I feel like my life is empty, how can I fix it?

I have camming and fans and my apartment. Some nice things but nothing terribly extravagant. A little money in the bank.. not that that's even hugely important to me.

The guy I love comes around when he's lonely and has free time.. he doesn't really fit me into or involve me in his life. I have guys.. mostly much older guys.. who keep me company when he's not around.

Most of the friends I had are like strangers now and the ones I have left just want to drink and party and bone on webcam with me.

It's a really bleak, hypersexual, lonely life :( what's even worse is I don't feel like there's any long term certainty in ANY of it.. I'm terrified of losing what I DO have.

I'm studying to get into school but that feels like a mountain to conquer at my age and I'm scared I'm not strong enough.

Actually I'm scared I'm not strong enough for any of this anymore. I don't know if I can keep doing it. How can I fix this and get a sense of normalcy? Everything feels so dark and I don't know what to do :(


0|0
5|30

Most Helpful Guy

  • Is your apartment rent expensive? Can you afford to buy where you live? If you're concerned about money, I would consider moving to a part of the country with affordable housing. I'm guessing you live in an expensive area due to camming probably paying well. Having that kind of stability may help with anxiety.

    It sounds like you have a desire to do other things that your partying friends aren't interested in. There are other people you can meet that you'd probably enjoy their company and have a common interest in trying other hobbies outside of alcohol and whatever other drugs. I remember how common it is for people your age to mainly just want to socialize with alcohol and sex. *boring*

    Losing what you do have may actually be beneficial long term. It can motivate people towards personal growth and evaluating the kind of life and interests one wants to focus on, like you're contemplating at an early stage.

    School may be great for you. If you aren't inspired enough to finish what you've started there are lots of other paths towards success and fulfillment without a formal degree. What you're learning will still benefit you in someways overall as a person regardless. At the least, it's a sign you're trying to find fulfillment and stability. It's not necessary towards those things though.

    I wouldn't necessarily strive for normalcy. I would seek personal growth like you are now in whatever way you're good at learning and in whatever areas that make sense and feel good to you. I believe you will benefit directly based on the effort you put in.

    0|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • You should get away from where you are and do something you’ve never done before. Like just pack a bag and go someplace that you’ve never been and do something you’ve never done before. It seems you’re stuck in the rut of your life, your friends, this guy and overall just depressed about where you’re at in this point of your life and that can make anyone doubt their sanity. I would suggest just getting out of your area and doing something to take the normalcy out of everything you’ve done in the past and try and shake yourself from this funk you seem to be in and then look at your life from a new sight you know. Just get away for a few days if you’re able and then look at your life fresh.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 29

  • I'm gonna put my best Dr. Drew hat on...

    Were you sexually molested by someone growing up? Reason i ask is because a lot women who use sex as a means to connect with men is due to some sort of sexual abuse at a young age often leading lives where they rely on physical interaction to be close to men leaving them as you feel... empty.

    ^ From what i've just observed, often therapy helps reconnect and rewire your brain to find other means to connect to men and people in general.

    "I'm studying to get into school but that feels like a mountain to conquer at my age and I'm scared I'm not strong enough."

    I hope you reach your goals and as tall of a mountain as it seems, keep chipping away.. before you know it you'll be standing at the top!

    1|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      I mean that's really personal but I guess I'm okay talking about it more now than I once was. Yeah I was.

      I have done therapy but it doesn't seem to help. It drains me.

    • 2mo

      "I mean that's really personal but I guess I'm okay talking about it more now than I once was. Yeah I was.

      I have done therapy but it doesn't seem to help. It drains me. "

      - It's going to be a very intense and emotionally draining process, however did you do all the exercises the therapist challenged you to do? It's something you've got to stick with and i know that i am simply giving "broad and all encompassing" advice here but I can say that you need to be re-wired and understand why you are the way you are.

      " I feel like my life is empty, how can I fix it? "
      - The deep rooted issue here i feel is going to be too much for any online or vague "go buy ice cream" type advice. I believe you need a therapist that you are comfortable, trust and confidence in and most importantly... you need your drive to want to improve your quality of life! maybe not today.. this year or the next but one day... you will reach a point of being sick of this feeling.

      @theccanyon

  • Maybe you're doing stuff without your 'heart' being involved. Some aspect of you maybe detests the camming? Ultimately, you do have some aspect of choice. Maybe you would be happier doing something different, keeping higher standards for your company, and learning to be happy around yourself, and to raise your esteem :) These things are all obtainable! The sex seems lust without the intimacy. Money and status are important, but they're not the be all and end all. Ultimately, this needs to be rooted in action to some degree. You can't keep doing stuff that wounds yourself, and makes you feel bad about yourself.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I am really not sure what to say - I will just address last part first, from what I know of you here on GaG, you are plenty strong and smart enough to achieve your goal of going to school.
    The other part of your question is the sometimes the down/lonely moment where you are reflecting on life and you get a bit fearful/insecure moment. I call it the 4am moment and you can't sleep, a lot of the time you don't notice it and drift off eventually but other times it gets inside your head like a hamster on a wheel.
    My advice is look for ways to cope, ways that make you feel better, constructive/positive interaction with yourself , basically find out what makes you happy. Learn to love/like yourself more, think of things, listen to things that build you up rather than tear you down.
    I hope that makes a bit sense and I hope your head clears soon.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You're living a pointless, hedonistic lifestyle where you fuck multiple guys and even fool around as a webcam girl. If you're aren't strong enough to kick these people out of your life and find others more sensitive to your needs, that's a problem you might have to deal with for the rest of your life.

    To be honest, your life sucks ballsack, and I'm glad I'm not you. Thanks for giving me inspiration to continue kicking life's ass while you sit and swallow in misery that you brought upon yourself by your own stupid decisions.

    0|1
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Only an aspy would leave a comment like that

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      You're proving my point :/ lack of empathy.. lack of a filter. You aren't being very nice and you don't seem to realize.

      As for the other thing.. it's kinda childish to just mirror what I said about you back at me. Like you could come up with something original :/

    • 2mo

      Also by the way people with aspergers are less likely to show signs of depression.. which may be why you think it's a bad thing to be sad.

  • You are strong enough. If you became homeless tomorrow what would you do? Would you wallow in misery or would you get off your ass, walk into every fast food joint in town, and demand a job? Would you get two jobs, and get back on your feet? Life's a bitch. Sometimes the only way to fix a fucked up life is to become the equivalent of homeless. When you strip away all the bullshit that leaves you starting from square one, you are then free to do what you need without the extra baggage that is attached. I'm not telling you to throw yourself into the street. I'm just saying, you're gonna need to find a way to shed some of that baggage, and get some strength and work to either follow your goals and dreams, or find some to follow and just go ham on life. It's definitely hard and we all go through it... except maybe rich kids lol.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Losing what you do have is exactly what you need. What you have isn't working for you.

    It sounds like you need a committed relationship that is going somewhere. You won't find that doing what you are doing. Give up the other guys, including the one you love, risk being alone for a while and try to find the right person for you. The truth is that Mr Right will not come along while you are messing around with Mr Wrong.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It seems you need a radical change. Reorganize your priorities, think about what's really bothering you and what you could life without and get rid of it. Then fight for what you want, no mountain is big enough.

    Have in mind that this life won't last forever. Today you're young, but tomorrow...

    0|0
    0|0
  • First, you need to realize you can do this. That's step one. Then, step two - the hardest you'll have to take - you're going to have to trust someone. From your post, trust is an issue for you. I could be reading it wrong, but that's what it seems like. Get with someone you trust, and pour yourself out. All of it. Good. Bad. Do it. Then reconnect with yourself. Then come back. You'll be ready then.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well, that's quite a difficult one. I don't know about your working status but i am assuming you're not working rn. That's not good. Either you should study what you like or go do things you wish like try learning how to build table. Moreover your relationship is not good, you should communicate with your SO , i don't think he is doing great job, it looks he is using for sex. You mentioned you're trying to get in school, you should go to some tutorials and meet people. It will help a lot. MH if i helped 😂

    0|0
    0|0
  • You just need to find yourself!.. Go to church!..
    Clear your head!..
    God won't help you but the system of church or any other holy auspicious place is designed to help you break mental blocks and it really helps you think!..
    It's not religious or spiritual!.. It more psychological!..

    0|0
    0|0
  • My honest option is to shut the fuck up and make the right choices.
    You know your guy is only coming around for sex, so drop him and find someone who respects you.
    You are in school... try your hardest to finish that and get a job in something you love. Stop fucking with people who disrespect you. Stop disrespecting yourself by camming. Maybe than, you'll meet someone who will treat you right and show you what life is about.
    Till then, stop complaining because you are doing this to yourself.

    1|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      No he's not using me for sex. He could get easier pussy than me.. trust me. For whatever else I know he values me as a person.

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      Yeah :( he is 4 hours away though. And it's not like I'm driving there every weekend either. He's busy but he still drives an average of 16 hours a month to see me. He just recently drove 24 in a week.

      He does try in his way..

    • 2mo

      Then why are you complaining and fucking around with other men?

  • Find a good Christian Church. Sounds like some counseling might help.

    0|0
    0|1
    • 2mo

      It might sound crazy because I've been so non religious for so long but last night I was really considering going to church. I just feel like I wouldn't fit in now.

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      @Nik1hil yes you can join a community service group, or a group to help the poor and homeless. You will feel better about yourself if you realize how bad homeless have it.

    • 2mo

      Atheists sure act like they have something to sell besides a dead end.

  • U r 21 and strong enough to reach moon. Trust me.. been there!.
    First thing I wanna point is this is jst a start of ur life, u r jst 21 .. if u calculate average age acc to recent medical advancement.. on an average a person is goin to live 100+ years and hence settling down age also becomes no where less than 30.

    Second I wanna state is that u need passion I'm ur life, sth u love or may like doing.. if u don't know it yet. try involving urself in different activities u will find it. Make small small targets , like u r studying so decide like u will finish these many topics in 2 days, start with small goals.

    Try doing some part time job, it can be anything and as u feel lonely u will love if as u will interact wth people and earn. But keep in mind ur main goal studies or else!..

    Try develop some constructive hobbies it can b anything u like or people around u like.

    Best of luck!

    0|0
    0|0
  • You're not alone a lot of girls are camming and don't know how to get past it. Truth is that might be the most you can earn in the economy right now. If you don't imagine yourself in that area much longer then try to develop some skill (not bj skill) that is useful in the market for employers (again not bj skill!). The only way you are going to earn more than camming is by doing that. The guys can be mean on there and think it's funny to put people down. Are you afraid to get out and meet real people because you think they won't accept you for what you do?

    0|0
    0|0
  • If he only comes around when he's lonely and when he wants to he doesn't love you. Sprry to say it 😕 he's basically using you cuz you ard there. Message me anytime if you wanna talk 😊

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm 21 and I know some of those feels, I can't get a girlfriend let alone talk to girls, I have plenty of friends tho and I'm not broke, trying to get through college but struggling

    don't think I'll ever get a gf/family/etc, about to just say fuk it and give up on life

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Dude I am 22 and never had a girlfriend. Although, I have had sex.

    • 2mo

      yeah but its not consistent sex is it? lol yeah I've had a couple ONS in my life but thats it

      same boat as you broseph

  • Your a woman in a gynocentrism society and culture. How can you not be happy? You even have more rights and privileges and men... what more do you women want?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Is this a real story? I can't understand how a girl can do so much injustice to herself by putting her life in a mess. Only God can save he. She needs a miracle to happen in her life. She needs to repent what she is doing and start a new life.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Firstly and mostly...

    Life is short don't waste it by thinking about the future...

    Just go with the flow and do what you love...

    And I guarantee you will love it at the end...

    I follow it works for me 😄

    0|0
    0|0
  • having sex
    that should fill it right up lol

    look hun whats your purpose
    you think you where born to show some titties and make money lol
    really lol

    if you choose to do the right thing you are gonna be alone most of the time and even when you follow the coward you are still alone and you know that

    so do the right thing

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well you have that Chad you are dating so I think you will be gucci.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Congratulations you're liberated!! Thank feminism for your happy fulfilled life

    0|2
    0|0
  • Sounds like you need some deep introspection and finding out what you want out of life.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Be better to people and they'll be better to you

    0|0
    0|0
    • 2mo

      Uh huh..:/

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      I never really showed interest in anything but sexting and roleplay. Sorry if you misunderstood but I'm telling you now sooo

    • 2mo

      That's fine, I'm open to being friends then if you're ok with that

  • I thought you said he was the first guy you actually loved...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Embrace your hypersexuality

    0|0
    0|0
  • Your not the only one. Most 20 year olds have an up and down relationship with life at our age. We are at our peaks young men and women where we are trying to figure ourselves out as adults. Keep doing what your doing and dont limit yourself.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I feel like that at times only because I lost so much recently but I try to believe there is hope and keep and busy myself with things I like to do do

    0|0
    0|0
  • Find a short/weak man to dominate and enslave... make him serve you like a queen...

    I dunno, just an idea lol

    0|0
    0|1

What Girls Said 4

  • Take a break from if all, go to a spa and get a massage/mani/pedi/hair done or something. Use it as a time to reflect on what you want and how to get it. The guy who only comes when it's convenient is not looking at your best interest obviously so I say cut ✂️ him ✂️ off✂️ emotionally. Physically if you want to.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Find a boyfriend who can play a musical instrument, write some songs, put an act together and perform on You Tube and in the local village hall.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Try making some normal friends and get involved in something you like. If you ever need to talk to someone you're more than welcome to message me❤.

    0|0
    0|0
  • get rid of the friends, cause they're useless

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...