Im not looking for sympathy I just need to vent. I frequent this site everyday but I'm ashamed of my childhood... so I'm gonna go anon...
When I was little my mother would treat me horribly and beat me with pots, hangers, and she even punched me in my chest once, for not finding a pacifier (she apologized after) but that shit hurt. She kept me from my father who she said used to sell drugs, he has a business now and doesn't go near drugs. He sold them when he first came from Jamaica and also worked construction... thats what she had told me.
My relationship with my mother is nonexistent, she left me when I was 6 to go live with a younger man (19, i think she was 26) and to this day i'll never understand why. Only when I drink, do I look back on my life and wonder what I did to deserve that it hurts badly. My aunt and grandmother took up the motherly role and although they made me feel VERY loved, I just wished it were my mother who loved me... Long story short her marriage didn't work out and she now hops from guy to guy like she did with my pops.
Im 23 a virgin and still scared to approach women but at the same time I'm kinda content with being alone...
Is this normal? Can my relationship with my mom be the reason I don't want to deal with women?
Most Helpful Girl
its normal that you're feeling this way... you might wonder if the girl you might approach might act as your mom and not respect you... but i think you should at least try and make friends with the girl you might be interested in... then see how things goes2
Most Helpful Guy
Yes... it is mostly true that your mothers abusive nature left you feel this way. I had a childhood friend who was sexually abused by her Aunt but did not get justice because his parents and others did not believe him and even if they did they ignored it because he is a boy. In his society boys are sexually abused by both elderly men and women and it is acceptable. He was so traumatized that he could hardly speak to any girl or woman and he felt that his life is worthless. He even tried to take his life once. When I met him I felt so bad hearing his story but I hardly could do anything because he was from different country and culture where sexually abusing young boys are common. While some boys just accept it and move along, boys like him could not cope up with this.
Now that he is in US, I counselled him and he found this society a bit more concerned with childrens abuse be it a boy or a girl and is slowly recovering from his past trauma. I wish I could do him justice by bringing his female predators/molestors to justice. Unfortunately these 3rd world developing Asian countries do not have proper law enforcement to protect young children and the law is pretty much in the hands of few who rule the village or town1