I'm 19 and never had a boyfriend?

It didn't use to bother me so much but it became an issue at work so i'm really depressed about it. I moved to the UK when I was 13, had few friends and no guy friends at that time. I was kind of bullied then and i'm always quiet. Few guys did like me then but I was too quiet and shy so I would avoid them. Moving on to college, I was still the same and I was embarassed about myself at that time so I didn't want to have a boyfriend as well and I had a problem with a friend so I became more depressed and didn't want to make friends.

at work, I told one colleague that i never had a boyfriend and I thought that wasn't an issue but she must have because she started acting weird since then. She told everyone else about it cause they were asking me about it and also they started assuming that since i've never had a boyfriend, not seeing anyone and i'm "beautiful", i'm not into boys but girls instead.

I want to have a boyfriend too and there's someone I like but I don't talk to him anymore and he's far away but these people are assuming I am a lesbian because i'm not interested with the guys at work. I'm like the baby at work and they would say i'm so innocent because of the way I look and talk. Also, i'm the idiot one who keeps sharing stuff about me because I thought they were nice. Now they would always ask me if I have a boyfriend and I wish they would just leave me alone. Last night I overheard that same girl saying something along these line 'she have a beautiful face blah blah blah well, you can't have everything'. I even lied when another colleague asked me if I have a boyfriend, I told her I'm seeing someone she probably knew I was lying cause they were still saying stuff. Bleh.

I'm super depressed and I'm usually good at talking myself out of it but at this moment, I'm just so fed up.

i just need someone to convince me that these people are useless.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Let's get this clear first- Do you actually want to have a boyfriend? Or do you just want your co-workers to stop taunting you about not having one? If it's the latter, all you need to do is just turn the other cheek and ignore them. People are always going to make nasty, snide comments about you, especially when they're envious and jealous of you. If you want, you could go on the counter-offensive and say stuff about them to get under their skin, though that could escalate the situation. If you do actually want a boyfriend now though, regardless of what your colleagues have to say, then there's no reason why you can't get one.

    You're a beautiful, quiet and shy college graduate girl with a full-time job, who's still open and willing to share stuff about herself to people if she thinks they're nice, looks and talks in a way that's described as 'innocent', and who's never had a boyfriend before. In my humble opinion, you sound like you'd be a dream girlfriend, and getting a boyfriend should be a piece of cake for you. Maybe even more so than you know- which region of the UK do you reside in? And out of interest, which country did you move here from? If you want to talk a bit more privately, feel free to PM me.

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    • 1mo

      Thank you so much for trying to help! I appreciate it so much!

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      You're welcome. Like I said, any time...

    • 1mo

      Really? I live just outside London. Ever heard of Slough? It's not the nicest place in the commuter belt (see www.urbandictionary.com/define.php and the people around here can be pretty couth and classless (see www.urbandictionary.com/define.php but hey, it's where I'm from. And you know, plenty of guys around here used to spout the same sort of crap about me, cause I'd focused on my studies and my career instead of giving it large and trying to get with a girl for the sake of it. So I can definitely relate. I'm looking for a girlfriend myself at the moment, you know- and like I said, sounds to me like you'd be everything I'd want my dream girlfriend to be. So if you're still interested in finding a boyfriend too, and the age gap isn't too much of an issue (since you sound mature enough to me), fancy continuing this through PM?

Most Helpful Girl

  • These people don't feed you nor are they the ones who pay your bills. Judging by their shallowness at the workplace as you've mentioned, they're most likely not going to be by your side if you were to fall very ill. Keep your priorities straight.

    I know how hard it is to be quiet but I never let anyone's words got to me. I didn't have lots of females friends because they only talked badly of each other - just as you've portrayed it ("She told everyone else... etc.); so I ended up with a bunch of guy friends. I too was called a lesbian.

    Don't let them get to you, you're much stronger than that. You're still young and you have so much ahead of you. When I was 19, I've never had a boyfriend too but years later, love of my life approached and I'm glad I waited for him. In this day and age, too many young girls are getting their hearts broken because they are pressurized by their peers and environment to get into a relationship. It's best to wait things out because, waiting to fall in love with the right person is far better than getting your heartbroken countless of times. You're young and sweet, don't let other people taint you. You know what's good for you, not someone who doesn't even take the time to get to know you and are already spreading ridiculous rumors about you in the workplace. I don't see a reason that you should rush getting into a relationship either.

    You sound like a smart girl, so I trust you'll make the right decisions at the end of the day. Best regards! And stay sweet!

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    • 1mo

      Thank you so much and i'm really happy I could relate to someone! I wish you all the best !

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 1

  • What you need to do is focus on what you want and not what other people think of you. That is the problem. This isn't a boyfriend issue. This is: how can I please other people issue. Stop it. If your not interested in a boyfriend, your not interested. If other people want to act funny because they think your weird of too awkward, heck with them! I'm the same way. And I went through what your going through. Ignore them. And stop advertising your business, they're picking on you because your allowing them to. That colleague of your is NOT your friend, she is a gossiper. The whole lot of them. I'm a Celibate woman who still never dated or had a boyfriend, and by the word 'celibate' neither do I want to. Why? Because of many different reasons I can't list them all. But you need to find your reasons for not dating and stick to it.

    And you being physically attractive to their eyes have absolutely 0 anything to do with it. I get the same treatment as you. they figure because your attractive that you have to have somebody to date or marry. But they don't care about the struggles and the heartache you go through when dealing with such issues. Especially when its either wanted or unwanted. You have so many guys out here who is not for you, they play around with a girls head, sell her pipe dreams and just want to use her for sex. Then you have people who may be kind and all but doesn't share the same views, morals or belief's as you. And then you have people who just finds you too weird or strange, or whatever their reason is to avoid you all together. You have your own problems. Don't make theirs yours. When your able and ready for that kind of relationship only you would know, nobody else because it is not their life. It is yours.

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    • 1mo

      Thank you for your advise it really helped me so much!!! I hope you all the best!

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