I've never had a boyfriend. Why are people so shallow?

Few of the reasons why i've never had a boyfriend is because i'm not that good with socialising, i'm awkward, i'm too shy to talk to boys.

I just recently turned 18 and I was having a conversation with a colleague and I told her I have never had a boyfriend and not seeing anyone. They all assumed I was gay because i've never had a boyfriend. They also say stuff about me being innocent, cute, beautiful.

it wouldn't be a problem if they assumed I was because I know i'm not but they think I stare at them/check them out when all I do is actually stare into space. They would stand with their backs infront of me on purpose then look at me weirdly, they think i'm staring at them. It gets reallly awkward and I actually get affected as in I would get irritated because why would they even think i'm that way.

they do this all the time and they would just stand in front of me and would purposely try to get close to me. They would do nonsense stuff because I presume they're trying to validate the fact that I might be gay. I am not but it is really bothering me when they do it and I am aware when they actually do stuff like that.

I don't know if i'm just paranoid or what but it really irritates me.

Some guys at work seems interested in me but i'm a really quiet person and as I said, i'm shy around guys because i'm scared i'll look like an idiot.

They immediately assume I was gay just because i've never had a boyfriend and i don't seem interested with any guys at work. Can't they think of other reasons? Why are people, adults in fact, so shallow? I'm actually so depressed and this just makes it worse.


0|0
6|9

Most Helpful Guy

  • Perhaps your friends are in disbelief that you haven't had a boyfriend because they find you to be pretty and the only reason they can come up to explain your status is that you just aren't interested in men. An extrovert will never understand an introvert or somebody who is shy and vice versa, you're best to not even bother wasting energy or time trying to explain your predicament to anybody who also isn't shy. As for their teasing of you, I'm not sure why you are so upset if you are confident about your sexuality. Why does it matter what they might think?

    I used to be kind of shy as well but I eventually got out of it by just forcing myself out of my comfort zone. I've come to realize that most people who will actually talk to you won't really think that you're an idiot if you say or do something while trying to open up to them. They're more likely to think that you're an idiot if you try to convince them that 1+1=16 or that Canada is in Africa. If you can manage to convince yourself to worry less about what other people think of you, and to instead focus more on them, what they say and what they do, then you'll do well in socializing.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      I've had problems similar to this but different issue before so it always bother me when people assume I am something I am not. They don't understand that so I'm working on it but it affects my worklife so much and if you add on my social awkwardness, it makes it worse.

      Thank you so much for being helpful anyways x

    • 1mo

      I see. That makes sense, then. Your past isn't any of my business, so hopefully it all goes well for you regarding these friends of yours if not soon, then in time. Maybe you should speak to them and try to let them know that you're uncomfortable with them teasing you. Explain to them that you aren't gay, you just don't know how to talk to guys. Whenever my mom asks why I am still single, I just tell her that I'm too busy playing video games and working. Because that's true. That might be easier said than done since you probably aren't confrontational, but it may help.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I've never had a boyfriend. Why are people so shallow?
    I'm not seeing anything you mentioned as shallow.

    Many people assume a relationship is what others want- if you don't have a boyfriend then the assumption is you want a girlfriend.

    They saying you're "innocent, cute, beautiful" seems more like building up your confidence. They may think you not never having a boyfriend affected your self-esteem so they want to build you up.

    Did they tell you they think you stare at them/check them out? Or do you assume that's why they look at you weirdly? They may be looking at you weirdly not because they think you're checking them out but because you're shy, not good with socializing, and staring into space... some people find that weird/creepy.

    Maybe they're trying to include you by standing in front of me and trying to get close to you. They may feel that you aren't comfortable talking to them or joining in the group (if it is a group standing away from you). So they may think getting closer may have you feel easier about joining in and not feel excluded. Especially if your depression is leaking out and others can see it or guess you're sad.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 8

  • I had my first girlfriend at 18

    0|0
    0|0
  • "I'm not good at socializing, I'm awkward, I'm too shy to talk to boys."

    That's not being shallow, I wouldn't want to date you either.

    0|0
    0|0
    • 1mo

      Did you actually read everything I wrote?

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      @PrincessofNohr No I'm not a prick. I'm an honest person. I wouldn't date a girl like that. Wtf does a sympathetic heartfelt post accomplish for the OP other than 5 minutes of gratification? The OP needs to do something about it.

    • 1mo

      Sorry, that was harsh.

  • Ugly girls can't get boyfriends. One of life's simple facts. No need to be sour about it by taking it out on the rest of us lol.

    1|0
    0|1
    • 1mo

      Please read the whole thing properly. This just validates the point about adults being shallow.

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      And you're 32?

    • 1mo

      I'm asking for advice about my life not about my appearance.

  • You're fat aren't you?

    1|0
    1|0
    • 1mo

      Oh wow no they actually said i'm tiny

    • Show All
    • 1mo

      It is. I had to learn to do it when I was around 20. You need to learn now. Stop

    • 1mo

      Oh wow you're actually nice. Thanks! I'll try!

  • dont worry about it. or what others think.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Work on your shyness and social awkwardness and guaranteed you WILL get guys.

    0|0
    1|0
  • It literally doesn't occur to people that you would be shy. That suggests to me you are above average looking. If you were below average looking it would surprise them less.

    So they assume you have guys interested in you. If you're not dating any they conclude its because you don't want to; they then speculate as to why.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sure you'll have one before you hit 25

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 5

  • Maybe stop blaming other people and instead start working on your own shyness, insecurities and depression.

    1|1
    0|0
  • This isn't everyone, trust me. It just sounds like these people are immature assholes. If they're judging you for not having a boyfriend by 18, I'd say fuck'em all. A real adult doesn't make judgments like that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You're the only one who really knows the truth. I don't know what to tell you other than keep being yourself and try to not care about what they think about you. I'm a shy person and hate it when people "force" me to talk more because then I get very anxious. So if a guy attracts you, take your time and don't let your friends change who you are.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I've had that too. I'm 22, super picky with men, see past their bS in a second, and I'm just tooooo selective. I've had many people ask me if I'm gay, and I am not. I'm depressed too but I've gotten so used to people's closed mindedness that I just don't let it bother me anymore. They're just ignorant people, why spend time thinking of them and their ignorant thoughts?

    0|0
    0|0
  • I am 18 as well and hey I have never had a boyfriend. You don't need a boy in your life to make it worth it because for the most part all boys do is break your hearts. Most relationships often end up with a break up.
    Your young. You have so many years to come. Live your life!

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...