Why do I suck with women?

Just your average 21 year old college student here. Been doing pretty well at every other aspect of life except for the ladies. I know, I know, I'm super young and don't have to worry about this yet and shouldn't be focusing on it. However, it's tough to not want them because hormones. I started liking girls when I was 13 or so. There was a beautiful blonde in my high school who always called me cute and adorable and sweet. She was really playful too, she came up from behind me and gave me hugs in lunch line, put her hands on my shoulders, her head on my neck if we were waiting in a line and she was "tired." I thought she liked me at the time too. This isn't as related but we played flag football in our gym class and she was playing quarterback and I was on the other team. She decided to tuck it and run and I went to grab her flag and accidentally touched her boobs (her flag was way above her waist in my defense). Instead of getting mad she kept giggling. I was horrified the whole time honestly. But after that she just kept asking me to help her with homework, and whenever I tried to flirt with her she ignored me. Why? Who knows. She seemed to love playing with me and teasing, and then when I tried to pursue she had none of it. To a lesser degree, this has happened with pretty much every other girl I've liked. They show signs of interest, I reciprocate, they stop. This last girl is still in my head. Unbelievably smart, cutest 6 foot tall girl I've ever seen. She's a grad student now at my school. Haven't actually talked to her since last year. We used to help each other with homework, then she decided to stop talking to me, stop responding to texts. Hates me. I don't know why. Sometimes I want to send her a text telling her how I felt and still feel, but I know she doesn't care and that hurts so badly. I constantly go back and forth in my head "Should I do it or should I try to forget her." I feel like I may have loved her, it was definitely something more. Ugh :(


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Bruh this is so long! Sorry but I didn't read it.

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    • 1mo

      Why would you answer if you didn't read it ahaha. There is one kind of funny part so you should read it for entertainment sake

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    • 1mo

      Of course it does. But girls are too tough to figure out for me right now, and the constant riddle of why they don't like me has gone far enough.

    • 1mo

      Lmao well good luck and hope you find the right one.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly it sounds like your still learning. It also sounds that you like me aproach women on more freindly terms. Which can back fire ask they might not want to romantically like us and want to just be freinds. I'm currently stuck trying to ask out one of my female freinds. However with her I actually had no intention for a long time to ever ask her out.
    It sounds like your 13 year old girl was just starting to like guys and started wondering about them. She liked being touched on the boob probably because no one had ever done so. At that age I had a girl show me her boobs in PE on accident by doing her pushups in front of me with a huge grin.
    There could be a ton of reasons why the most recent one stopped talking to you. I doubt that she hates you. Women normally lets you know that they hate you before cutting contact. I'm guessing the problem is that you keep texting her. She like you said does not want that attention from you. So you should stop texting her unless you just want to be her freind. I suggest stopping with her. She is clearly not romantically interested in you and your pushing is making her pull away even more from you.
    I understand it is really hard to give up on someone but with some women you do just have to give up and move on. Sorry mate.

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    • 1mo

      I don't try to text her that often though. During the summer I only texted her twice, and those were like 2 months apart from one another. It's not like I'm constantly pestering her every damn day or week. After all of this sometimes I just wish I could give up on women entirely. It would be a hell of a lot easier to not have any feelings for them and being fine than having to try and struggle for affection. Seven or so years of liking them and zero happy memories involving them

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    • 1mo

      I know, a note would be more appropriate for something more heartfelt than just a text/email. I probably won't end up doing that, it'll just make me seem like more of a "pushover" like @SoFeckenAddicted suggests. The smarter move would probably be to delete her off Facebook and delete/block her number, that way I can't ever talk to her again. It'll be what's best for the both of us in the long run. Maybe I'll go a step further and delete/block every girl except family members on Facebook and phone number. Fresh start

    • 1mo

      Actually that will probably make it worse. And leave you wondering. Just unfollow her on facebook. You don't need to block and delete her. It is childish to do so. She has not unfreinded you yet so she is not to angry at you.

What Girls Said 1

  • No offense. But you sound like a pushover.

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    • 1mo

      I don't let myself get used. I think it might be in my best interest to forget about it all for a while though. It would be nice to know what I'm doing wrong though

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    • 1mo

      No im not lol. Im calm. Bye

    • 1mo

      That's some necklace then haha. Bye

What Guys Said 4

  • What happens that different when you start showing some interest in these girls?

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    • 1mo

      Basically a girl and I will have known each other, help each other with homework, have lunch together after class, etc. Then I'll ask her if she wants to hang out, and she'll either make up an excuse, like oh I have to do this or whatever, and then never suggests another date. Or she'll say yeah I'll be down for that, just let me know! And then I'll ask hey do you want to do that thing on Friday? And she'll say no I have plans, and then the cycle keeps going. I try to reschedule, she has "plans". Never suggests another date, we just keep going until I realize that she never wants to do it (usually after I get a second round of excuses). They go from being friendly to acting like I don't exist or matter. I'm not intimidating (5 foot 11 maybe 150 or so) and I make sure not to ever overstep any boundaries, so I don't know. Maybe that's my black mark, I just suck at women

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    • 1mo

      Makes sense to me man. Is there anything I can do about this other girl though? I think not. I really want to be able to communicate with her, but I think my goose is cooked

    • 1mo

      Being in the friendzone is like being dead and embalmed. Give it up and move on.

  • Best advice I can give you, act interested and let her know you acknowledge her. Then stop. This is where you take a step back and play hard to get. Face it everyone loves the chase. Because you feel like now you have too have what you can't get. If it's too easy we as humans find it boring that's why girls love a bad boy. He's mysterious and hard to control. Try it dude you'll be surprised. And last of all confidence. If you are confident in yourself girls will see it and want to get to know you more rather than that shy guy. Good luck dude and most of all have fun!

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    • 1mo

      You're so right man. I feel like I am pretty confident. I'm not flamboyant in your face confident, but I rarely second guess myself. Is it too late to do anything about this last girl? The first time I saw her was at an academic honor society thing. She was giving a talk to the eligibles (us) and never took her eyes off me the whole time. We were in a class together and she seemed to like me. We texted a lot and she seemed into it, but after I got back from studying abroad she seemed to have lost interest a bit. And I've kept on trying to see how she's doing and what's going on and she doesn't even want to talk. She just responds with two word answers or says something disinterested. I want to get some clarity as to what went through her head, but I don't know if communicating my feelings would help the cause at all.

    • 1mo

      I wouldn't say it's too late, but at the same time what will be will be. I'd say text her and say this " Hey, me and some mates are going to the pub, do you fancy a pint (whatever drink I guess) really fancy a good sesh"
      This let's her know it's not a straight up one on one and it will be a relaxed night of drinking and having a laugh. And that's just it dude you and some mates go for a drink and just have fun. Be a little flirty but don't give her all your focus

  • Women aren't worth the time of day. Just forget about them... don't waste your precious time thinking about them unless you need sex.

    That's what they're good for. Having sex, making babies and serving men like me

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    • 1mo

      I never need sex. Made it this far haha

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    • 1mo

      Blacks were also bitter when they were 2nd class citizens. Here are some of Buddha's teachings:

      “Lord, how should we behave towards women?” Ananda asked the Sublimity — “NOT LOOK AT THEM!” — “But what if we must look at them?” — “NOT SPEAK TO THEM” — “But what if we must speak to them?” — “KEEP WIDE AWAKE!”

      Why do you think we've always kept the women in check? Hasn't it ever crossed your mind?

    • 1mo

      Relationships are feminist affairs and should be avoided like the plague!!

  • you achieved more than I ever did

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    • 1mo

      It always makes for a good story hahaha. I still have that girls number too. Maybe some day in the far future I'll ask her if she remembers it haha

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