What's Something Distressing You Have Found out About a Mate?

One of my school mates today gave her graduation speech. It was one of those "if I can do it, you can do it" speeches, which usually people roll their eyes at. Yeah whatever, you can't have had it worse than me.

Now, the most I knew about her past is that she came to Australia and started school without having ever spoken English, her dad was not around and one of her siblings at died at some point. I didn't know anything past this and I don't like to pry so she never spoke any further about it.

She was asked to make a speech at our last assembly today, and she spoke about her past.

It turns out, not only had she not been able to talk English, but she had started school at yr 10, with NO prior education. Had come from Afghanistan because her father was in the military and was killed by the Taliban, and her mother knew they wouldn't stop at just him.
So they moved elsewhere, but that place did not believe in giving women education, and my friends mother wanted better for her children than what she'd gotten, but before they could move to Australia, my friends brother was killed by the men who killed her father.

I never knew any of this, and I feel terrible about not talking to her much the last couple weeks, and it amazes me that after all she'd gone through, she could still cry at what I'VE gone through, when my issues aren't half as bad as hers.

So yeah.

Found that out today.

(No, there were NO dry eyes at assembly today)

What have you found out about a mate that you found distressing or upsetting?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I definitely sympathize for your classmate and the losses that she has gone through. I don't blame you for feeling the way that you did, but it just shows thst you care about other people and what they have experienced in their lives. I know it sounded like in the begining it was another one of those speeches that you've heard in the past, but as you listen to it, it takes a completely 180 turn that you least expect it. It gives you a different perspective on your life when you hear someone else talk about theirs, or at least it does for me whenever I hear someone else talk.

    For me what I have found distressing and upsetting about a good friend of mine, was that he took his own life. It was distressing for me because I heard of him talking about it a lot and It didn't dawn on me that he was thinking about it for quite sometime. I thought he wasn't serious or it was just a time in his life that he just felt down for a little. Most times he was always happy, joking, and laughing, so it was hard to tell if he was depressed. When he took his own life I was more upset at myself for not being there for him and trying to get him some help. I honestly believe if I had done that he probably would still be here today. I try not to kick myself in ass for it but It still creeps on me every now and then.

    I know we all have our own issues that we deal with day in and day out, but its always good to hear others and give them the support that they need to help them feel appreciated in life, and they'll do the same for you when they see that you care about them.

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  • They are the most amazing people who have been through a load of crap and come out the other side - I personally believe that most people have their own personal pile of crap to get through and although we are inclined to grade it, it is their problem at that particular time so it should not be under or overestimated - You don't know how you would react until you are there and what your next pile of crap will be - This was probably good for your friend that people will respect and understand them more.
    I think all my mates have had various troubles and I tried to help them as best as I could.

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What Girls Said 1

  • A friend of mine was pronounced dead once, only to wake up to their own funeral.

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    • 1mo

      ... how? I mean, thirty years ago, I can understand that happening. These days?

      How the heck?

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