A question for black women?

Why is the hair-touching thing such a big deal? There's a book titled "You Can't Touch My Hair". Solange's new album has a song called "Don't Touch My Hair". Wow.

I'm not talking about those people who touch it without permission. That's disrespectful as hell. I'm talking about when someone does ask and you get all pissed. Why not just say "no"?

If I'm asking to touch your hair, it'd be because not many black people live here and I'm curious about the texture. Don't want me to? Say no. I'm not gonna insist. What's so wrong about that?

Updates:
1mo ASKING, ladies. I'm asking why you get angry about ASKING to touch your hair. Please read the question.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • My nephew had very fine and very blond hair. I'd take this 3 yr old kid to a mall in a mixed neighborhood and I can't tell you how many black women wanted to touch his hair. I saw no harm in it and he enjoyed it.
    I think black women are reluctant to reciprocate because they can spend gigabucks yearly for treatments, extensions and styling and they don't want things messed up.
    Why anyone would get pissy about someone asking is beyond me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think its just annoying and uncalled for asking to touch peoples hair is embarrassing and makes them feel singled out. Imagine being a black girl with a group of friends without your hair type always asking to touch your hair and making comments about it. So no you cannot touch my hair 😫😑

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What Guys Said 2

  • Huh? I'm white. But I had a black girlfriend and I never heard anything about not touching her hair. Never heard of that from her or any of her black sisters or friends. A lot of black women wear hair extensions... maybe that's why they don't want you to touch their hair? I just never really was aware of any black women I know having any special complaint about that.

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  • No one wants their hair to be touched because hands are greasy and carry germs.

    I understand why they get angry when people ask. In their eyes other people should know about the germs and greasiness and shouldn't even ask.

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    • 1mo

      You're assuming everyone's hands are always dirty. That's kinda weird.

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    • 1mo

      But then wouldn't everyone be packed with germs? No one should touch anything.

    • 1mo

      You can't avoid touching some things, but things like other people's heads can easily be avoided.

What Girls Said 9

  • It's weird if you don't know someone like that. Also curls can get ruined by touching, it takes time to sculpt them. If my hair is straightened then I love when people play with it. My future bae can mess up my curls all he wants though 😏

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  • Nothing wrong with asking in general, but overtime the same question becomes worn out and annoying.. The best way I could explain is just like in a museum they tell you not to touch anything because they want to preserve the art. And personally, i put a lot of gel in my hair and the shape would mess up if it's touched. On top of that, we don't know where those hands have been, and they don't know what's in our hair either...

    My dad had the same problem as a kid except it was his baby soft skin. Imagine that, people constantly wanting to feel your skin... or hair.

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  • Taking care of our hair is not easy. It usually takes a couple of hours and lots of patience. So, if someone is touching our hair, then that person is ruining our work.
    Many people like to touch a black woman's hair only to make fun of it or to ask stupid questions. Like "do you comb your hair?", "do you wash it?", "is your hair real?" etc...
    And obviously no one likes to get asked these questions.
    Plus, touching someone's hair without their permission is very disrespectful.

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    • 1mo

      Your last sentence is exactly my point. I'm talking about touching WITH permission.

    • 1mo

      I get that.
      The problem is that many people don't even ask. They simply touch it, for the reasons I mentioned. And that is wrong.

    • 1mo

      Agreed.

  • They want to let their hair be natural without people acting like it's so different. My hair is blonde and people were always trying to touch it when I was a child and it made me uncomfortable sometimes.

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  • Because it's annoying. How would you feel if someone comes and asks you again and again and again. Why do you want to touch someone's head with your dirty hands.

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    • 1mo

      Why do people keep saying my hands are dirty 😂 I'll go and wash them if I need to. I don't roll in mud all day

  • Because so many people want to touch our hair daily, stopping us to comment, etc. At first it's flattering then it becomes really annoying. Doesn't matter if you ask or not, it still bugs me. Like yes my hair can defy gravity, look from a distance, please.

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  • Because it's rude and I'm not a pet. We spend a ton of money on our hair, so we don't want some random person's fingers in it. And I don't know where your hands have been. I think it's weird in general.

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    • 1mo

      Then say no? That's what I'm saying. I'm not gonna put my hands on your hair if you don't allow me to. Asking is not a bad thing.

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    • 1mo

      Details that have nothing to do with the question. People respond to the question, not irrelevant details. Maybe you should learn how to properly ask a question because had you done so the mess of explanation you gave wouldn't have been needed to begin with.

    • 1mo

      Disagreed. I don't have time to deal with you. Bye.

  • I dont understand why you want to do that... that is weird.

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  • Couldnt agree more.
    Even me being white i get people touching/playing with my hair or asking to touch it all the time and it honestly doesn't really bother me. I just dont get why its such a big deal to them...

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