Mine is the lady across the street who picks imaginary weeds all summer.
Most Helpful Girl
I had this creepy neighbor that lived across the street from me. He lived with his son and daughter in law. They have 7 little rug rats running around. So he is the grandpa of those little kids. His name was Tom. He looked like the guy off of the Lovely Bones. He had coke bottle glasses and a creepy smile. I knew his daughter because we would hang out together. Well everytime we (me and my sister) would go outside he would open his front door and watch us. Then close his door when we left. Then one time I had his daughter stay the night and he came over and was hitting on my mom. He wouldn't leave til 11 at night. Then I went across the street to hang out with her and her dad (the creepy guy) made Kool Aid for us. He poured us some drinks and gave it to us. We drank it and it tasted weird. It didn't taste like Kool aid or watered down, or sugary Kool aid. I left after that. Months later he gets kicked out of the house. Never saw that creep again.1
Most Helpful Guy
The one I have right now, haha. He lives in the townhouse next door, he almost never leaves. Apparently he does security camera stuff in like courthouses or something? Whatever it is, he has like FOUR different security cameras installed into the front wall of the upstairs. I feel like I'm being watched every time I come or go, and I envision some battle station in his living room with all the different screens for each camera, haha. He actually just looks like a middle aged dork, I'm sure he's harmless, but the cameras are definitely creepy. Other thing is, he left a note in mailbox last year about noise protocol. He led off by thanking us for being his quietest neighbors in 11 years, and then told us the walls are not insulated and very thin, especially in the upstairs bedrooms, and he said he could hear "private conversations" late at night, which I read as "fucking", haha. So that's weird. Like what should we do, bro? No sex til one of us moves out? Fuck outta here😒 I mean, I don't think we get oddly loud, but I mean, it's not complete silence, you know? Yeesh. And then with the note, he included a second paper with the outlined rules because "sometimes Dave (our landlord) forgets to give them out to new tenants", except it's clearly been typed in the same font and spacing, and little telltale idiosyncrasies all over the place, so he obviously just wrote what he "wants" the rules to be. No noise after 10 PM, but the lease says 11. Furniture must have felt on the feet to eliminate the dragging noise. No running down stairs because "it sounds like a bass drum to your neighbor." No children playing outside (we have no kids, I'm sure he wrote this not specifically for us). No slamming doors or shutting them loudly. This whole laundry list that no landlord in the history of forever has come up with. The noise clause in our lease is wicked standard, just like "be respectful, keep loud noise down between 11-8", but this dude had his shit tailor-made, haha. I don't know, it's whatever, I've managed to avoid meeting him for two years so far. My girlfriend thinks he might have Asperger's or something, said they sometimes have hypersensitivity to noise. Not a huge deal, but I definitely got a laugh out of that note😂1