What event from the past has shaped you into the person you are today?

For me, I was molested/fondled by my older brother when I was 8. And because of him I have trust issues, I don't like physical contact (hugs especially, and anything that has to do with sex, which might explain why I'm still a virgin), men intimidate me, I have low self esteem and I have anxiety and was diagnosed with symptoms of depression (my doctor and therapist don't want to fully give me a diagnosis since I'm not an adult yet and my depression could just be from me being a teenager and blah), and so on.

So yeah, how about you?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i moved out of my family house an had to support myself for a while by waking up at 5am everyday and working a hard labor job.. it helped shape me into the disciplined person i am today and it made me have an infinite amount of respect for my parents

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    • 1mo

      thanks for mho

Most Helpful Girl

  • My ex took all I had. He left me homeless and penniless. I struggled for years to rebuild my life and regain my strength. I now have back more than I lost.

    I'm a stronger and more independent person now. So the past has defined me in a postive way rather than negative, but that's only because I've prevented it from destroying me mentally and emotionally

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What Guys Said 18

  • 1. Fact is young lady that we all are meant to keep evolving
    2. Yes though there may be one particular event that changed a thought or style towards some particular thing, those that carry it on for a lifetime go stagnant and thus probably only harm & hurt self more
    3. I have kept and still am evolving with everything that transpires around me
    4. In your situation (though you've not asked for it), do your therapist & doctor know you were molested when younger by your brother?
    4.1. If not then let them know this else the whole line of treatment is a waste of time and effort from both ends apart from being an unwitting sham
    5. Things happen and it's sad this happened to you but again, it's your call if you want to dwell on this all your life or make something good of your life in all possible ways - remember to evolve is to be happy & survive while to remain stuck with things closed up inside you stagnates you and anything stagnant only disintegrates - this is nature's law :)

    Good luck & god speed

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  • I have lived and study abroad twice (in two different countries). This has certainly had a significant influence on how I think and how I perceive the world around me.
    Apart from that, I have been born almost completely blind on both eyes, so that's obviously also something that shaped me into the person I am today. For better or worse, I would probably be a completely different person if I hadn't grown up with my blindness/visual impairment.

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  • man that is really awful to hear about...

    really all events shape us i think. i've had a ton but one for me was the death of my best friend in 5th grade

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  • I grew up in a family of 5 kids. Money was tight and anything I wanted I had to work for and earn it myself. So I don't rely on other to provide for me, I am good with money today and chose to not have kids of my own.

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  • I always say, "My first job has enabled me to make my second career possible". I learned a lot of things on my first job. Right from how to behave with people of my own age , to people who were much older to me. From interacting with people who were doing low paid jobs to people who were high executives. Also how to interact with outsiders and customers and how to keep them happy. How to maintain your discipline , honesty respect and goodwill. How to take care of emergencies and difficult situations. And how to always keep on learning and growing. This has molded into the person I am today. And not to forget , my religious thoughts and experiences have kept me alive and burning brightly with high spirits.

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  • There's no single event that "forever changed me" or what have you. Late teens were a struggle due to drugs and being an average vagabond, lots of thievery. I've been mostly "molded" by military service. They gave me discipline and taught me how to be in control.

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  • Sorry to hear about your anxieties.

    I reckon for me it was the first death I... encountered I guess.
    That pushed me into being inquisitive. I wanted to understand better the existential mechanisms in which we live. This led me to being analytical and a little cynical. I'm quite content with how I am currently, but I strive to improve.

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  • I would say a girl did it, few years ago, i changed a lot physically and mentally i treat girls much differently and see their true colors i treat people differently and iam much tougher than before , i am much more attractive with a better style, overall i improved a lot, and all that happened because a girl decided she wants to break my heart.

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  • for me there was no one event that shaped me , it was gowning up with someone who was mentally ill. and learning to deal with there problems.

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  • I do have issues in the past about being bullied. I also have had sexual harrasment issues where I was the victim.

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  • Nothing really, I just evolved. Like a fish, only without the water or the gills... Not like a fish at all in other words.

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  • when i was 8 my 23 year old male cousin anally raped me 3 times
    it almost destroyed me but i buried it for 40 years

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  • Let's see. Mine would be my parents divorce. They split when I was 5 and whenever they are together they constantly fight

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  • My father had an accident and it took him 3 years to stand up again. Due to his expenses and no job I started learning when I was 16 as a part time teacher. This changed my life so much.
    . sorry to hear about urs.

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  • My time in the scouts did a lot for me. It developed my leadership skills better.

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  • You need a guy like me in ur life, I love helping people, not relationships...

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  • I been told I'm weird my whole life and slow I was unemployed for a little. Later I found minimum or $2 more wage paying jobs. It wasn't enough to support my family, so I started my busines for 7yrs. I did good for being slow but finally I understood I had to find a real job so now I have a real job and avg about 17$$ he and bought a house , have nice cars , good savings acount. Finally I'm doing better or the same as anyone else. But what really made me change was my autistic son. I t came to my head I had to get the depression and low self esteem out of my head


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  • My shyness when I was younger has kept me from getting better things in life and was hard to overcome

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What Girls Said 5

  • I was molested by m u best friend's grandfather at 8, and for that I don't trust old men. What really got me though is being betrayed by my entire family for the sake of resources. My sister tried to convince me that I had a mental illness for 6 years, so that she could have control of my social security check. Since i was already socially awkward because of being molested, it worked and I ended up as her cleaning slave since "I was too ill to have a job." Then my mom turned around and pulled the same sh*t when I finally started getting on my feet. After that I realized that it is never a good idea to totally trust anyone because most people will take from you if they can.

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  • I was also sexually assaulted I was very, very young and don't remember most of it. Still doesn't make it okay. Especially since I can remember screaming and how my dad came running to see what was going on. I never told my parents how I felt. Again, I was very young so I don't think it shaped me. I was always an introvert and very intuitive. I am a very guarded person, when I feel upset I don't even tell my parents.

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  • The exact same thing as you. My brother molested and raped me basically up until I was 19. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety. And literally go into shock or a panic attack if someone hugs or touches me. I kinda got over that with the boy I like but he's gone now and I'm back to being scared of people

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  • i have trust issues and self image issues from my past relationship

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  • stop living in the past, and try to move forward. get help if you need.

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