  • I was rejected back in April, and I am now still enduring the pain and distress of having feelings for him while watching him date another girl.
    Rejecting someone is like a blood test, stings a bit when the needle hits, but after that you forget it's in there.
    Definitely being rejected is worse.

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    • 2mo

      Lol. Rejected by one guy. Women have it so hard!

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    • 2mo

      Hang in there girl, you will recover I promise! Was in a similar position like you, thought I could hang back and be his friend and supportive of him when he found the girl he was crazy about but then I realized how the pain never really went away it subsided but never disappeared so I had to say goodbye for good. Hardest thing I ever had to do :( but got through it!

    • 2mo

      @Ses1992 Aw thank you <3 I totally understand where you're coming from, and I think that's what I gotta do too. Glad to know you got through it!

What Guys Said 22

  • F obviously, rejecting someone isn't nice but you don't really care after a while like @luci92 says.

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    • 2mo

      Agreed.

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    • 2mo

      Aw that's so sad! Has it taken a toll on your self esteem? How many times have you been the rejecter?

    • 2mo

      Nah, its part of the game 😂the trick is to talk to more than one girl at a time.

      Me being the rejector is probably about 1/3 of the time and it's pretty much every girl who has approached me first.

  • I really don't mind getting rejected that much, cause 99% of the time I'm not really that emotionally invested when the rejection happens, I'm just proud of myself for at least trying and then I move on. I definitely hate rejecting girls more, because it's much rarer for a girl to approach you so that's why I hate turning them down when girls go out of their comfort zone like that.

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  • Saying it's more painful to reject someone than to be rejected is like saying it's more painful for you to punch someone in the face 😑

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    • 2mo

      If you punch someine, it's because you WANT to hurt them, though. Most of the time, the rejecter doesn't WANT to hurt the rejected.

    • 2mo

      Either way, the pain of the punch still hurts them waaaaaayyyyyyy more than it hurts you

  • I've only ever been rejected. No women have ever shown any interest in me at all and any interest i show in them is shot down instantly. I fail to see how these women could possibly be more hurt by this, you are talking nonsense. The idea that some girl is feeling sad when cuddled up with her boyfriend of an evening because she had to reject an ugly guy like me is laughable.

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    • 2mo

      We feel guilty

    • 2mo

      Doesn't seem that way to me. I expect the overwhelming majority of women who rejected me forgot all about me within minutes and never though about me again.

    • 2mo

      Lol, when I rejected someone, I was literally looking up witchcraft spells to try to make him fall out of love with me to ease his pain :P

  • Men have the option if "Preemptive" rejection. Which means we just never ask her out, so we don't have to really reject her out front. Girls will send signals, but you never act on them. It's pretty easy to do

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  • I never really rejected anyone. Been rejected quite a bit but the sting fades after the first few times

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  • Being rejected is somewhat more distressing than rejecting someone.

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    • 2mo

      As far as how often I'm rejected, I haven't been keeping score.

    • 2mo

      Have you been rejected or been a rejecter more often?

    • 2mo

      I believe I have been the rejector more often.

  • Hmm doing the rejecting is more stressful.

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  • They're both painful, I really hate doing the rejecting

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  • being rejected for sure

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  • Being rejected is hard thing to deal with

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  • i dont care either way.

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    • 2mo

      "Also how often have you been rejected "

      more than 5 times i guess, i dont really count.

  • i think being rejected is more distressing

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  • How would it hurt to reject someone?

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  • It totally depends upon each individual case.

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  • Being rejected hurts but i get back up and try again.

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  • I've never been rejected, but I do feel bad when I push people away

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  • I'm usually the one doing the rejecting since some girls have told me their friends have crushes on me so I usually have to do the rejecting.

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  • Never been rejected nor rejected anyone myself, so I cannot say.

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  • Aha!! So women do indeed have feelings upon viewing the opposite sex. I shall take note.

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  • Only been rejected, but that's pretty easy to get over. If I did ever have to reject someone, that would be rough... especially if it wasn't their fault (ie. I just didn't feel a connection anymore)

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  • Being rejected by the girl you love :(

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What Girls Said 4

  • I think it's more painful to reject or hurt someone's feelings.

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  • It depends on the circumstances, definitely.

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  • Being rejected

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  • Never been rejected. Imagine it would be worse than rejecting.

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