Why is hope scary?

After getting hospitalized for being suicidal and knowing I'm going to get treatment. I start Thursday but I feel hopeful for my future for the first time a really really long time but it also makes me a little scared. Why is that, its not just how I'm getting treatment but hope is actually a little scary to me.
Its confusing.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Because it also provides you with uncertainty

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Most Helpful Guy

  • A few reasons for that

    Hope for the future, creates change. As much as we want to get away from dark times, change is unpredictable. Meaning we don't know what will come from the change

    In your case you're leaving a comfortable situation to be in, a place that felt like home, somewhere you desperately tried to go but thankfully it didn't. It could also be a fear of just falling back into old habits

    Be hopeful, be fearless, and push through but never look back. Only to reflect if you need to

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What Girls Said 11

  • why is it that you are suicidal? what problems do you have?

    well, about hope, it can be that you are mixing hope with obsessive thinking about 'future'. Are you? or are you not?

    It is important to not mix being hopeful with obsessively imagining your future.

    hope needs a little bit of faith. future needs planning. neither faith nor planning can give you peace of mind or a road to future if you have one of them only. faith + careful planning take you to the destination.

    imagine it as a compass. Faith is the steady leg and planning is the adjustable leg.

    maybe you don't have faith in yourself, you don't have the steady leg, and are trying to adjust the other one.

    that will cause chaos. meaningless lines, instead of a beautiful circle.

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  • Don't worry- I remember feeling the same way last year.

    As @Jxpxtxr said, it's about uncertainty. Before, you were certain that you would be miserable. But hope means new possibilities, and the part of your mind that deals with uncertainty just hasn't had a chance to catch up.

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  • Because it's change and change is terrifying

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  • because people always focus so much on the future and worry about ten minutes from now, then living in the present. People are so afraid that the fears their imagination conjures up will come true that they perceive situations to be worse than they are instead of stepping back and taking a look at the larger picture.

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  • Everything is still unknown. You're not sure what to expect, even if hope is good.

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  • Because losing it hurts.

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  • Maybe because you haven't felt this feeling for a long time so it feels unfamiliar to you, and also exciting and anxious at the same time for a better future

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  • Because there is a possibility you will lose it again.

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  • Because the world is big and scary af but beautiful

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  • The more you expect the less you get.

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  • Suicide is giving up, but living is surviving. Don't be afraid cuz everyone is gonna die

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What Guys Said 12

  • Probably because you've been hurt so much you don't know how to handle it. Let me tell you my story. For most of my life I struggled in school because I had Aspergers syndrome but in 2012, I started doing amazing in college, graduated in the top of my major and in the GRE I got in the top 11%. But when I applied to Grad school my past haunted me the first time round and didn't get into any programs. I also struggled with work because of my Aspergers syndrome and lost many jobs. But later in 2014 I got really good at work and in Feb 2015 I got a PhD interview at UCLA but was rejected because I had Aspergers and the guy thought I couldn't be a TA because of it. I then lost my job (and later found out it was for a BS reason). I got acceptance letters for Maryland and Hawaii Pacific University only to find out that they couldn't fund me. I came very close to suicide. But I tried again a third time after finding another job and I got two interviews. One at the University of Washington and the other at UC Irvine. Shortly after the UC Irvine interview I got a rejection notice from them and I started having flashbacks to the previous two years (watching the opportunities fade away). But then that Friday I got an acceptance letter from the University of Colorado and I didn't tell my parents for a month because I felt it was just too good to be true. But I did and near the end of the application cycle I got a rejection letter from UW which left Colorado. I was upset at first but when I met my adviser and learned what kind of research was done in his lab any remorse I had about not getting into the other programs went away very quickly (although I will always hold ill feelings towards UCLA).

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  • I'm glad you're feeling hopeful, man.

    Hope is scary because --- by definition --- it means you're anticipating something good for something whose outcome is not yet known. So you don't know for sure what yet will happen.

    But hope is good. Keep pushing and holding on to it, day by day.

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  • Sometimes, people become accustomed to their position in life, they know they can satisfy the expectations placed on them, and it is a comfortable rut. Leaving the security of that can be intimidating.

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  • Hope is unknown - What you are feeling is not scared but anticipation - An analogy is you are going to play a sport, you are most likely going to play your best but you are nervous you might not - I won't lie to you there will probably be patches when it won't be smooth sailing but it will be worth it when you get there - Nerves can be good , anyone who tells you they weren't nervous trying something new is lying - Best of luck to you.

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  • People don't propositions where the consequences of their future aren't known

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  • @ginny_weasley said it best. Change really is terrifying. The dark, the unknown it's a primal thing

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  • Same reason levity or affection actually causes some people pain, If misery is all you've ever known then that's your normal.

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  • Bro seriously I hope you're doing better but stop talking about it. I saw in many of your responses you talk about it and you always bring it up. I was hospitalized cause i was once shot in the chest. I don't think I mentioneded it on this website once.
    Seriously I hope you're feeling better but stop talking about it.

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    • 1mo

      Easy dude, you don't know what it is like to walk in his shoes - If talking helps him, let him talk about it - I am glad he is talking and am willing to listen to him all day long - You don't have to read his questions or answer them.

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    • 1mo

      @bab_callie "You did not seriously say that being shot is nothing compared to what he's feeling." Be thankful, be very very thankful that you are totally ignorant about what's it's like to suffer from an extremely bad episode of depression or bipolar. I would bet that all of us would rather have been once shot in the chest than suffer as we have- it would entail much less suffering. As for the odds of dying, don't even think about bringing that up. As bad off as we've been, yours were probably lower than ours.

    • 1mo

      @JenSCDC see, my depression isn't even that severe, and my anxiety is the real bitch, but even i'd take a shot to the chest vs a bad depressive episode

  • Good luck, Waffles.

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  • failure

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  • Hope isn't scary, the unknown is. We all fear the unknown.

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